Friday, January 28, 2011

What is the Internet??

I don't even like to think about the days before the internet. Having to actually talk to people face-to-face, having to use a real map for directions, having to sit outside someone's house peeking in the window if you want to stalk them. *Shiver*

Please enjoy this video of the Today Show from January, 1994. That little mark, that looks like an "A" but with a ring around it? So confusing!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Ba-Ba-Ba-Butterface

I've been doing some thinking about Butterfaces. If you've been hiding under a rock a Butterface is a girl who has a slamming body... but when you pan up the face leaves a little to be desired. You know... Everything's hot... BUT TER FACE.

Here are some amazing examples for those who learn better through pictures:


And I came across this: Top Ten Celebrity Butterfaces.

Now, the reason I got to thinking about this is Mike "The Sitation." Mike is a classic butterface. The pic on the right were you can only see his abs is far superior to the left one.

I wondered if you can call a guy a Butterface. I mean, the direct translation would be "Buthisface" and it just doesn't have the same ring to it. I decided to do some searching.

The first thing I can across were some famous male Butterfaces. They include Jessie "Steroid Free?" from Big Brother,


and Michael "I look better when a swimming cap holds my ears down" Phelps.


Finally I came across a post on a bodybuilding forum about if girls use the term Butterface for guys.

Apparently girls are less cruel and tend to stick with "He's sooo nice though," or "He has a GREAT personality!"

Finally I saw the light: "Brown Baggers." Yes, the appropriate end to my not-so-appropriate search. All is well again in the world!

The Monster Ball

I had the wonderful luck in August to win tickets to Lady Gaga's Monster Ball... and just like the last show I'd seen of hers, it was amazing. When I'd seen Gaga previously it was at the Queen Elizabeth Theater, which was a smaller, more intimate venue, and this time it was at GM Place (or was it already Roger's Arena by then?) so the shows were completely different. If last time I got a glimpse into Gaga's soul, this time it was into her imagination.

I decided that I didn't want to dress up in any crazy costumes, but I definitely wanted to do a hair bow. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to use ALL my hair, because my attempt fell a little flat. Take a look:


I decided to use it to my advantage though and go for a Jackie-O type look. Yes, that is my mom's shirt that I used as a dress. Good eye!


I met up with my friend down town and grabbed some food across from the arena to avoid paying 30-some-odd bucks for a hot dog dinner. I had a falafel from the place right next to the Stadium Skytrain station and it was fantastic!

The whole idea of the Monster Ball is following Lady Gaga and her friends on a crazy night out, through twists and turns, ending up at the "Monster's Ball." First they started taking the subway:


There were some spectactular costumes, including what looked like a giant snowflake:


And something that looked like a white, furry ottoman:


She even ended up playing a piano with a flaming tornado at one point!


At the end we'd finally arrived at the Monster Ball... and monster it was all right, one of those crazy fish from the depth of the ocean that lures other fish with a glowing ball... but with big tentacles too!


What actually really stuck with me from the show wasn't the costumes or songs... it was her attitude. She wanted her show to be a place where everyone can hang out and really be themselves, whoever that was. White, black, straight, gay... all were welcome. She made you feel like you were important, and you matter. She even shares a bit about herself, how she had to deal with the alcoholism of her father and other friends, but came out a better song writer for it. She also talked about how she holds her Canadian fans near and dear, because "Just Dance" went number one here before she was popular in the states at all. You leave the concert feeling like she really loves her fans, and that you are who you are, and you're all right.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Super Swanky Wedding

After I'd brought my friend Nick to a wedding with me this summer it was time to repay the favor and go to one with him. Let me say this, rich people = open bar :)

The ceremony was at the Celebration Pavilion in Queen Elizabeth Park. It was a little difficult to know where to park and where the pavilion was... hello, Vancouver Parks Board... some signage please!

The Pavilion was pretty cool. It's a circular building with a wood roof, and yellow stained glass sides, and the back opens up to the outside. Everything was decorated with flowers and there was someone playing a grand piano. It's pretty small, it was a hot day, and we were packed in there like sardines, but the wedding was short and sweet. The pastor performing it had a good personality and kept it light.

Between the ceremony and reception we decided to keep it classy and head to the Fairmont Pacific Rim for some pricy appies and drinks. One of my friends works there so I know the food is good... mmm sushi. We enjoyed our martinis and our server was amazing, but the food was taking forever. A manager came over to apologize and I told her that plying us with free shooters would definitely do the trick... so they did. I forget what the shooter was but it was green, with brown on the bottom, sorta herby tasting and delicious. It paid off for the hotel also, because as the server walked across the room with them all the other tables wanted one too.


Fully lubricated we walked to the Terminal City Club, where the reception was being held. Took us a while to find it even though we had an idea of what corner it was on. Oh, day drunk! We sat down with my friend's parents and then went up to grab a drink. His parents were a lot of fun... and loved me! His new girlfriend was to meet them in a couple days and I feel sorry for her having to live up to how much they loved me. Insert evil laugh here.

