Sunday, August 19, 2012

Will anyone read this?

I'm the worst... I haven't updated my blog in 4 months. And when I did, it was about LAST SUMMER. I have missed blogging about whole year.

My sister told me I should just shut 'er down. I'm not convinced. Yet.

Possible reasons for my absence (... annnd just had to Google how to spell absence):

1. I have Twitter now (@as_per_danielle) so I can share my every thought when it comes to me in a short, controlled sentence. No need to form these thoughts into proper paragraphs, edit them, and post them on here.

2. I've mentioned before that some people take this blog the wrong way. As in, I go on a lot of dates, post about them, and therefore am a "slut." I'll have guys telling me "Don't put this on your blog." They don't realize that I don't blog everything, and about everyone. These are mostly one-off bad dates or funny situations. I thought that maybe if I cooled it on the blogging guys wouldn't be scared away. Well, still single. There goes that idea.

3. I work full time now. And I'm old(-ish).When I come home from work I want to lay around and do nothing. Not do more work. And when you have a year of events to discuss, believe me, it's work.

4. Also on the being old front... I don't do as much cool shit anymore. I mean, my life is pretty fun; I have great friends and a crazy family and still get myself in to situations where people go "Only you, Danielle" ... but not on as regular of a basis. No one wants to read this blog: "Woke up, worked, watched tv, went to bed at 10pm.

Does anyone have any ideas? Shut it down as old history? Keep it up and find some way to stay motivated? Me no know what to do!

Monday, April 09, 2012

Celebrity Look-A-Likes Continued

I wrote my blog on Celeb Look-A-Likes a while ago, but I had one I needed to add.

Joshue Ledet - of American Idol "Fame"

and his twin, Henderson Alvarez - Pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays.

What do you think? And can you think of any others that need to be added?

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Interesting Message I Received

I thought about editing it, but I think it's better as-is:

"Your absolutely beautiful sweetheart. cute. sexy. Thats the perfect combination, and you seem like a really nice girl. This message is just to give you the idea of the kinda guy ud be talking to. Im the kinda guy thats nice, im very respectful. If you wanna get to know me to, id be the kinda guy, that you might find interesting. The guy that would have that sense of humour that would make you laugh lol, put a smile on your pretty face. I like to joke arround, im kinda sarcastic, sightly cocky, but not in the bad way. I like to try to make the best of everything and everything fun. im positive, id say im a variety. The kinda guy that can be sensative, open minded, doesnt hold back, but is strong minded about it. Meaning, ill tell you what i think, and be straight up pretty much lol, if u can grasp what i mean lol. I can really be a dick, but if u respect me, id give ya the shirt off my back. I wanted to tell you about myself, because, i find you to be really cute. You have really nice eyes, You have an uplifting gorgeous smile. You are the perfect combination of cute and sexy. The beauty i see in you is what got me here, but the girl you are that im more curious about, personality is what would keep us talking if theres compatibility. Looks are the bait, personality is the hook.
Hope you can appretiate that and understand that lol. You seem like an intersting girl, and im intrigued to find out more. I wanted to give you the idea of what kinda guy ud be getting to know if this was mutual, and you wrote me back.
weather u th├Čnk youd like a guy like me or not.
Read my profile, and if you think we would get along. Lets talk and figure it out
besides that, hope you dont mind a longer message. Just think ud be a good girl to know. You Got my attenion. I put it all down for an intoduction because i noticed, ur looking for something real. You look great, and if ur a caring kinda girl. im interested
And for the gift i gave ya. All im trying to say is, girl you are soo damn sexy, if u were on of the girls on that chick show called the bachelor, i swear, looking at u as the work of at that u are and every small detail added making u the gorgeous lady u are. Sweetheart, you would have enough roses stacked to make a bouquette ;) I dont mean to sound so plain and origional. Im just, going arround what any other guy would usually tell ya. WHy, because im impressed by what i see, when my eyes see you. A famous artist once defined beauty as something so practical, basically perfect, where no parts have to be removed, changed, or added to. Thx for being the perfect example."

One word: YIKES!

Thursday, April 05, 2012

I Heart Point Roberts!

The last weekend in August we had a family sleepover at my aunt and uncle's cottage in Point Roberts. (They call it a cottage... really it's a sweet, full-sized house.)

I had to work all day, so I headed down myself after work. You know what takes you longer to get there? When you don't turn on the right street and end up at the ferry terminal. Thanks for the directions, Dad.

I got there in time for some appies: guacamole with shrimp in it. Interesting. And my uncle was making me white grape martinis... delish!

