Thursday, December 30, 2010

7 Billion

Interesting video on the world's population... I love this stuff!

Or see it without the ad here:

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Italian Job, Finito

The conversation (AHEM, I mean BBM chat) about what to do with our plane tickets wasn't too fun. I had offered to still go on a trip together as friends, but apparently he wasn't ok with separate bedrooms.

I mentioned to him that if we didn't go that I wasn't too stoked to lose $260. He replied that he wasn't too stoked to have spent all that money on dinners if we were just going to be "friends." Lovely. I answered that taking digs wasn't really being productive, so let's just deal with this.

We decided that he would try and get a friend to come with him, and the friend could just pay me. I phoned and talked to someone at the airline who assured me that if we paid the $100 transfer fee that the friend could take my ticket, no other charges or problems.

I'd mentioned to Italian guy that I thought it was fair that since I was willing to go on the trip, and he wasn't willing to bring me that we split the cancellation fee down the middle. Apparently he didn't think it was fair at all, because he'd already spent enough money.

When he called to change the flight to his friend's name we ran into a problem. The airline wanted his friend to pay the new price of the tickets, which had gone way up, not what we'd originally paid for them. And since the new price was too high they weren't even gonna go, so I'd have to pay the cancellation fee and take a credit.

I called back and talked to a manage and a half hour later had the whole thing straightened out.  The rep I'd initially talked to should never have told me that there were no extra fees to change the seats. I was proud of myself. I stayed super calm, and was nice and used big girl words like "unimpressed" and "misinformed."

When I told Italian Guy that everyting was smoothed out, he could still go on the trip with his friend he ws super happy. Then I told him that since I'd pretty much saved his trip I was wondering if he'd reconsider halving that cancellation fee. He didn't reply.

Later that day he sent me an email money order for the cash I was owed Oh, and he added $20 bucks towards the $100 cancellation fee. Wow, thanks a lot!

Maybe I missed out on dating a big baby. I'm starting to feel like you never know someone's true personality until they don't get what they want. That's when the real demons come out. Oh well, back on the prowl.

The Italian Job, Part Quattro

I decided to give Italian guy a couple more tries after we'd had the talk and he'd gone to see his dentist. However, I think because of the breath thing I was just getting turned off and everything he did was starting to annoy me:

1. Someone got a scratch on his car when we were parked at a restaurant and I swear he had a temper tantrum. It's a car, not a baby. You'll be ok.

2. Too skinny. I could put my arm around him and it was like the same as if I'd put my arm around myself. I even asked him if he was going to the gym to get built up a bit and he was like "Well I don't wanna get TOO big." HA! I mentioned that I could probably squat more than him and he answered "Oh, for sure!" At least we agreed!

3. He came over and we went to eat at a southern restaurant I'd been wanting to try, where he ate his ribs with a fork and a knife. This may seem normal to some people... but I'm not fancy like that. If I can eat any food with my hands I will. If I'm at home alone I'll even eat asparagas with my fingers. Plus it's ribs! This is as bad as when I witnessed a co-worker eating french fries with cutlery, cutting pieces off and dipping them individually in ketchup.

4. He's never tried macaroni and cheese. Not homemade, not KD. And he WON'T try it. Like a stubborn toddler.

After the last time I'd seen him he BBM'd me saying "I'm getting the feeling you're just not that into this." So, what did we do? Breakup via BBM. At least with the breath talk I'd had the guys to CALL him and talk about it. I said we could still be friends, he didn't want to. And that was that.

Oh wait, no it wasn't... we still needed to decide what to do with our upcoming trip!

The Italian Job, Part Tre

I continued to date Itlian guy for a while, but I'd started to notice something. A smell situation.

At first I didn't know if it was his breath, or just his "personal smell" (Ahem... remember Sad Fireman, this is huge for me!) but there was definitely something going on... And it was starting to skeeve me out.

I needed to play detective and find out where the smell was coming from. So, the next time we said goodbye I went in for a long hug where I could do a nice, drawn-out, creepy sniff ... and it was all good. Then, a small kiss... ding, ding, ding! Jackpot!

As someone who's in the dental profession this is a huge deal for me. I decided I needed to tell him, because if he has some sort of gum disease he needs to know. Also, I liked him, and if this relatinship was going to progress we needed to fix this problem. As well, we'd decided to book a trip down south to his rental property, and I wanted this sorted out before then.

I called him up and told him, and it was pretty much the most awkward thing ever. He ended up thanking me for telling him, and booked an appointment with his dentist. I told him that I thought he deserved to be told so he could do something about it, before I just fully pulled away from him. Especially since we were booked to go away together.

Turns out his dentist says everything is fine and he has excellent dental health. Uh oh! What to do now?

The Lion King Musical

Naaaaaaants ingonyama bagithi Baba!!

This July I went to see the Lion King musical with my mom, aunt and friend Nick. We met up for some drinks and food first at the Shark Club and then headed over to the Queen E.

 At the beginning of the show all the animals walk in from the back for when they first present Simba, and I was sitting there with a wide-mouthed grin like a 4-year-old. There was even a huge elephant with a little kid elephant holding its tail. So cute!

The costumes were amazing... the actors were dressed up as everything from zebras, to antelope, to tall grass.

The music was obviously good... especially when you know all the words to the songs... except they threw in a few new songs in for filler. Bullshit! I was joking with Nick that maybe Elton John would pop out for a surprise performance, to which he replied that he wanted him to do: "Saturday, saturday, saturday!"

The show was actually funnier than I thought it was going to be, too. Good ol' Zazu.

This show gets two lion paws up from me, and is definitely worth the money if it comes back to Vancouver!

Italian Job Continued - Jeans, Jeans, Jeans

For date number three we decided to head downtown for some shopping and dinner. We headed to the Guess store because I wanted a new pair of jeans. My aboslute favourite jeans were Guess and I wanted to find the closest I could to them. I even wrote down all the info to bring with me.

The jeans I wore all the time were size 27, and I decided to grab some 27's and 28's to try on. The staff members were telling that their sizing was skewed so I should actually be grabbing 26's and 27's instead. I was dubious, but agreed.

It was kind of awesome. There were like 3 staff members that kept grabbing different pairs and coming up to me asking if I wanted to try them... so I just kept throwing more on the pile.

They also kept trying to convince me to try on some skinny jeans. Ummm... most of you have seem my bum. Let's face it, I'm bottom heavy. I would look like an upside down triangle. I even told her this. She tells me that Beyonce wears them and she's the same way. So I grabbed one pair to appease her.

I went back to the changeroom and started the process. I grabbed a size 26 first... it could barely come up past my knees. So I grabbed a 27... it could barely go higher. I had a 28 in the pile... which I got on, but it was tight. This was the most embarassing thing ever. I had a huge pile, and had to ask them to get my bigger sizes in everything.

When it came down to it the 28's and 29's were what fit me. I was feeling like a fat loser who thinks she's skinny but isn't. It also didn't help that a guy that I JUST started seeing is witnessing the whole event. Oh, and I tried on the skinny jeans. He told me I looked like an exclaimation mark. It ws funny because it was true. I ended up buying 2 pairs.

After this debaucle we headed to Below the Belt where I saw some Mavi's that seemed like they might fit. Low and behold... they did, AND they were size 27. I felt redeemed! I'm NOT a fatass! Well, I do have a fat ASS, but not my whole body in general. Whew! Apparently the people at the Guess store were right when they said their sizes were skewed, just in the OPPOSITE way of what they'd told me!

Again, I bought 2 pairs, so I had to head back to Guess to return one of the originals. I was getting the stink eye from everyone. It was horrible.

Once I got home I realized that the Mavi's came up a little higher in the waist than I was used to... not mom-jeans high, but more than I'd like. I guess that will teach me to try them on wearing a dress on top pulled up instead of a shirt.

In the end I had 3 pairs of jeans that I like, but not love. I never did find a pair to replace my worn-out favourite pair. I still have some work to do.

