Thursday, July 29, 2010
He took me into a park that was his old hangout, and had his arms around me and was telling me how he liked me. It would have been the perfect makeout spot, but I wasn't really feeling it. I agreed to come over to his place for Easter dinner.
He took me home and kissed me again. It was the same as last time. I tried to kind of get it going a little, but no luck. When he pulled away he says: "You're a really light kisser." WHAT? I was kind of stunned for a minute. "Um, I was just thinking the same thing about you," I stammered. "Well, I hope that's not a bad thing," he replied. "Um, no, um, of course not." I lied. How do you tell a 25-year-old they're no good with their lips? Then I went inside. I had no idea what the problem was; we were two people in our mid-twenties, and we just couldn't have a good kiss. Maybe it was just lack of chemistry, I don't know.
For Thanksgiving I made an awesome salad, then headed out to his new place in Burnaby for some potluck. Here are where the signs that I didn't like him (as much as I was trying) really started to come out:
1. I sat on an ottoman by myself so he couldn't try to cuddle me.
2. I found myself being attracted to one of his friends. This friend is a major player (exactly the type of guy I'm trying to stay away from) but I couldn't help it.
We ate dinner, then sat around and talked. At this point Nice Boy grabbed his guitar, and sat away from everyone playing it and singing to himself. This was the last straw for me. I mean, it was just weird. Before I left he was trying to cuddle up to me and put his arm around me and I pulled away.
I never heard from him again. I think at the end of the night when I ran away with a hug and no kiss he kind of got the hint. It's sort of sad, because I honestly would have liked to be friends with him, but after no call for a week or two I'm not going to call him being all "let's be friends now!" Too weird. So I just left it at that.
A few weeks later I noticed that my cousin was a mutual friend on Facebook. She told me that he actually dated one of her friends years ago... and it was a weird situation too. Maybe I dodged a bullet.
Sometimes I get some that are especially interesting:
"How to pull off the girlfriend switcheroo"
"Why are all the hottest guys white?"
"Natures love potion"
"Brendan Shanahan dating Carrie Underwood" (Um, nope, married to Mike Fischer.)
"stigmatism" OR "astigmatism" OR "nearsighted" OR "shortsighted" OR "sighted" OR "glasses" OR "contacts" (Wow, this person does their research!)
"What to wear to my first East Indian wedding"
"hockey player hot mullets"
"Mike Cammalleri shirtless" (Fairly common)
"Photobomb" + "Neck Brace"
"meeting hockey players" (One word: Roxy)
"single white female vanilla" (I prefer the term "cracker")
"blow job in single white female movie"
"indian dot on my forehead"
"take my flower" (Are you cute? I'll think about it.)
"virtue moir" (I don't even know what this means, so no idea how it linked to me)
Keep up the good work, random Googlers. You make me smile! :)
We went out again a few days later. Since I'd made him plan the last date, this time it was my turn. We headed out Castly Fun Park in Abbotsford to play some mini golf, boozed up slushies and all. It was a lot of fun. We were laughing, and joking, and cheating a little. Then we went back to his place to play a little pool. (He lives in a house with his dad and brother, so the dining room was turned into a TV room, and the pool table was in the living room area.) He also started teaching me how to play guitar. It is not easy. For those of you who have never tried, you have to hold down the strings really hard, and it hurts your finger. I was doing ok though.
He drove me home, and this time I did get a kiss... but it wasn't quite what I expected. It was sort of... soft. Not that I like my face to be ravaged when I'm kissed, soft is better than completely rough, but it was like kissing a pillow. Put a little bit of tension into those lips! The problem is, how do you "teach" someone to kiss, when they aren't exactly a teenager anymore? Hmmm.
I arrived at dinner, and there was a big group waiting for me, with huge bouquets of flowers... my fave! It was mostly my coupled-up friends, and co-workers. We ate at Galini Greek Kouzina, and as always the food was fantastic. As was the booze, obviously. I ate, drank, and circulated around the table, talking to everyone.