Then it was time for the Mexican cook off. One half of the family made enchiladas, and I made create your own quesadillas. (Super easy: Mix salsa and cream cheese and spread onto a tortilla to make everything stick... Have cut up peppers, onions and chicken... also black beans, cheddar and monterey jack. Everyone puts what they want on half the tortilla. Then fold in half and fry like a grilled cheese on low until the cheese melts and it gets golden brown. Sooo good!)

As the night went on we kept drinking and kept eating... then went on a walk down to the beach.

Out there you're far away from the city and there are no streetlights so it's pitch black... but once you get your bearings you can see the stars so well. I even saw my first shooting star!

At the point the grown-ups started getting sleepy. My uncle kept falling asleep mid-sentence in his chair, and when we'd wake him up he'd raise his head and go "Ya Mon" in a Jamaican accent, only to fall asleep again 2 minutes later.  Then my aunt fell asleep curled up on the floor. That's just the kind of family we are.

I slept in the foyer on a flattened lounge chair. That's what I get for being the only single one in a limited-bedroom house.

In the morning we had coffee and went for a hike. It's really neat because there are areas on the ende of the cliff that are being erroded away... sort of interesting. My aunt (a decorator) wanted us to find rocks that had been smoothed into a perfect sphere by the sea. Most of mine were rejected but I think she kept one in the "yes" pile.

After the exercise we filled ourselves with bacon, and headed home.

Going through the border on the way back the guy asked me to roll down my back window. I was like "Ummm I have a 'ree ree' " and made a motion of cranking open the window. I guess he though my ghetto windows were safe, so he let me go through.

I hope I was a good girl and get invited again this year!


The day after the patio I texted the mutual friend to see how he was feeling... clearly not too well. I asked him if he remembered everything about the day before and he said no, so I asked him what he did remember and he said "not much."

Either he was too drunk to remember anything (doubtful) or he was a super liar. I didn't really get it because when someone's that drunk they tend to speak the truth. Maybe he was just trying to get me for that one night and I didn't stay so that's that.

We texted back and forth randomly here and there after that... he wanted to know if I was coming to our friend's bday in Whistler... and offered to have a threesome with me and his new girlfriend who he said is super hot.

I was definitely done.

PS. I creeped her... she's not that hot.

Farewell, Vancouver Rooftop Patio

At the end of August my friend with the rooftop patio was moving out of his place... so an open invitation was sent out to come enjoy it while we can. A girlfriend and I decided that we'd take him up on it, so on a bright, sunny Sunday we grabbed our swimsuits, and headed downtown.

We set up by the pool and enjoyed some tanning and some swimming, and some more tanning.

It was a fun day, because different groups kept showing up: the girl he's seeing, a dude from Italy, a pack of Irish guys, and then one of our mutual friends that I'd had a crush on-and-off with forever and had been flirting with recently came up.

My friend who lived there had gone out the night before was super hungover, and the mutual friend had stopped and made him a hangover kit: Grey Goose, gum, toothbrush and toothpaste, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Red Bull, Pringles, condoms etc. It was really sweet of him... and then he pulled out another 3 for the rest of us! I was stunned to get a present... He'd clearly put in a lot of effort and money. What a guy!

I day-drank to get a bit of a buzz, but had to work the next day so stopped early. As the day went on I got more sober, and everyone else got more drunk. First there was an incident where the guy I was crushing on tried to kiss my friend in the kitchen, and it was a he-said, she-said about whether it was just a friendly peck or more. Yikes. Then the strata council lady (who looked familiar, I guess she's on the news) came up on the roof and asked us who was smoking up there... because a bush on one of the patios below us was on fire. Super yikes! It wasn't us... but a bunch of the guys grabbed some buckets and put the fire out with some pool water.

Then I had a convo with crush guy. He was pretty drunk at this point... so the words were flowing. I was mad that he'd tried to kiss my friend, and he told me he'd never do that  because she'd dated one of his friends for a long time, and was just trying to console her (which I won't give away all her secrets, but made sense.) He then told me he brought the little goodie bags because he knew I'd be there, and that he's always been attracted to me because I was low-maintenance and had a good head on my shoulders. So... we made out a bit. He told me I was a good kisser, but not as good as him. He said that like 6 times. He kept trying to get me to stay the night, even saying he'd pay what I was going to earn at work the next day so I didn't have to work! He told me he'd buy me boobs, he told me he'd take me away for the weekend. He told me a lot of things. During dinner he kept telling everyone that we're getting married... even other random people on the patio.