The Italian Job Part Uno

In July I met a guy.(Ooh I made a rhyme.) An Italian guy. We got together for coffee and things went really well. First of all he had no problem driving out to see me from Burnaby, which is a plus. We sat in the sun at Starbucks and chatted.

It wasn't one of those job-interview-type first dates... we just talked about our families and friends and things we had in common. Joked around a lot. (Best thing we talked about: His friend has a book where he writes down info about all the girls he sleeps with. I'm not just talking a list of names... but the names, how many times they did it, when, where etc...)

This guy is tall (yes!), a little skinnier than I ususally go for, but a cute face and he seemed really sweet. He lives at home, but owns a rental property, is going to school, and has a not-bad job.

For our next date we'd planned to grab some dinner and watch a movie... but then my girlfriend called me with some free tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert. It killed me... but I said no, because I didn't want to ditch the guy. When I told him I'd given up tickets to see him he had no problem telling me I could go, but I kept true to my original plans. When he got to my house he handed me a blank DVD and told me to put it in. He'd downloaded a whole BSB concert and burned it for me. It was the perfect idea. I love little things like that, that don't cost a lot of money, but show someone is thinking of you. Major cudos.

That was the first night we kissed. It was nice but nothing amazing. (His breath wasn't the gretest, but it happens.)

Monday, November 29, 2010

Soo Sweet!

I know this sounds corny, but this video turned my crappy day into a smile. Enjoy.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dental Hygenists - The Ugly Truth

Wow. I have come across the BEST rant about dental hygenists: Dental Hygenists - The Ugly Truth.  (Oh, sorry, they claim it's "not" a rant.)

It's basically a person going off about how hygenists have barely any schooling, "A 7-year old can learn the same amount of information from reading a Sesame Street book on dental hygiene," but act like they know everything because they have big egos. Hygenists clearly don't claim to have as much schooling as doctors, but depending on the state/province we have 2-3 years of schooling that involves microbiology, pharmacology, radiography, and local anaesthesia to name a few.

Then the person starts talking about getting conflicting information on how stiff or soft their gums are. Well, sorry to tell them, at least in Canada there isn't a "gum stiffness" score. The measurements we do on gums are the amount of recession and probing depths, to determine whether or not they have gum disease, what kind and to what severity.

I understand that people don't like to be lectured, and some hygenists probably go about it the wrong way, but personally, when I teach my patients the best way to brush and floss it's because I want them to have healthy gums in able to keep their teeth as long as possible, ideally for life. If I do it, it's because there are visible signs in their mouth, either large amounts of plaque that aren't getting brushed or flossed away, or swollen, bleeding gums. And actually, NO, the majority of the population don't know how to brush their teeth properly, or haven't been taught yet, or I wouldn't try to help. Getting defensive isn't going to heal your gums.

Perhaps other hygenists bluff answers to your questions, but I encourage my patients to ask questions, and if I don't have the answer I'll ask the dentist and find out for them. Sometimes there isn't an exact answer to give, so I'll give one or two explainations for a problem.

I agree that a trip to the dentist should be a pleasant experience. And we do aim for it to be as painless as possible. If it hurts to get your teeth cleaned it's probably because there has been plaque sitting on the gums causing inflammation. And these inflammed gums are more prone to bleeding. The cleaner your teeth are the less it will hurt next time. This is another reason I like to demonstrate brushing/flossing technique... So cleanings are more comfortable to the patient. (And for severe cases we do offer freezing. )

It does help to be a "people person" as a hygenist... and I try to bond with the patient as well as possible, learn their individual needs, and address them. I'm always telling my clients that this is a team effort, I'll clean their teeth when they come in, answer any questions, keep them posted how their gums are doing, and show them how to clean them at home the best way possible. Then it's up to the patient what they want to do with the info.

If you feel you are being treated badly to your hygenist say something. And never be afraid to ask questions.

Another Dental Rant!

I'd also like to address another rant I found linked to this one: Why I Hate the Dentist.

They address the fact that there are always new hygenists when they go in. Unfortunately this isn't neccessarily the hygenists' fault. It's a bad market for us right now, and it's hard to find a full-time job. Most hygenists I know would like to find an office that treats them well and gives them full time. If they found this they'd have no problem working and seeing the same patients all the time. We prefer to get to know patients so we can really work with you to get your teeth and gums into the best shape possible.

This person basically knows what they're talking about when it comes to brushing: "Here is the thing - you have to properly brush at your gum line to get rid of dental plaque, but if you brush too hard, and for too long, your gums may recede. If you don't brush enough, plaque will build up, and cause your gums to recede. It is one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't things."

I tell my clients all the time that it's a Catch-22; You need to brush the gumlines, but not too hard. Brushing too hard does cause recession which can increase tooth sensitivity. Not brushing enough or missing the gumlines won't cause recession, but gum disease, which causes gum sensitivity. It does take practice.

Here is a basic idea: brushing should take about 2 minutes. To avoid brushing too hard try holding the toothbrush between your thumb and 2 fingers only. Place the toothbrush right along the gumline at a 45 degree angle into the gums. For about 10 seconds do small, light circles along the gums, and then sweep the plaque away. If you are using an electric toothbrush all you need to do is place the brush head on your tooth surface along the gums, and then angle in/out of the "cracks" between teeth. You only need a light touch, as the toothbrush does the work for you.

And as for the fact that their dentist may have done a root canal to address a sensitivity issue... Most dentists will recommend some sort of sensitivity toothpaste first, and only do root canals in cases where decay is very deep to the nerve, there is severe pain, or an abcess/pus present visually in the mouth or on an x-ray. As for the filling/crown issue it's a problem of how much tooth structure is left in the tooth. If there is a very large filling in the tooth (more filling than actual tooth structure left) a crown will be suggested because at one point this tooth WILL crack. Yes, we do like to preserve as much tooth structure as possible, but a too-large filling isn't recommended. However, your dentist should work with you to address any money concerns (eg, can only afford a filling not a crown) and prioritize what needs to be done first. If you feel that your dentist is over-prescribing then get a new dentist, one that comes recommended by others.

If you feel you are being treated unfairly... say something. Hopefully your dentist/hygenist care enough to address your needs. If not, find some that do.

Friday, November 19, 2010

New Lizard Species Discovered... to be Delicious?

All you science geeks like myself should enjoy this one:

A new, all-female species of lizards (named Leiolepis ngovantrii) has been discovered by scientists in Vietnam.

All-female you ask? Well how does that one work? Well, the little babies are clones of their mothers, a not-unheard of trait in lizards, apparently.

A scientist at the Vietnam Academy of Science and Technology discovered the creatures while visiting a small village and asked a restaurant owner to keep them safe until he came back with two American colleges.

Well, what did the buffet owner do? Got drunk and fried them up for his customers!

Luckily, when they returned the locals, who had known about the lizards for years, helped the scientist wrangle up a few more.

For the full story visit CNN.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Monday, November 08, 2010

Pyatt Power

Another sports blog quoted me recently.

Ok, well this time I don't know if they actually quoted me or my blog, or just some other random girl named Danielle who also thinks that Taylor Pyatt is man-pretty.

"He's a good-looking guy," gushes Danielle. "He's got pretty-boy eyes."

It's definitely something I've said, or would say. If it's not me I need to meet this name-twin of mine.

Check it out: Canucks Fans Love Their Pretty Boys - NHL Fanhouse.
Oh and one more funny fact: According to another sports blog he's dating a girl named Danielle, who may or may not be the real one quoted above: Taylor Pyatt's Girlfriend - Talk Sports. This Danielle is quoted as being a "gold digger" with "long blonde hair and blue eyes" who apparently pretends to have a sibling when she doesn't. It's some pretty good lady drama if you take a look.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Making Changes

Hey Y'all! (Ok, it's super late and apparently I'm starting to sound like Britney Spears. Sorry about that. Wait, I just looked at the clock and it's only 10:21 so it's not late... but the switchback from daylight savings time just happened last night so REALLY it's 11:21. But standard time I guess is the REAL real time, so... I guess I'm just old.)