After dinner we left and headed to my house for a little pre-drinking before the bowling alley. (Not liscenced? What?) This is when my second shift of friends showed up, with more flowers, and Van Gogh Vodka minis. Mmm. Honestly, with the amount of flowers I had on the table one of my friends mentioned that it looked like a funeral. Lovely.
Time got away from us and the bowling alley phoned, asking where we were. Coincidentally I'd just found out that my friend's aunt and uncle own the alley, and it was his cousin working, so he sorted everything out... aaaannnddd got us FREE bowling!
We arrived at the bowling alley, donned some fake moustaches from the loonie machine at the door, and got to playing. It was "disco bowling" at that time of night, so the disco ball was going, and the old-school 90's music was playing. I had a blast. Even though I was by FAR the worst bowler there. We'll just blame it on my being loaded, but really, I'd have sucked that bad anyways.
The cute guy I'd met at work the week before wasn't able to come, because his brother had randomly showed up from out of town, but we made plans to hang out later in the week.
After the bowling alley, I don't even remember what happened. Part of my brain is telling me I went to Gabby's... part of my brain is telling me I just went home. If anyone wants to fill me in, that would be great!
All in all, it was an amazing bday, and I want to thank all my friends that came out and made it a wonderful night!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I worked the Tuesday at one of my other offices, where they DO care. I got a card, ON TIME, and also a cake.I had left at lunch because I had a cancellation, and came back to the surprisecake, but it was too late to cut it then, so we decided to have the cake near the end of the work day.
Fast forward to the end of the day, and I was walking my patient out. There was a surprise waiting for me at the front: a cute boy under the receptionist's desk, trying to fix the computer for her. After chatting for a bit I invited him back to have cake with us for all his efforts.
He came back and ate cake as well as he could, as he'd just gotten a filling done and was super frozen still. Poor guy.
We all got to talking, and I mentioned that he should come out for my birthday that weekend, because we were going bowling, and who doesn't like bowling?
After talking for a bit more, everyone else had to get back to work and it was just met and him... and he asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him, while being super nervous and saying dumb things. He actually wanted to come out bowling! I was stoked! He also kept texting me over the next couple days, and things seemed to be going well, so far!
Monday, July 19, 2010
The skytrain and the downtown core were PACKED. The guy was trying to be a gentleman, and kept putting his hand on my lower back to guide me through the crowd, but again, it sort of skeeved me out. I don't mind being touched by someone I know, or someone I'm crushing on, but I wasn't really feeling him, so it bothered me. I wanted to yell "personal bubble please!"
Once we were down there we wandered around for a while, and he wanted to take me to a fancy seafood restaurant that was right on the waterfront. The only problem was he didn't know where it was since he couldn't remember the name. I started asking random Vancouverites for help, and we eventually located it.
The place was packed, so we took a seat at the bar. Strangely enough, I'm 99% sure I had gone on a date with one of the bartenders a year or so before that. I kept staring at him trying to figure it out. He probably didn't remember me and thought I was a weirdo. We ordered a couple drinks, and then ate our meal at the bar.
Because of the fact there were two bartenders working together behind the bar, there was a miscommunication about who was bringing us our bill, so it took a little longer than it should have. So what did my date do? YELLED out "Excuse me, can we get out bill?" I mean, it was LOUD! I shushed him and was like "You can't yell at the waiter!" to which he assured me that he wasn't yelling, only talking loudly. Riiiight. Well let me tell you, as someone who's slaved through work in a restaurant the last thing you need is some customer reaming you out for a simple mistake.
We got our bill, and my date went to pay at the front. He came back a minute later telling me that the debit was down, so we'd have to stick around a while until it came up. "Well how long has it been out for?" I asked him. The answer was 3 hours. Well, I wasn't about to stick around in the off chance the computer came back online. I suggested he walk to an ATM and take out cash. He agreed, and wanted me to come with him. I figured I better stay there so they didn't think we were dining and dashing. A little while later he was back saying that the ATM wasn't working either. Damn him and his stupid not bringing his VISA card. We pooled together what we had for cash, which luckily was enough to cover the bill. I wasn't too happy about having to pay. It's not that I mind paying for myself, but I expect a man to pay on the first date. Also, if I knew I was paying I wouldn't have gone to the fancy, expensive restaurant he'd suggested.