After that I had to take off... so I kissed him and told him to call me. I ended up feeling like shit in the morning and called in sick to work anyways. I should have just kept drinking and crashed! Pshhh

Rodeo Drive

"Weeeellll it's 40 below and I don't give a fuck, so I hop in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo!!!"

Weeeellll... it was more like 24 above (that's Celcius  - go Canada!) but this summer I attended my first rodeo with my girlfriend Caitlin.

Having grown up in Abbotsford I'd attended the Agrifair many a time, but had never actually seen the rodeo part of things. (Or the Fat Pig part actually... and I missed the boat, because the previous year had been too rowdy, and alas, it's shut down, hopefully not forever.)

Caitlin is dating a real, live cowboy... who we picked up at the airport, along with his cowboy friends, and headed to the stadium. I was wearing my cutest rodeo-ish-without-trying-too-hard gear: a cute denim dress with a brown belt, and brown slouchy boots... and the boys took notice :)

We dropped them off to get ready, and roamed around for a while. Bonus: using their IDs to get in for free! We got some fresh fruit samples, coo'd over the baby animals, took a look at the goods for sale, then charged by a giant horse... so we decided to head back to watch the show.

Sitting near us at the rodeo was a lady who you knew had been around the rodeo circuit for a long time. I asked Caitlin what they call the rodeo whores... you know, the country version of "puck slut" or "puck bunny" and she told me they're Buckle Bunnies (because the winner get belt buckles.) This lady was telling us what hotels the guys stay at in all the different cities. She was a riot.

Caitlin's boyfriend is a calf-roper, apparently a sweeter, kinder cowboy than the bucking bronco riders, who get all the girls and are full of themselves. We watched him go and he was in first place! Yee-haw!

After the rodeo we hung out in the VIP tent. It was all cheap booze and free food and plaid shirts. The food took forever... but can't complain about free, right? There was also a plethora of cowboys to flirt with. That had never really been my style, but they are CHARMING I tell ya. However, they're basically all married and have a wife at home with kids in Alberta somewhere so that's a downer.

Later on, Caitlin's friend Hilary showed up with her horse and a couple bottles of cheap wine, so we headed to the field and had a picnic next to the horseys. Nothing like lying in a grassy field, handing around wine bottles on a warm summer night. I'm definitely in for this year!

I'm Sowwy

Well first off I'd like to say that I clearly failed my last year's New Year's resolution to be better at keeping my blog up to date... because it's April... and my last post is about July. This year I didn't bother making a resolution... better not to give myself anything to live up to so no one is disappointed, right? (Side note: Why, at 28 years old, can I still not spell dissappointed without looking it up?)

So, Nicole, Jayme and whoever else actually read my blog: I will try harder :)

And... drumroll please... I have Twitter now! Follow me: @as_per_danielle

Friday, January 13, 2012

Baby, You're a Firework!

In the middle of July I did something awesome... Attended a Katy Perry Concert! Yay! I headed downtown to meet my friends Elise and Danielle. (Our other friend cannot be named as he/she called in sick to come with us.)

Oh, wait... I just met up with Danielle, because Elise was lucky enough to weasel herself into a meet-n-greet with Katy! She's apparently super cute with a tiny figure, and is very nice in person.

We were in row 1, by where centre ice would be (not on the floor) and the seats were great. As you'd assume the concert was a lot of fun. They followed a storyline of Katy working for a nasty butcher and ends up in a crazy candyland with a cute boy. It bugs me to this day that I can't place the male they had in the videos. Anyone out there knows please let me know! I'm guessing it was like some show on the CW.

There were lots of colourful costume changes ... and at one point Katy even hovered by us on a cotton-candy cloud. And speaking of cotton candy... the entire stadium smelled like it!

At one point she yelled that her husband was coming out... and then he didn't. I felt kind of gipped. There was a special guest though: Kitty Purry!!!

The best part of the concert was when she performed one of my favourite songs of all time: "I Wanna Dance with Somebody." I screamed like a school girl!

Cancer Fundraiser 2011

If you've been a reader of my blog for a while (aka my sister) you know that my friends Chris and Jamie put on a huge cancer fundraiser every year, and this year was no exception. We typically do it in their dad's backyard, but considering this was the first fundraiser after our friend Shaun lost his life to cancer, we decided to go a little bigger this time... and have a beach party in the sand of the volleyball courts behind the Langley Events Centre!