For wedding favors we got little strawberry jams that the bride had made... super cute and tasty. Dinner was pretty good. It was three courses, not a buffet. We had tomato bocconcini salad, little puff pastries with greens and then it was the main course. Nick, being a boy, had never asked me my preference in dinners, so I got a big steak. Not that I don't like steak, but they were cooked to rare/medium rare, which is a bit underdone to my taste. I ate the outside and gave the too-pink part to Nick.


After dinner we went out to the balcony to chill for a bit. There is an amazing view from their huge patio. While we were out there they started the speeches and the door to get back in was right beside the head table so we were stuck out there for the duration. Luckily it was a beautiful night for some patio drinking.

We stayed for a few dances, but Nick had to be at the ferry at a ridiculously early hour so we headed back into town. What a fun night... I'm thinking I need some more rich friends to attend some more fancy weddings!

Cirque du Soliel - Vancouver

In August I went with some girls that I work with and their boyfriends to see Kooza, the Cirque du Soliel show in Vancouver. I had seen "Zumanity" previously in Vegas, but this was my first time seeing the show under the big top.
We arrived, grabbed a drink and headed inside. Even though it was August we were still in Vancouver after all, so it was a cool, rainy day. We had fandangled some cheap tickets from my friend's dad so we were seated at the side of the stange, not quite behind a pole. You get what you pay for, right?

The show was pretty cool. The theme centered around this little boy who was flying his kite, then fell asleep and was having a dream about clowns and boxes and acrobats and such.


There were some crazy contortionists, unicycle stunts and men driving bikes across tightrope wires. I spend the entire show awestruck, with my mouth wide open like a flounder.


The scariest part was the "Wheel of Death" where two men were inside two wheels spinning around, and then they were on the outside of the wheels. One was at the top jumping rope and he caught his foot and started to fall. There was a collective *gasp* and then he secured his footing again. Whew!


I would have enjoyed the show a lot more had the AC not been pumping out frigid air on an already not-too-warm day. I was wearing my coat and still freezing. I'll definitely go again next year when Cirque comes... if I can get some more *ahem* cheap tickets. One of the guys I went to high school with is apparently in one of their shows  now... Ovo, come to Vancouver!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Celebrity Look-A-Likes

Welcome to Celebrity Doppelgangers, Danielle version. No one is safe... and my brain is twisted. Enjoy!

Mother and Daughter Look-a-like
Vanna White (Wheel of Fortune) and Kristin Cavallari (Laguna Beach/The Hills)


Both of them are famous with no real talent to speak of. Vanna White has been turning around letter signs for 30-some-odd-years, and Kristin Cavallari's only claim to fame is boning Brody Jenner. At least they're pretty.

Father and Son Look-a-like
Jesse Williams (Grey's Anatomy) and Kid Model on Today's Parent Magazine



Jesse Williams is hot as hell. I won't say the same about the kid, because that's just gross... but give him a couple years, I bet he's quite the playground pimp!

Brother and Sister Look-a-like
Derek Hough (Dancing with the Stars) and Kaitlin Olson (It's Always Sunny in Philadephia)


It's the eyes. Not quite far enough apart to be Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, but not close enough together to be normal. But... Derek can dance his sack off and Kaitlin is funny as hell so they're cool in my books.

 Human/Bad Guy Look-a-like
Keanu Reeves (Speed/Matrix) and Cobra Commander (GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra)



I know it's really Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the Cobra costume, but they could have saved some serious dough on makeup if they'd cast Keanu instead. Throw a gas mask on him and he's good to go.

Male/Female Look-a-like
Stanley Hudson (The Office) and Chandra Wilson (Grey's Anatomy)


My sister called me a racist when I told her that these two look the same. Well, it's not just because they're black... She's definitely not Halle Berry, and he's no 50 Cent. They may have been twins separated at birth.

Human/Cartoon Look-a-like
Sonia Pizarro (Operation Repo) and Ursula, the Sea Witch (Disney's The Little Mermaid)


This one is thanks to my Dad commenting: "That lady looks like the Sea Witch!" Yes Dad, yes she does.

Cartoon/Bodypart Look-a-like
Mr Hankey The Christmas Poo (South Park) and Owen Wilson's Nose (Wedding Crashers)


Don't see it? Maybe this will help:

Monday, January 03, 2011

I've reached a "Bing" Milestone

When you search the words: "Hottest guys in the NHL" on Bing.com, my site doesn't only come up FIRST, but also SECOND.

Pretty amazing for lil old me! :)

Give it a try HERE. Yayyyy!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

The Year in Blogs

2010 has come and gone... with some impressive stats for my blog. Well, impressive for me, that is.

This year people viewed 36,972 pages.
There were 25,083 unique visitors.
And 1,218 returning visitors.

Every year I seem to be doubling my stats, in all but the returning visitors category... Meaning that more and more people are coming to my blog once and checking out the hot hockey players, but not as many are faithful readers.

And I think I know why... because I'm bullshit at updating my blog.

So, my New Years Resolution is to do at least one REAL posting a week. Hopefully people will see I'm making an effort and stop by a little more often :)

If you have any ideas of what you'd like to see on here just let me know. That's where some of my best ones come from!

Lots of love and all the best in the New Year
- Danielle