I wanted to say that if you hadn't noticed the blaring changes I finally updated my blog template! Hope you enjoy it.

I'm probably not done fiddling with it; I'll hopefully start a Facebook group and a Twitter account to get the word out a little more... Although, I'm not sure because I have this theory that people who Tweet are self-important ego-maniacs. But I already fit that category since I share the contents of my so-called "interesting" life wtih the masses. Might as well be as egotistical as possible, right!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

On a Serious Note

Everyone knows that my blog is usually lighthearted, funny and maybe slightly retarded. Not today.

I found out yesterday that a friend is seriously sick and in the hospital. He's more of an aquaintance to me, I've hung around with him a few times, but he's very close to some people that I care about. He's a super fun guy, and always willing to help out, and it makes me sad.

This is something one of my friends found and is posting around Facebook to keep everyone believing. I hope you enjoy it.

Stay strong Shaun. We're all pulling for you.

Monday, October 25, 2010


Heyooo to all that actually read my blog! (Aka my sister, her friends, Mo, and a few random friends of mine.)

I've noticed that barely anyone leaves me comments anymore... And it makes me sad. I want comments! I'm not fishing for compliments here. I don't mean you have to write and tell me how good my blog is. I already know (hah). But I LOVE to hear people's opinions on the subject at hand... love what I wrote or hate it.

I also take suggestions about what I should write about. Nicole told me I should blog about hot hockey players and that is by FAR my most visited page of all time. I promise not to hog all the glory.

That is all.

Thank you and enjoy your evening.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Golfing with Dreams Take Flight

As I was leaving work one sunny Friday afternoon my friend Elise texted me that she was in Langley working at a golf tournament and that I should come help her. We'd had so many fun times in the past volunteering at charity tournaments that I just had to come help.

I showed up to find that the tournament was for Dreams Take Flight, the organization I'd volunteered for selling beer at BC Place a few months prior.

The next surprise was that we were doing our old standard: "Chipping for Charity." You paid money for golf balls then had to chip them into a Vancouver 24 Hours newspaper bin. This game is fun because I get to use the best catch phrase ever: "You gotta get it up before you can get it in!" The only thing missing was the free Vodka we used to get when we volunteered for Sammy J's.

We worked for a few hours, and then it was time to take down the tents and have dinner. We didn't have dinner tickets, but her boss and his friend had to leave so we got theirs. The only thing better than food, is FREE food! The dinner was average... golf course food. But the speeches were super inspirational and made us cry.

Inside the clubhouse they were doing a silent auction, so I bid on, and won, a prize. It had a couple bottles of champagne, crystal water glasses, a rice cooker, sushi plates, and hand painted serving plates. So pretty much I'm all set up for when I eventually fly the coop from my parent's place. On the way out a guy gave me another prize: a car safety kit. I really made out well for a random Friday.

Jo-ho-ho and a Bottle of Rum

In July I met up with a boy for some brunch at Milestones (Mmm my fave). The morning went pretty well, we seemed to get along, he was kinda cute, lived in his own appartment, had a truck. He did say one thing I thought was weird though: he didn't have a passport... and, didn't plan on getting one... Because, why would anyone want to leave BC? As someone that loves to travel, and just randomly pop down to the states for a shopping day, I found this perplexing.

After brunch we decided to head out to Abby for some mini golf action. On the way he threw on some country music. Bold move. After talking for a bit more he dropped a bomb on me: "I grew up in a Jehovah's Witness household." Hmmm... grew up in, does that mean he got out of it? And then he mentioned that he's never celebrated a holiday. No Christmas, no birthdays, no Thanksgiving. He's been living away from home for years, so he'd definitely had a chance to do so if he wanted to. Soooo... guess he still IS a Joho. LOVELY.

Mini golf went ok. But, I was finding myself checking out the guy that was playing on the hole behind us. Probably not a good sign.

We left the date saying that we'd talk soon.

I never heard from him.

Untillllll.... a random text about a month later. It went something like: "Hey remember me, the guy you went out with. What's new?"

At this point I can only assume he'd met someone else he liked better, it didn't work out, and now he wants a chance with me.

I wrote back that it was random that he was texting me a month later. He wrote back something like: "Well I never heard from you either so I was scared to message you. Maybe we could grab a drink sometime?"

So I wrote: "Well you're the guy. And you message me after a month? Maybe next time don't be such a pussy."

And that was THAT.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Worst Song of ALL Time

AOL's Radio Blog recently released a list of the 1oo Worst Songs Ever

Some of them I have to agree with, such as:

Mambo Number 5
Butterfly by Crazytown
Lady In Red (Although Kristie loves this one)
Shaggy's It Wasn't Me
The always classic I Touch Myself
Will Smith's Wild Wild West
Achy Breaky Heart (PS - Thanks for unleashing you whore daughter on the world)

Some I love:

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
Breakfast at Tiffany's
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)
Everybody (Backstreet's Back)
Afternoon Delight (Hell-o, Anchorman!)
The Spice Girl's classic, Wannabe

And some are guilty pleaseures:

Summer Girls by LFO,
Sometimes When We Touch by Dan Hill
I'll Be There For You -Friends Theme (So what if I clap along ever time?)
MMMBop (ba de ba dop ba do wop, do be op a do wop, beep ba dop a doo whoa whoa)

The song that was declared number one, and for good reasoning, was (It's Time to) Beat dat Beat by none other than the Jersey Shore's resident DJ: Pauly D. It features such gems of lyrical mastery as: "Being a guido's a way of life. I don't represent all Italians, I represent myself. I started this whole GTL's - Gym, Tan, Laundry. And... You have to stay fresh to dance."

Don't believe me how bad it is? Experience it for yourself:

AOL missed something, though. I came across a song while watching "Video on Trial" the other day that far, far surpasses the shittiness of all these songs. Perhaps even put together. You may have to shield your eyes, but please take a listen to the WORST song of all time, hands down, Sneaker Night by Vanessa Hudgens:

I'm sorry. So, so sorry.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


I read an article on a plane recently that made me laugh so much I almost peed me pants, and so loudly the whole plane was wondering what was going on. It was 100 Crazy, Dirty Sex Questions (Answeed in 20 Words or Less) in October's Cosmopolitan.

Some of the questions I actually found interesting, and some were so retarded I can't even handle that people would ask them. Please allow me to share some of the goodies, and my smart ass answers.

1. Could frequesnt shrinking-say due to cold water-cause a penis to become smaller permanantly? Really? REALLY?

8. Is there a suble way to spit out semen after oral sex? Run to the bathroom gagging. They LOVE that.

12. If you're pregnant can the man's penis hit the baby during sex? According to my hero, Carrie Bradshaw, that's where dimples come from.

18. Why is semen so gooey? So your pearl necklace lasts longer.

22. What's the smallest penis ever recorded? They said It's five-eighths of an inch. Poor, poor guy.

27. Is it ok to use an electric toothbrush as a vibrator? Damn, they said no. As a hygienist I could have made a fortune selling these as double-duty!

36. Is it life-threatening for a guy to blow air up your vadge while going down on you, or is that an urban legend? Ok, apparently this one is actually true, it could cause a fatal embolism. Although I have no idea why a guy would do that. They like queefs?

40. What happens if semen gets in my eye? Can I go blind? No, it just gives you magical x-ray vision.

42. He wants me to give his butt hole oral attention. Is that sanitary? That's where poo poo comes from. You tell me!

47. My guy and I have sex frequently, and he always comes inside me. Is it possible to have too much sperm in my vagina? Your mom told me, no.

57. I have braces on my teeth. Can I still go down on a guy? Have you seen the 14-year old whores around lately. Obvs the answer is YES!

67. My guy had a third nipple. Is it as sensitive as his other two? Now it's just getting weird.

83. My partner asked if he could ejaculate onto my face. Why would he want to do that? Lemme guess, you're the same one who asked about the cum in the eye?

94. Is it normal to cry after sex? If it's that bad, dump him darling!

Hope you enjoyed these gems just as much as I did!