After we left we decided to head to Sochi house. I wanted to take a look in the gift shop at the Team Russia jackets, with the red and white. After standing in line for 10 or so minutes we discovered that it was closed for a private function. I walked to the front of the line to find out if I could just take a peek into the shop, and was stopped by two grim-looking Russian security guards. They blocked me out like I was a terrorist or something, instead of a 5'6" blonde girl. I couldn't even take a look, so we left.
He wanted to hang out more, but I couldn't take it any longer. We got on the Skytrain and headed home. Needless to say, there was no date number 2.
8 looong years later it was here! I got tickets online for two events: the opening ceremony and ice dance.
The day of the opening ceremonies I met up with my friend Genevieve who was coming with me, and a few other friends who were heading down to enjoy the atmosphere. We drove to Surrey, then stopped at DQ to get some slushies. Note: never do this... they're gross. We also bought some mini bottles of Vodka to cheer them up a little.
The ride down wasn't as crowded as I would have thought, but we were short on time so we immediately headed to GM Place (Ahem... Canada Hockey Place.)
Once inside we were stunned... everything was lit up a lightish blue colour. There were huge Olympic rings, and a large mountain/slide set-up.
On our seats were octagonal drum-shaped kits that we'd use during the ceremony. They included a poncho, flashlight with coloured film, plastic candle and drum stick.
The pre-ceremony where they taught us how to use everything and got us ready for the performance was hosted by Tamara Taggert and Ben Mulroney.
The ceremonies started with a countdown. I knew I was going to be yelling out "4"... so I texted my parents to let them know where to look for me. Upon telling my dad "I'm a 4" he replied back with "If you got your boobs done you'd be a 10." Oh Dad!
The ceremonies were pretty good. The "I am Canadian" speech was amazing, as was kd Lang singing "Hallelujah." I mentioned to my friend that the song made me think of "The OC," and she said it reminded her of "Shrek." She also (being from Quebec) didn't recognized who kd lang was, and remarked that the singer had a high pitched voice for a man.
The longest part was when all the countries did their walk around the oval. When you're watching on tv you get tidbits of information, like how many athletes are competing, and who's carrying the flag, but you don't get that watching live. When Canada came out the crowd went WILD! There were so many athletes competing for us; it was amazing!
I could have done without the long speeches, and everything being said in French first... but the amazing graphics of the whales spouting water, and punky fiddle playing made up for it.
And who can forget... the arm of the cauldrom that just wouldn't come up! First three little squares opened up in the floor, and we knew something was happening. The three arms started to come up, and it became apparent to us that something was wrong... especially when the music started re-playing. But, as good Canadians we made do, and turned it into a lot of fun at the Closing Ceremonies.
I'm truly happy and proud I got to see something like this in my lifetime.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Friday, July 02, 2010
A “Vancouver Series” Clearview Introduction
The blooming time is late spring and again in early autumn
Sun, part shade, container cut
I was standing out front of a friend's house where we had a large cancer fundraiser. For the occasion a friend and I got gotten tank tops made up with "Fuck Cancer" on the front.
While we were waiting for a cab a guy walked up to me and said: "Eww... I wouldn't want to fuck cancer."
"I'd rather fuck cancer than AIDS," I retorted.
"Why," he said, "You can cure AIDS, you can't cure cancer."
The worst part was that my friend agreed... And they thought that there was some big, government cover-up and all the rich people were being cured of AIDS.
Well guess what... if there was a cure for AIDS we'd know. I'm not saying that because I'm a glass-half-full kind of person, I'm saying it because if there was a cure the pharmaceutical companies would be making FAT cash off of it.
If you don't believe me, go around riding bareback. I dare you.
There are still cons about contacts: it hurts SO much more to get something in your eye (I would never drive with the windows down if my hair wasn't in a pontyail), they could be irritating, get stuck, and could rip easily.
