Thursday, June 02, 2011

Oh Yes it's Ladies Night!

In October, myself and 2 friends attended "Ladies Night" at my personal trainer's rugby club in Burnaby. Two words best describe this night: Gong and Show.

My trainer had told me that no one really needed to dress up, so we got there in our cute shirts and jeans, only to see 19-year-old girls in almost prom wear. The best way to get over feeling under dressed? Drink!

They had cute little drink menus for us; all the tables and drinks were named after different areas of New York. Oh, and who were we getting served by? The rugby players themselves. Our player/waiter was a super cute guy from Australia. Tall, dark, 5 O'Clock shadow... Yes, please!

As they were trying to make lotsa moola for their club they were also selling shooters... and for each round purchased your waiter would take off an article of clothing. By the end most of them were only wearing slacks and a bowtie. And these guys are fit! Well, except the chubbers.

We ate, we drank, and then it was time for the show. They'd hired a male stripper to come perform for us. He was about 5'6" and had long, blonde hair. Think David Spade with a nice body. I don't think most women are actually turned on by these shows... but I was laughing my ass off the whole time. I mean how often do you get to see a swinging dong out in public? Not too often (unless you've just seen Hangover II. Spoiler alert!)

After the nakedness one of the rugby players did a stand-up comedy
set for us and he was actually really good. I've seen comics that were worse at Yuk Yuk's. I give a lot of credit to comedians. I mean, I'm clearly hysterically funny myself... but I can't do it on demand, it has to come to me.

We also played a few games... featuring me straddling our waiter trying to break a balloon on his lap. I guess my crotch just isn't sharp enough (probably a good thing!) so I was bouncing away forever! Finally it popped, but we lost.

The rest of the night gets a little more hazy. By this point we'd merged our table with another set of girls to be able to merge our shooter buying power and up the naked factor. The dance floor was bumping... people had sharpies out and half naked bodies were getting written on.

I ended up making out with out waiter on the balcony... and one of my friends made out with another one on the couch in the spare room.

We made it back to our friends house to crash. The one who didn't live there thinks it's haunted. I really have no opinion about stuff like that but I was sort of intrigued.

The next day and for a while after I'd get texts from the cute Australian wanting to hang out. Problem is that he has no car, and I'm no one's chauffer. Also, his texts were as indecipherable as a 12-year-olds. It hurt my grammar-Nazi brain to figure out what he was saying. Eventually it fizzled out.

Only four more months til next year's Ladies Night. Who's in?

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