Wedding in Harrison

The girlfriend whose stagette I went to recently in Jasper got married this summer. I brought my friend Nick, aka my go-to-date-guy as my, you guessed it, date, because I knew he would be a tonne of fun.

The morning started early when I picked the bride's friend and her fiance up from the airport in Abbotsford. The bride had thought they were getting in the day before and sent her dad to the airport to grab them... oops! So I stepped up to do the shuttle gig. We made a quick stop at Winners to grab a belt and a wedding card.

Once we got home we had some breakie, then had some time to chill so we played a few rounds of "Buzz" the quiz show game for Playstation. For those who have never played, it's crazy fun. Unless you suck, then it's no good. We got a little carried away, then had to rush to get dressed. We left super early to get out to Chilliwack on time, but as it was we were super early.

The wedding ceremony was short and sweet, and we headed out to Harrison Hot Springs where the reception was to be held, and started pre-drinking in our rooms.

A little later we headed down for the reception. It was definitely an interesting mix of people. The groom used to be into some not-so-wonderful things back in the day, and you could definitely tell whose side was whose. The bride's girls were kinda staight and narrow, but fun, while the other side consisted of guys whose occupation we'll define as "self-employed entrepreneurs" and their fake-boobed, short-dressed girlfriends.

The food was average... strangely enough the buffet had been set up in reverse order... entrees first, buns and salads last. The DJ was horrendous. He played way too many slow songs, and didn't even know who any of the artists were that we were requesting. He didn't even know Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married! I mean, come ON! She had told him we wanted to hear the tunes that were popular around 2003-2004 when we started clubbing, and he just was clueless.

Of course we made the wedding fun anyways. It's always great to see one of your friends happy and settled down... and the twixer of Vokda in our room didn't hurt either.

The next morning I woke up hangover free and let Nick convince me to take a ride on his Harley. I'm not a bike person at all, but I have to admit, it's nice. More street-bike looking than leather-clad guy with a beard. The only problem was it wasn't heavy enough to press the line that opens the garage door in the undergorund parking. We had to squeeze out behind someone else. And then I took a ride. One whole block. We went to sushi where the waitress offered me a fork. What a weekend.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Barber

I met another boy at work.

The other hygienist I worked with pointed him out to me in the waiting room and told me that she knows my next client and that he's cute. Never one to trust someone else's opinion of "cute" I took a look... and she was actually right.

I started cleaning his teeth and we had a good conversation going. He was telling me that he'd recently broken up with his girlfriend and we were totally flirting. I remember talking about how when there's chemistry you just know it, and oh was I feeling the chemistry.

As he left he sort of paused for a minute, looking like he was going to ask for my number, and then walked out. De-nied I thought.

Well, the other hygienist wasn't about to take no for an answer. The next night she texted him, saying that I thought I was cute. Then later on that night I got a text from him! He said that he'd wanted to ask me out, but didn't know if it was appropriate. He'd been golfing with his boys all afternoon and they'd kept ribbing him, saying if that he was too chicken to ask me out then they'd do it themselves.

We talked back and forth for a bit, and he seemed like a good guy. He was nice, he had his crap together (he actually owns a barbershop, which I thought was kinda cool).... and then he told me the truth: he wasn't exactly broken up with his (ex)girlfriend. They had broken up, but they still lived and worked together. At least that's what he said. Who knows what her opinion of the situation was.

I told him that we could hang out, but only as friends until he figured out exactly what was going on and we'd go from there. I met up with him at the Fox and Fiddle, and realized that the spark was kinda gone anyways. He kept saying things that I just found immature and annoying. He also kept making hints about me sleeping with him (I mean, I'm used to that from my guy friends, but not from men I barely know!) and wanting to hang out again. After a drink or two I left.

Strangely enough after the many times he said he wanted to hang out again I never heard from him. I think the two options of why he disappeared were: 1. went back to the (ex)girlfriend, or 2. he didn't get what he wanted (being in my pants) immediately so he gave up.

I'm NEVER dating a client again!

Birthday Randomness

A good friend of mine turned 30 recently so some friends and I met up downtown at a pub to surprise him. It was good times. My friend and I decided to drink Malibu and pineapple's for old times sake. You really forget how delicious the drinks you consumed in high school were!

After that the decision was made that we were going to go do some karaoke! Ummm... I've never quite been the singing in public kind. Maybe the singing super loud in my car with the music cranked and my windows up, but not where people can actually HEAR my voice.

We got to the karaoke place, which is a place called Fantacity downtown. I love this place. You actually get large, private rooms to do your singing in. The main bar area is decorated like you're on a patio in Mexico, all palm leaves and bamboo sides. Inside the rooms is a large screen and sound system, as well as a multicoloured-light disco ball and tambourines for banging along. There were two huge books of songs to choose from. (Some of them weren't in English. Korean?) The only downfall was that I wish there was a book of songs listed by the artist, so you didn't have to try to remember the exact song you wanted to sing.

We definitely had a good selection of performances: I belted out "Hot and Cold" as a duet with the birthday boy (who LOVES Katy Perry), we had some solid old-school U2, and even some Snoop Dogg from a very white girl.

I was just the right amount of drunk, and listened to just the right amount of shitty singing. It was a lovely night.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Eddie Izzard

I know what you're thinking: "Who the hell is Eddie Izzard." I asked myself the same thing when I agreed to go to his comedy show with a friend recently. Then I found out: he's a comedian that does his show in drag, and had a small part in Ocean's 11. Sounds... interesting.

We went for dinner first across the street at Library Square pub. I got a cajun chicken sandwich, which left more than a little to be desired. My friend ordered a beef dip, and the au jus was amazeballs. It even made my shitty-ass sammy a little better. We also got multiple shooters. It's what you have to do before a comedy show.

As we were leaving the restaurant we were about to enter the theatre when our waiter ran up to me with my VISA card. I was impressed. (And of course in my letter-writer nature wrote a thank-you email to his manager.)

The show wasn't bad. He wasn't in full drag, but he was wearing tight jeans and high heels. Just like me! It wasn't a typical comedy show. He pretty much went through time from the dark ages until the present making jokes all the way. It was what I'd refer to as an "intellectual comedy." Kind of like Jon Stewart... but not as funny.

Also impeding our enjoyment of the show was who were were surrounded by: a two-finger-whitstler, and an always-laughing. I was basically deaf in one ear from the guy beside me, and the lady beside my friend did NOT shut up. She laughed at EVERYTHING... Even the jokes that weren't funny... Even the parts that weren't really jokes. If she was on something, I wanted to be on that something too.

After the show we drove around randomly for a while, stopping at the corner store for some Artficial Grape Flavoured Aquafina (my fave... tastes like Bubble Tape), and then we took some pics in front of what I can only refer to as a giant, white, lit-up person? It was quite a night.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Beer Party Woot Woot

At the beginning of summer my friend invited me to a party at the Granville Island Brewing Company for the release of their Hefeweizen (Note to all: before Googling the spelling I went with "Heifeweissen" and I'm kinda proud of myself for being so close.) Not being one to pass up free alcohol, or places that straight men frequent, I quickly accepted her offer.

The party wasn't too bad: we got two free drink tickets, and by the time I arrived there was a little bit of leftover pizza. My friend and her other friends had arrived earlier and had their buzz on already.

I parked my ass on a stool beside a cute guy, and we started to chat. He's attending UBC, but his parents live out in Langley, near me. He started seeming like a good prospect, then I found out he's only twenty years old. Honestly Danielle, ALWAYS! He was still cute so I threw caution to the wind and gave him my number anyway. He told me to call me when I'm in the city (A typical "city person" things to say, may I add... And of course I can add it, it's my damn blog.)

The party ended early and I was still hungry so my friend and I walked across the street to Sammy J's for some appies. Mmm lobster rolls.

Then we had a little bit of an adventure. Seems that I have no idea where I'm going in Vancouver so we had some trouble finding my car. My friend knows the area well... so I told her that I walked through a little park and we needed to go in a generally leftish-straight direction to get back to my car. Seems pretty clear to me! She told me I had to be wrong. Turns out I actually was kind of right but at that point all we cared about was that my car had a working heater.