As I grew older my eyes got gradually worse and worse. At one point they were deteriorating so badly I had to go back to the optometrist within 6 months because I had noticed a difference.
Around age 25 my eyes seemed to be slowing down, so at the end of December, when I was at the dye doctor, I asked for a consultation to get laser eye surgery. The eye doctor recommended Dr. Blaylock at the Valley Laser Eye Centre in Abbotsford. Both my parents had their surgeries done by him and were happy with the result.
Now let me say something: I HATE eyeballs. They are gross. I can't look when someone pulls down their eyelids, and it disgusts me when they show anything to do with eyes on tv or in movies (think pencil through the eye, thanks Grey's Anatomy.) The only reason I could put in my own contacts was because of my own vanity, and I would do it looking away from the mirror. Having surgery on my eyeballs absolutely scared the crap out of me.
At my first consult I found out that my eyes were worse than I originally thought: they were between -8.00 to -9.00. They were too bad for regular Lasik, so the nurse told me I'd probably need Intra-Lazik, or I-Lasik, which is similar to Lasik in healing time, but cut-free. I also had to have some yellow drops that numb your eyeball to check for glaucoma. At this point I literally began to feel faint and had to sit back and ask the nurse for a glass of water.
At my next pre-surgery appointment I had to have the eyedrops that make your eyes dilate. It was such a weird sensation. The brightness didn't really bother me, but I could see things farther away better than close up. It was like being an old person. I was sitting in the chair waiting for my dopctor, having to hold my magazine at arm's length to try to read it.
When I finally met Dr Blaylock he told me that due to my bad eyesight that Intra-Lasik wasn't even an option, and I might have to consider lens replacement. I almost started to cry. To me that's major, a "real" surgery. He then said that I could do PRK, but just barely. PRK is also a no-touch surgery, but it's a little more invasive than I-Lasik. It goes in and actually re-shapes the cornea of the eye, so it's a more painful, slower heal. However because it's no-cut it's better later on if you play sports etc... because you won't get hit in the face and have a piece of your eye come off. Lovely.
The day of the surgery in early February, I was a bit of a wreck. My blood pressure was way up. Thank God they eventually sat me down and gave me an Attivan. (They wouldn't give me anything stronger, believe me, I asked.) The whole office is super organized, people are in and out of the surgery room like a factory line.They wiped down my face with iodine and gave me some numbing drops.
Once I got into the operatory I laid down on the chair of the machine, which was actually really comfy, and the covered one eye with a cardboard mask. They did one eye at a time, and it was about 2-3 minutes an eye.
The first thing they did is clamp my eyelid open so I couldn't blink. (Not that I didn't keep trying.) Then they scraped off the outer layer of my eye. What they use to do it looks like a mini-fan that you see people with at ball games. Then they started up the laser. They told me to look directly at it. This was the best part. It didn't hurt, I just saw some lights and then a bit of a shadow. There was the smell of burning hair in the room, which they told me was the machine. Bullshit! Now I know what a burning eyeball smells like. When that part was over they washed my eyes with water. Not fun. Pretty much it was laser, rinse repeat ;) Then they put on some protective bandage-contact lenses to help heal the eye.
Dr Blaylock was really reassuring through the whole thing. He kept telling me to keep my eye still and stare at the middle of the laser and that I was doing great.
Ten or so minutes later I walked out of the operatory and I could see... kind of! I could read the clock, but it was still kind of blury.
That night my eyes were sore, so I took a Tylenol 3 and went to bed. I was thinking that it wasn't too bad, but the next night my eyes were crazy sensitive to light and it killed just to have them open. I sat in the dark by myself, listening to a movie.
A few days later I had to go back in to get the bandage-contacts off, which was a relief. With the PRK surgery it's more of a gradual increase in sight, but I was seeing things I hadn't for years without glasses... like my clock radio beside my bed.
As of now my vision is 20/20. Amazing, I know. When I look at a bright light I get a bit of a "starshine" going on, and this is due to a bit of astigmatism caused by the swelling from the surgery. This too is beginning to decrease as time goes by. In a few weeks I'm due for my 9 month check-up where we'll decide whether there's still enough astigmatism for a touch-up surgery of if we can leave it be.