Along with the tickets for the party, cash is raised in a huge raffle. I was pretty proud of myself for getting a shitload of raffle prizes donated. Big thanks to those who came through for me :)

The day of the party was sunny and warm... there were hammocks, palm trees, baby pools and lots and lots of alcohol. They were only lacking in one department: Port-O-Potties. At one point before more were shipped in, the line for the bathroom was about a half hour long. Luckily I'm known for making friends in bathroom lines.

There were a few special guests too... Default, The Boombox Saints and the Tito Deville band. Dre Morel DJ'd... and Flipout was there too, even though he didn't do much! Sorry dude, you're not famous enough to just "make an appearance." Maybe if you were Kim Kardasian... or even Snooki.

I spent the relaxin' day on a beach blanket with some of my besties... and being in Langley you couldn't walk 2 steps without bumping into someone you know. Even my friends in other towns were like "Oh, you're at that cancer party? I heard about that!"

Once the sun went down it got really cold, really fast (Worst summer weather in the history of my life this year!)... so after a quick trip home to throw on some jeans and a hoodie (and to my friends to feed her new kittens... sooo cute) I was ready to go for round 2.

The next morning I got up early and went to the field to help out... mmm picking gum and cigarette butts out of the sand... tasty! I also then volunteered myself to be on bottle-depot-duty. I literally stood at the depot for over an hour throwing bag after bag of sticky cans and bottles onto the table... even having to wait for my friend Chris to get a third truckful of bags. All together we raised over $400 in empties, though!

At the end of the day the fundraiser was super successful... $105,940 raised with a hundred percent proceeds to the Canadian Cancer Society! We did good, kids. We did good.

Special Karma aside: I won a raffle prize! Canucks tickets and a night at the Westin! :) And no, it was not fixed!

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Poems by Dani

I came across some poems I'd been forced to write at school Grade 3. I remember this because I used the word "lust" and the teacher put a question mark beside it like she didn't think I knew what it meant. Well, I'll have her know I was already watching the original 90210 at that age. Maybe SHE didn't know what lust was... but Kelly and Dylan sure did.

Without further ado... here are my brain nuggets:


The ice cream man is coming
Children run and scream


Night is approaching
Daffodils are closing up
Roses close their eyes
Lilies lay down in their beds
Bedtime for little blossoms


happy and warm
hugging and kissing
the best feeling in the world

Leah's Baptism

As I'd basically behaved myself the night before, I wasn't too hungover for church the day after the wedding.

We sat through the regular sermon before the pastor got to the baptism part. I didn't really pay attention, not really my thing. Normally, I'd people watch, but couldn't because they sat us in the VIP section aka the front row. Luckily the pastor wasn't a spitty talker, or we'd have been in the splash zone.

They brought all the kids in the congregation up the the front to sit around Leah while they prayed and shit. The best part was that one little boy was hamming it up to the audience... first he'd give a thumbs up and see how they reacted, then a thumbs down, then hovered between... like he was the pharoh deciding whether the gladiator got to live or die.

After that they played a slide show of Leah pictures. She is one cute kid.

Then they holy moley'd her (I'm assuming that's what they call it when she gets holy water dumped on her head. If they don't, they should.) She didn't even cry. That water must be "No More Tears®"

After that we got to leave and have lunch at my brother-in-law's parent's house. There was dessert. Delightful.

Ron and Robyn's Wedding

Ron and Robyn got married July 2nd. There's a reason these two are my friends. They're smart enough to start their wedding at 5pm instead of 2pm the day after they know their friends are going to be out drinking the night before. After arriving home that morning from downtown I had time to take a long nap, and still get cute for the wedding.

I got my mom to drop me off at Redwoods (there IS an advantage to living at home) and mingled inside with my friends. A few minutes later they ushered us out to the chapel area. They have a really nice set-up there between the trees, the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. The only problem was it was too damn hot. In the short time we sat waiting (20 minutes, maybe) I was sweating my ass off. It was bad enough that when we stood up for the bride to walk down the aisle I had to sit back down into a pool of my own sweat. Urg. I really felt for the dudes.

They kept the ceremony short and sweet, took some group pics, and it was time to relax and drink until dinner. I sat on the patio chatting most of the time with my friend's new girlfriend.

For dinner I was seated with my good friend Nick and his girlfriend, and Eric and Mary, a really fun couple friend of the bride and groom's. The speeches were kept short and sweet and actually amusing, and then it was time to eat.

I can't remember what the food was like, which is kind of a change for me. Sort of disturbing actually. Someone should take my temperature.

We danced and drank the night away... to a reasonable hour. SOMEONE had planned my niece's baptims for the next morning. Blast!