I didn't hear from the twenty-year-old, until months later, when he randomly texted me that he was going to Kelowna for the weekend and that I should come. Crazy kids thse days!

Martine's Stagette

I became close with my friend Martine in grade 12. We were chosen as 2 of only 3 seniors on the WJM Dance Team and bonded during summer practices before school started. Once September rolled around we did everything together... shopped, ate breadbowls at Tim Hortons, convinced grade 11 boys to drive our drunk asses to dances. Once we turned 19 the real fun began. We were BAR STARS! Hitting up The Ozone and staying up until the sun came up... oh, those were the days.

Later on Martine moved to Vancouver, and then with her boyfriend to Grande Prairie. I didn't see her very often, but our friendship survived. She's one of those friends I can randomly call after months, and we can jump right into a convo like we talked the day before. Even as she had children she didn't push me aside for her "mommy friends." We could have out, with her kids, and act like us, not like a mom and a single gal.

When I found out after many years, and two kids, Martine was getting married I was so happy for her. But first, we had the stagette!

Mistake #1 - I took the Greyhound. Never, ever do this. Unless you like watching crackheads make out, and sitting next to people with dreadlocks. If so, then go ahead.

But, after the bus ride from hell we arrived in Jasper, Alberta and the fun started.

We were staying at these log cabins about a half hour out of town (If you can call it a town, that is... More like Banff's older, yet less socially adept brother.)

We arrived to appy's champagne and games. I got to know Martine's friends from Alberta and Saskatchewan, and it was a great crew. Everyone got along and no one was snobby.

The champagne led to some hot tubbing, which lead to a drunken walk around the campsite, which led to smashed glasses (and some noise complaints, sorry!)

The next day we went ziplining. Unlike other ziplines, you don't just sit in a seat and go, the zip was on a sloped building atop a hill, and you'd get hooked up, then run and throw your ass over the edge of the roof. Scary, yet amazing! You'd fly like Superman until the end! It took a while for the crazy woodsman zipline guy to get us all organized, and we were starving by the time we hit up Earl's.

This is where I first tried Jeera Chicken Curry. For those who haven't, it's super yummy... and I don't want to know HOW many calories.

After our heartbeats stablized from the adrenaline and day drinking we headed to the hot springs to relax. It was nice, but there's only so much sitting in hot water with 50 people I don't know. The craziest thing was there were some Islamic people there, and the men were in bathing suits, and the women were fully covered head to toe in black fabric... IN the hot water! I don't know how that's relaxing.

That night we headed out for some dinner and clubbing. Let's just say that Jasper's party scene leaves a little to be desired. I expected it to be like Whistler, where the streets are bumpin' at night, but when we walked out of the restaurant it was dead as a graveyard. The club wasn't the best either, it reminded me of an old "valley club", a la "Club NV." There wasn't even ONE hot guy for me to make out with, and that had been my plan for the night. No fair! After that we attempted to sneak into the hot tub, but our plans were foiled by a plethora of bungee cords and bike locks.

The next day I endured another loooonnngggg-ass bus ride home. It was worth it though. I really hope to keep in touch with some of the girls I met to do this again. And I'm excited to see them at Martine's wedding!

Thursday, September 02, 2010


On May 12, 2010, I met the new love of my life: my niece, Leah Elise. (Rhyme unintentional.)

She arrived ten days late, after 4 days of labour... and she looked like a tiny, wrinkled, Asian man. My sister had made me promise before the baby came that if he/she wasn't cute (they didn't find out the sex) I would tell her, because obviously she would be biased. Well, I told her. It was ok, she agreed.

Leah was born with a full head of dark hair and piercing blue eyes. She also had one blonde streak going across her hair, a funny coincidence with Nicole being a hairdresser and all.

I spent all my time with this little muffin... I'd stop by most days when I worked in Abbotsford to see her... and we had a multitude of baby showers. Do you know what a 3 foot high stack of pink baby clothes looks like? I do!

She also started to get cuter once her ten-days-overdue-sittinging-in-whatever-kinda-juices wrinkles started to wear off. For the life of us though we could not get her to look cute in a picture, until Nicole's friend Justine came along. Justine took Leah's newborn pics, which were great. Take a look:

As Leah gets older she gets even cuter. She even started to do tricks... when you'd lie her on her back and play with her, *BOOM* she would kick you right in the boobs!

She had always had a strong neck, and now at just over 3 months she can almost sit up alone. She LOVES the pink bunny my parents brought home from New York for her, and shows it... by drooling all over it and then rubbing it all over her face. She also lets out adorable squeals of laughter occasionally, but only when she feels like it.

Here are a few of her 3-month pictures to take a look at. If anyone is interested they were taken by Justine Russo of Russo Photography.

As of right now I just can't wait for her next milestones: sitting up on her own, walking, pooping on my sister (oh wait, she's already done that!) I just can't believe how much you can love one teeny little person.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Nice Boy Continued

The next week we took his mom's dog out to Fort Langley for a walk, where we enjoyed some pizza and some lattes. We still got along well, but at this point I could tell he was starting to like me more, but I was starting to like him less. He was a super nice guy, just not for me. It kind of made it worse that I'd just met both of his parents, AND both his brothers. I decided to try and make it work, and try to make myself like him. I have decided at this point in my life that I need to find a NICE guy, and not a super good looking one that will screw me over.

He took me into a park that was his old hangout, and had his arms around me and was telling me how he liked me. It would have been the perfect makeout spot, but I wasn't really feeling it. I agreed to come over to his place for Easter dinner.

He took me home and kissed me again. It was the same as last time. I tried to kind of get it going a little, but no luck. When he pulled away he says: "You're a really light kisser." WHAT? I was kind of stunned for a minute. "Um, I was just thinking the same thing about you," I stammered. "Well, I hope that's not a bad thing," he replied. "Um, no, um, of course not." I lied. How do you tell a 25-year-old they're no good with their lips? Then I went inside. I had no idea what the problem was; we were two people in our mid-twenties, and we just couldn't have a good kiss. Maybe it was just lack of chemistry, I don't know.

For Thanksgiving I made an awesome salad, then headed out to his new place in Burnaby for some potluck. Here are where the signs that I didn't like him (as much as I was trying) really started to come out:

1. I sat on an ottoman by myself so he couldn't try to cuddle me.

2. I found myself being attracted to one of his friends. This friend is a major player (exactly the type of guy I'm trying to stay away from) but I couldn't help it.

We ate dinner, then sat around and talked. At this point Nice Boy grabbed his guitar, and sat away from everyone playing it and singing to himself. This was the last straw for me. I mean, it was just weird. Before I left he was trying to cuddle up to me and put his arm around me and I pulled away.

I never heard from him again. I think at the end of the night when I ran away with a hug and no kiss he kind of got the hint. It's sort of sad, because I honestly would have liked to be friends with him, but after no call for a week or two I'm not going to call him being all "let's be friends now!" Too weird. So I just left it at that.

A few weeks later I noticed that my cousin was a mutual friend on Facebook. She told me that he actually dated one of her friends years ago... and it was a weird situation too. Maybe I dodged a bullet.


I have a program called Statcounter, that tells me who's visiting my blog, from where, and what they searched to get there. The usual searches are mainly something like "hottest hockey players," "female pheromones," "Single white female BC" etc.

Sometimes I get some that are especially interesting:

"How to pull off the girlfriend switcheroo"

"Why are all the hottest guys white?"

"Natures love potion"

"Brendan Shanahan dating Carrie Underwood" (Um, nope, married to Mike Fischer.)

"stigmatism" OR "astigmatism" OR "nearsighted" OR "shortsighted" OR "sighted" OR "glasses" OR "contacts" (Wow, this person does their research!)

