Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Jason Bateman has "Arrested" My Heart

Recently my sister and her husband lent me the DVDs of the sitcom "Arrested Development." At first I didn't think I would like it, but that shit is damn funny. Weirdly funny, yet funny.

I also realized something else: I have a crush on Jason Bateman. Like I would totally make out with him. Maybe a little grinding on the couch too. Keep things interesting.

I was wondering how old he was, so I looked him up on Wikipedia. Well, he was born in 1969. Yep, kinda old. Not older than me enough for it to be sickening, but just enough that people would gossip when they saw a couple our ages together.

Then I realized something else. It's 2010 now, but Arrested Development came out in 2003. I don't have a crush on modern-day Jason, I have a crush on 7-years-ago Jason! So instead of him being 41, he's really 34 there.

So let's look up what he looks like nowadays:


Hmmm pretty good, a few more wrinkles but it adds character, right? Let's see another:


Red hair? Ew!
Let's try a picture of Jason a few years ago, circa "Juno":


Nope, not hot. Hitting on pregnant teenagers is just too creepy.
Let's look up 2003:


Totally a dateable age! Meow! What I need is a time machine!

Maybe not!

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