Please, please let us leave it be! I'm 100% glad I had the surgery, but it's a once in a lifetime thing, not a twice.
There were a couple weird things though: 1. He wouldn't talk to me on the phone, only though Blackberry Messenger, and 2. He wouldn't tell me his last name (due to his job.)
We hung out a few more times, and he asked me to stay over and cuddle (no funny stuff) almost right away. He even let me know where his key was and I'd go walk his dog for him while he was at work. It almost seemed like we just popped into having a bf/gf type relationship right away.
One night we were sitting on the couch, about to go to bed, and he was checking on his hockey pool online. As he closed the window his MSN login popped up, with his email that contained his last name. I pointed at it and said "Oooh" then we went to bed.
While talking a few days later I made a joke about how he's not as mysterious anymore since I know his last name now. He was like "What?" and I told him how I had seen it over his shoulder when he was on the computer. He then called me a liar and accused me of sneaking through his stuff while he was out. He then "broke up" with me, as much as you can break up with someone that you aren't even exclusive with. He also said that I had said a few things to "scare him" but wouldn't give me any details. Ummm... you were the one that kept asking me to stay over, and you were the one that asks me to walk your dog... but I'M scaring YOU?
We decided to be friends. My other friend the "love guru" said that BJ knew that I'd seen the MSN over his shoulder, but wouldn't admit it, because then he'd be wrong and lose all his power. I found that one an interesting possibility.
A few days later BJ asked me to come over and watch a movie. I went over with my best "we're just friends" attitude and sat on the other side of the couch. Almost immediately he pulled me in to cuddle. Ok, I thought... what's going on here? While I was standing in the kitchen he even swatted me on the bum... and after the movie asked if I was gonna stay over. Thoroughly confused, I went home alone.
Our relationship continued this way. We were just friends, but very flirty, and I'd stay over at his house a few nights a week to cuddle.
I'd ask him to do other things, go for lunch or dinner or coffee, but he always claimed to be too broke, even though half the time when we were talking he was out with his friends or father, drinking.
Now, you may be thinking "BOOTY CALL!" And I'd agree, except for one thing... I was getting NO booty! Nothing, Nada! And it was driving me crazy. Sleeping in a bed half naked next to an attractive guy is hard. And not only did he not try anything, I was DENIED. I mean, I've denied plenty of guys sex in my day, but I can't think of a time that I never didn't get it when I wanted it.
So NOW you may be thinking "GAY GAY GAY" And I'd agree, except for one other thing, he'd want me to go down on him. But did he want to reciprocate?... Nope!
We had a few conversations about his. At first he claimed he was too tired for sex (but not too tired for a gummer?) Then he claimed that due to his being a Christian he wanted to wait for marriage, despite the fact that he's not a virgin. "So blow jobs are ok, but sex isn't?" I asked him... "Nope, neither." He replied. I was so, so, so confused. I just gave up on it. Cuddling was all he was going to get.
A few weeks later he decided to move. That morning we met up for a bit, and what do you know... BJ wanted a BJ. But this time he was ready to negotiate... If I gave him one now, he said he'd meet up with me later so we could FINALLY do it. Thoroughly sexually frustrated, I agreed. I also took his dog from him to babysit for a few hours while he moved. And what do I get in return? A message hours later that we had no place to go, he'd already given the key back to the landlord, and was drunk at the pub. Could I bring his dog there? Because he was too drunk to drive. I was livid.
He moved to the next town and would message me occasionally. We still talk every so often, and even hung out the other weekend. I know it will never go anywhere though.
After all of this, when he moved away and I had time to think about it, I can't believe I let myself be used so much. I was always available to help him out, but got nothing in return. He never even took me for the lunch he promised me for walking his dog so often. When we talk now I finally stand up for myself, and call him out when he's being an asshole. He just thinks I got meaner.
At least I've learned something: never date a guy that doesn't treat you well, no matter how hot he is. I'll never again lose who I am to fit in with what a man wants.