"What to wear to my first East Indian wedding"

"hockey player hot mullets"

"Mike Cammalleri shirtless" (Fairly common)

"Photobomb" + "Neck Brace"

"meeting hockey players" (One word: Roxy)

"single white female vanilla" (I prefer the term "cracker")

"blow job in single white female movie"

"indian dot on my forehead"

"take my flower" (Are you cute? I'll think about it.)

"virtue moir" (I don't even know what this means, so no idea how it linked to me)

Keep up the good work, random Googlers. You make me smile! :)

Nice Boy

The week after my birthday I finally got to go out with the cute boy I'd met at the office. He picked me up and we went to Earl's for some drinks and appies. We got along really well; we were having one of those really great conversations about everyting: our families, friends, work, love, futures. We seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things... Except that he planned to move to Switzerland or Sweden(I forget which country exactly,) in a year to work for a while. I had about 3 martinis and was on the drunker side of life, but still able to function. He took me home and dropped me off. I was hoping for a kiss, but nope, denied.

We went out again a few days later. Since I'd made him plan the last date, this time it was my turn. We headed out Castly Fun Park in Abbotsford to play some mini golf, boozed up slushies and all. It was a lot of fun. We were laughing, and joking, and cheating a little. Then we went back to his place to play a little pool. (He lives in a house with his dad and brother, so the dining room was turned into a TV room, and the pool table was in the living room area.) He also started teaching me how to play guitar. It is not easy. For those of you who have never tried, you have to hold down the strings really hard, and it hurts your finger. I was doing ok though.

He drove me home, and this time I did get a kiss... but it wasn't quite what I expected. It was sort of... soft. Not that I like my face to be ravaged when I'm kissed, soft is better than completely rough, but it was like kissing a pillow. Put a little bit of tension into those lips! The problem is, how do you "teach" someone to kiss, when they aren't exactly a teenager anymore? Hmmm.

Birthday Bowling

My birthday was tonnes of fun this year. I wasn't into the whole clubbing scene, so I invited a bunch of friends for dinner, and then to hit up the bowling alley.

I arrived at dinner, and there was a big group waiting for me, with huge bouquets of flowers... my fave! It was mostly my coupled-up friends, and co-workers. We ate at Galini Greek Kouzina, and as always the food was fantastic. As was the booze, obviously. I ate, drank, and circulated around the table, talking to everyone.

After dinner we left and headed to my house for a little pre-drinking before the bowling alley. (Not liscenced? What?) This is when my second shift of friends showed up, with more flowers, and Van Gogh Vodka minis. Mmm. Honestly, with the amount of flowers I had on the table one of my friends mentioned that it looked like a funeral. Lovely.

Time got away from us and the bowling alley phoned, asking where we were. Coincidentally I'd just found out that my friend's aunt and uncle own the alley, and it was his cousin working, so he sorted everything out... aaaannnddd got us FREE bowling!

We arrived at the bowling alley, donned some fake moustaches from the loonie machine at the door, and got to playing. It was "disco bowling" at that time of night, so the disco ball was going, and the old-school 90's music was playing. I had a blast. Even though I was by FAR the worst bowler there. We'll just blame it on my being loaded, but really, I'd have sucked that bad anyways.

The cute guy I'd met at work the week before wasn't able to come, because his brother had randomly showed up from out of town, but we made plans to hang out later in the week.

After the bowling alley, I don't even remember what happened. Part of my brain is telling me I went to Gabby's... part of my brain is telling me I just went home. If anyone wants to fill me in, that would be great!

All in all, it was an amazing bday, and I want to thank all my friends that came out and made it a wonderful night!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Birthday Playa

My birthday was on a Monday. At the office I was working at that day no one but one girl knew or cared. The one girl got me flowers though, which was very much appreciated. Oh yeah... they did get me a card, that they all signed AFTER the fact, and that I got the next day. Thanks.

I worked the Tuesday at one of my other offices, where they DO care. I got a card, ON TIME, and also a cake.I had left at lunch because I had a cancellation, and came back to the surprisecake, but it was too late to cut it then, so we decided to have the cake near the end of the work day.

Fast forward to the end of the day, and I was walking my patient out. There was a surprise waiting for me at the front: a cute boy under the receptionist's desk, trying to fix the computer for her. After chatting for a bit I invited him back to have cake with us for all his efforts.

He came back and ate cake as well as he could, as he'd just gotten a filling done and was super frozen still. Poor guy.

We all got to talking, and I mentioned that he should come out for my birthday that weekend, because we were going bowling, and who doesn't like bowling?

After talking for a bit more, everyone else had to get back to work and it was just met and him... and he asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him, while being super nervous and saying dumb things. He actually wanted to come out bowling! I was stoked! He also kept texting me over the next couple days, and things seemed to be going well, so far!

Olympics - Ice Dance

As well as getting tickets for the Opening Ceremonies, I had gotten some to go see Ice Dance with my friend Elise. I headed downtown in the morning to get a jump on the day, and after fetching Elise some fast food breakfast and waiting about an hour and a half for her to get ready we hit the town.

We had a short time for her to show me all the touristy Olympic attractions, before grabbing the Olympic shuttle bus down to the arena.

First stop: walking across the Cambie street bridge. This is where I got my first taste of the crazy billboards. They were on like half the buildings... and I liked it. For some reason that I do not, know except that it's just in true Elise fashion, she had attached a cow bell to her purse. Every step was jingle, jingle, jingle. Let's just say she got her fair share of strange looks, with a few dirty looks thrown in. I have to admit though, it made her much easier to find in a crowd.

Next stop: Robson square. The lineup to take the 10 second zipline across the square was demented. There were people lining up for approximately 6 hours. I had heard the wait was upto 8 hours on other days. Really? A whole day for a 10 second zip ride? It would be fun, but no thanks. We walked down the stairs to take a peek at the open-air ice skating area, and we were just in time: the mascots were making an appearance! Unfortunately my view was blocked by a bunch of CHILDREN! Ugh! Who let them out in public!

On one street were cutouts of different Olympics sports that you can wedge your body into and take pictures. Unfortunately for me I tried to take the form of a ski jumper... and pulled my neck badly. Maybe this one should be for the kids, after all. Also there were cute little Japanese lanterns strung up that kids from the elementary schools had painted.

We headed down to the courthouse, which was decorated beautifully with large pictures of cherry blossoms. The Olympic countdown clock was here too. Oh, and of course there were hippies protesting the seal hunt. Normally I don't take much notice of protesters... but these ones had cute flags. And no one can resist a cute flags. I mean, "Club Soda, not Seals" !? It takes cute to the next level!

The final stop downtown before heading to the ice dancing for the day was of course, the Olympic cauldron. Of course it was surrounded by an unsightly fence so crazies couldn't try to climb it and set their hair on fire (this IS Vancouver, after all), but it was ok. We got some pics from a little farther away and all was well. It was really cool to see this.

We headed to the bus stop to grab the Olympic bus to the Pacific Coliseum. The best part about the bus ride was the super-loud guy on the bus, who clearly was from somewhere that is NOT Vancouver, sounding off about how he knows everything about the city. And he kept being wrong. For example: "We're heading down now to the TNE." Umm buddy, it's the PNE.

Just as we were entering the arena we saw the man of our dreams: Quatchi. And since I was with Elise, and we're both up for anything, we did what any normal girl in her mid-twenties would do: we ran towards him. We had almost lost him, when he headed down a ramp, so we started to yell: "Quaaaattttcchhhiiiii!!!!" It was great, his "handlers" stopped him, (and Sumi too) and they posed as we took pictures. And then they threw us some mascot pins. It was amazeballs.

We found our seats, watched the warmup, and then the show started. When we had first purchased tickets we'd just wanted any kind of ice skating, and boy-oh-boy, that is what we got. It was the 2nd out of 3 days of ice dance, and we were watching the "Original Dance." What we didn't know was that the "Original Dances" had a theme: and it was "country." So as well as being subjected to some rockin country beats, we also got to experience folk dances of some pretty random countries. This was the dance that the Australian couple had gotten into with their aboriginee costumes.

The Canadians, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir came in second that day, and went on to rock the "Free Dance" to take home the Gold. We were so happy to have seen them skate. All in all it was an awesome adventure, with an awesome friend, at the awesome Olympics.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Olympics Date

I also had a date during the Olympics. We decided to head downtown to take in some of the sights, so he picked me up and we headed to the skytrain. Once we got there he went over to pay for parking, only to find out that the machine didn't take debit, and he hadn't brought his VISA. So, I paid for it. It was an honest mistake, but it still left me feeling kinda peeved.

The skytrain and the downtown core were PACKED. The guy was trying to be a gentleman, and kept putting his hand on my lower back to guide me through the crowd, but again, it sort of skeeved me out. I don't mind being touched by someone I know, or someone I'm crushing on, but I wasn't really feeling him, so it bothered me. I wanted to yell "personal bubble please!"

Once we were down there we wandered around for a while, and he wanted to take me to a fancy seafood restaurant that was right on the waterfront. The only problem was he didn't know where it was since he couldn't remember the name. I started asking random Vancouverites for help, and we eventually located it.

The place was packed, so we took a seat at the bar. Strangely enough, I'm 99% sure I had gone on a date with one of the bartenders a year or so before that. I kept staring at him trying to figure it out. He probably didn't remember me and thought I was a weirdo. We ordered a couple drinks, and then ate our meal at the bar.

Because of the fact there were two bartenders working together behind the bar, there was a miscommunication about who was bringing us our bill, so it took a little longer than it should have. So what did my date do? YELLED out "Excuse me, can we get out bill?" I mean, it was LOUD! I shushed him and was like "You can't yell at the waiter!" to which he assured me that he wasn't yelling, only talking loudly. Riiiight. Well let me tell you, as someone who's slaved through work in a restaurant the last thing you need is some customer reaming you out for a simple mistake.

We got our bill, and my date went to pay at the front. He came back a minute later telling me that the debit was down, so we'd have to stick around a while until it came up. "Well how long has it been out for?" I asked him. The answer was 3 hours. Well, I wasn't about to stick around in the off chance the computer came back online. I suggested he walk to an ATM and take out cash. He agreed, and wanted me to come with him. I figured I better stay there so they didn't think we were dining and dashing. A little while later he was back saying that the ATM wasn't working either. Damn him and his stupid not bringing his VISA card. We pooled together what we had for cash, which luckily was enough to cover the bill. I wasn't too happy about having to pay. It's not that I mind paying for myself, but I expect a man to pay on the first date. Also, if I knew I was paying I wouldn't have gone to the fancy, expensive restaurant he'd suggested.

After we left we decided to head to Sochi house. I wanted to take a look in the gift shop at the Team Russia jackets, with the red and white. After standing in line for 10 or so minutes we discovered that it was closed for a private function. I walked to the front of the line to find out if I could just take a peek into the shop, and was stopped by two grim-looking Russian security guards. They blocked me out like I was a terrorist or something, instead of a 5'6" blonde girl. I couldn't even take a look, so we left.

He wanted to hang out more, but I couldn't take it any longer. We got on the Skytrain and headed home. Needless to say, there was no date number 2.

Olympics Day 1

The day they announced the Olympic Games were coming to Vancouver I was ecstatic. I still remember that I was driving, about to get on Highway 1 when I heard the news.

8 looong years later it was here! I got tickets online for two events: the opening ceremony and ice dance.

The day of the opening ceremonies I met up with my friend Genevieve who was coming with me, and a few other friends who were heading down to enjoy the atmosphere. We drove to Surrey, then stopped at DQ to get some slushies. Note: never do this... they're gross. We also bought some mini bottles of Vodka to cheer them up a little.

The ride down wasn't as crowded as I would have thought, but we were short on time so we immediately headed to GM Place (Ahem... Canada Hockey Place.)

Once inside we were stunned... everything was lit up a lightish blue colour. There were huge Olympic rings, and a large mountain/slide set-up.

On our seats were octagonal drum-shaped kits that we'd use during the ceremony. They included a poncho, flashlight with coloured film, plastic candle and drum stick.

The pre-ceremony where they taught us how to use everything and got us ready for the performance was hosted by Tamara Taggert and Ben Mulroney.

The ceremonies started with a countdown. I knew I was going to be yelling out "4"... so I texted my parents to let them know where to look for me. Upon telling my dad "I'm a 4" he replied back with "If you got your boobs done you'd be a 10." Oh Dad!

The ceremonies were pretty good. The "I am Canadian" speech was amazing, as was kd Lang singing "Hallelujah." I mentioned to my friend that the song made me think of "The OC," and she said it reminded her of "Shrek." She also (being from Quebec) didn't recognized who kd lang was, and remarked that the singer had a high pitched voice for a man.

The longest part was when all the countries did their walk around the oval. When you're watching on tv you get tidbits of information, like how many athletes are competing, and who's carrying the flag, but you don't get that watching live. When Canada came out the crowd went WILD! There were so many athletes competing for us; it was amazing!

I could have done without the long speeches, and everything being said in French first... but the amazing graphics of the whales spouting water, and punky fiddle playing made up for it.

And who can forget... the arm of the cauldrom that just wouldn't come up! First three little squares opened up in the floor, and we knew something was happening. The three arms started to come up, and it became apparent to us that something was wrong... especially when the music started re-playing. But, as good Canadians we made do, and turned it into a lot of fun at the Closing Ceremonies.

I'm truly happy and proud I got to see something like this in my lifetime.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Friday, July 02, 2010

My Jersey Shore Nickname

Well with season two of Jersey Shore looming I thought I'd share my Jersey Shore nickname: "The Back End."

Well, they got that one right!

To get your own visit: Jersey Shore Nickname Generator.

Will you take my flower?

I'm a flower!

Name: Clematis Vancouver TM - Danielle
A “Vancouver Series” Clearview Introduction

Danielle has the wonderful color of the President and the excellent flower form of Violet Charm. (Why, thank you!)

This compact 6-8’ (2-2.5m) variety has Deep purple blue 6-8” (15-20cm) flowers with striking Red tipped stamens.

The blooming time is late spring and again in early autumn
Pruning group B1

Sun, part shade, container cut

Info/pics from Home of Clematis.

Uninformed much?

This happened a while ago... but it's too good not to blog.

I was standing out front of a friend's house where we had a large cancer fundraiser. For the occasion a friend and I got gotten tank tops made up with "Fuck Cancer" on the front.

While we were waiting for a cab a guy walked up to me and said: "Eww... I wouldn't want to fuck cancer."

"I'd rather fuck cancer than AIDS," I retorted.

"Why," he said, "You can cure AIDS, you can't cure cancer."

WHAT??!! Really?

The worst part was that my friend agreed... And they thought that there was some big, government cover-up and all the rich people were being cured of AIDS.

Well guess what... if there was a cure for AIDS we'd know. I'm not saying that because I'm a glass-half-full kind of person, I'm saying it because if there was a cure the pharmaceutical companies would be making FAT cash off of it.

If you don't believe me, go around riding bareback. I dare you.

Laser Eye Surgery

I was never the "cool kid" in school. I started getting pudgy in grade 3, got glasses in Grade 4 and to complete the ensemble, braces in grade 6. I got contacts in grade 9, as well as lost a lot of weight, and got my braces off. Phew!

There are still cons about contacts: it hurts SO much more to get something in your eye (I would never drive with the windows down if my hair wasn't in a pontyail), they could be irritating, get stuck, and could rip easily.

As I grew older my eyes got gradually worse and worse. At one point they were deteriorating so badly I had to go back to the optometrist within 6 months because I had noticed a difference.

Around age 25 my eyes seemed to be slowing down, so at the end of December, when I was at the dye doctor, I asked for a consultation to get laser eye surgery. The eye doctor recommended Dr. Blaylock at the Valley Laser Eye Centre in Abbotsford. Both my parents had their surgeries done by him and were happy with the result.

Now let me say something: I HATE eyeballs. They are gross. I can't look when someone pulls down their eyelids, and it disgusts me when they show anything to do with eyes on tv or in movies (think pencil through the eye, thanks Grey's Anatomy.) The only reason I could put in my own contacts was because of my own vanity, and I would do it looking away from the mirror. Having surgery on my eyeballs absolutely scared the crap out of me.

At my first consult I found out that my eyes were worse than I originally thought: they were between -8.00 to -9.00. They were too bad for regular Lasik, so the nurse told me I'd probably need Intra-Lazik, or I-Lasik, which is similar to Lasik in healing time, but cut-free. I also had to have some yellow drops that numb your eyeball to check for glaucoma. At this point I literally began to feel faint and had to sit back and ask the nurse for a glass of water.

At my next pre-surgery appointment I had to have the eyedrops that make your eyes dilate. It was such a weird sensation. The brightness didn't really bother me, but I could see things farther away better than close up. It was like being an old person. I was sitting in the chair waiting for my dopctor, having to hold my magazine at arm's length to try to read it.

When I finally met Dr Blaylock he told me that due to my bad eyesight that Intra-Lasik wasn't even an option, and I might have to consider lens replacement. I almost started to cry. To me that's major, a "real" surgery. He then said that I could do PRK, but just barely. PRK is also a no-touch surgery, but it's a little more invasive than I-Lasik. It goes in and actually re-shapes the cornea of the eye, so it's a more painful, slower heal. However because it's no-cut it's better later on if you play sports etc... because you won't get hit in the face and have a piece of your eye come off. Lovely.

The day of the surgery in early February, I was a bit of a wreck. My blood pressure was way up. Thank God they eventually sat me down and gave me an Attivan. (They wouldn't give me anything stronger, believe me, I asked.) The whole office is super organized, people are in and out of the surgery room like a factory line.They wiped down my face with iodine and gave me some numbing drops.

Once I got into the operatory I laid down on the chair of the machine, which was actually really comfy, and the covered one eye with a cardboard mask. They did one eye at a time, and it was about 2-3 minutes an eye.

The first thing they did is clamp my eyelid open so I couldn't blink. (Not that I didn't keep trying.) Then they scraped off the outer layer of my eye. What they use to do it looks like a mini-fan that you see people with at ball games. Then they started up the laser. They told me to look directly at it. This was the best part. It didn't hurt, I just saw some lights and then a bit of a shadow. There was the smell of burning hair in the room, which they told me was the machine. Bullshit! Now I know what a burning eyeball smells like. When that part was over they washed my eyes with water. Not fun. Pretty much it was laser, rinse repeat ;) Then they put on some protective bandage-contact lenses to help heal the eye.

Dr Blaylock was really reassuring through the whole thing. He kept telling me to keep my eye still and stare at the middle of the laser and that I was doing great.

Ten or so minutes later I walked out of the operatory and I could see... kind of! I could read the clock, but it was still kind of blury.

That night my eyes were sore, so I took a Tylenol 3 and went to bed. I was thinking that it wasn't too bad, but the next night my eyes were crazy sensitive to light and it killed just to have them open. I sat in the dark by myself, listening to a movie.

A few days later I had to go back in to get the bandage-contacts off, which was a relief. With the PRK surgery it's more of a gradual increase in sight, but I was seeing things I hadn't for years without glasses... like my clock radio beside my bed.

As of now my vision is 20/20. Amazing, I know. When I look at a bright light I get a bit of a "starshine" going on, and this is due to a bit of astigmatism caused by the swelling from the surgery. This too is beginning to decrease as time goes by. In a few weeks I'm due for my 9 month check-up where we'll decide whether there's still enough astigmatism for a touch-up surgery of if we can leave it be.

Please, please let us leave it be! I'm 100% glad I had the surgery, but it's a once in a lifetime thing, not a twice.

Here's a Strange One

A little before Christmas I started seeing a guy, let's call him BJ. Things started well, we met up at the dog park and hung out with his dog, then drove to have some sushi. That same night we went to see New Moon in the theatre.

There were a couple weird things though: 1. He wouldn't talk to me on the phone, only though Blackberry Messenger, and 2. He wouldn't tell me his last name (due to his job.)

We hung out a few more times, and he asked me to stay over and cuddle (no funny stuff) almost right away. He even let me know where his key was and I'd go walk his dog for him while he was at work. It almost seemed like we just popped into having a bf/gf type relationship right away.

One night we were sitting on the couch, about to go to bed, and he was checking on his hockey pool online. As he closed the window his MSN login popped up, with his email that contained his last name. I pointed at it and said "Oooh" then we went to bed.

While talking a few days later I made a joke about how he's not as mysterious anymore since I know his last name now. He was like "What?" and I told him how I had seen it over his shoulder when he was on the computer. He then called me a liar and accused me of sneaking through his stuff while he was out. He then "broke up" with me, as much as you can break up with someone that you aren't even exclusive with. He also said that I had said a few things to "scare him" but wouldn't give me any details. Ummm... you were the one that kept asking me to stay over, and you were the one that asks me to walk your dog... but I'M scaring YOU?

We decided to be friends. My other friend the "love guru" said that BJ knew that I'd seen the MSN over his shoulder, but wouldn't admit it, because then he'd be wrong and lose all his power. I found that one an interesting possibility.

A few days later BJ asked me to come over and watch a movie. I went over with my best "we're just friends" attitude and sat on the other side of the couch. Almost immediately he pulled me in to cuddle. Ok, I thought... what's going on here? While I was standing in the kitchen he even swatted me on the bum... and after the movie asked if I was gonna stay over. Thoroughly confused, I went home alone.

Our relationship continued this way. We were just friends, but very flirty, and I'd stay over at his house a few nights a week to cuddle.

I'd ask him to do other things, go for lunch or dinner or coffee, but he always claimed to be too broke, even though half the time when we were talking he was out with his friends or father, drinking.

Now, you may be thinking "BOOTY CALL!" And I'd agree, except for one thing... I was getting NO booty! Nothing, Nada! And it was driving me crazy. Sleeping in a bed half naked next to an attractive guy is hard. And not only did he not try anything, I was DENIED. I mean, I've denied plenty of guys sex in my day, but I can't think of a time that I never didn't get it when I wanted it.

So NOW you may be thinking "GAY GAY GAY" And I'd agree, except for one other thing, he'd want me to go down on him. But did he want to reciprocate?... Nope!

We had a few conversations about his. At first he claimed he was too tired for sex (but not too tired for a gummer?) Then he claimed that due to his being a Christian he wanted to wait for marriage, despite the fact that he's not a virgin. "So blow jobs are ok, but sex isn't?" I asked him... "Nope, neither." He replied. I was so, so, so confused. I just gave up on it. Cuddling was all he was going to get.

A few weeks later he decided to move. That morning we met up for a bit, and what do you know... BJ wanted a BJ. But this time he was ready to negotiate... If I gave him one now, he said he'd meet up with me later so we could FINALLY do it. Thoroughly sexually frustrated, I agreed. I also took his dog from him to babysit for a few hours while he moved. And what do I get in return? A message hours later that we had no place to go, he'd already given the key back to the landlord, and was drunk at the pub. Could I bring his dog there? Because he was too drunk to drive. I was livid.

He moved to the next town and would message me occasionally. We still talk every so often, and even hung out the other weekend. I know it will never go anywhere though.

After all of this, when he moved away and I had time to think about it, I can't believe I let myself be used so much. I was always available to help him out, but got nothing in return. He never even took me for the lunch he promised me for walking his dog so often. When we talk now I finally stand up for myself, and call him out when he's being an asshole. He just thinks I got meaner.

At least I've learned something: never date a guy that doesn't treat you well, no matter how hot he is. I'll never again lose who I am to fit in with what a man wants.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sweet, Sweet Millions

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love bunnies. (Don't worry kittens, I won't forget you.)

I also love any commercial where there are talking animals, or talking babies, or anything that's cute and isn't supposed to talk, but does. Even that commercial for the new racing game, Blur, where they have the little Wii-esque little characters... *sigh* love it.

Here is my new favourite commerical. It's so cute I literally want to die. Please enjoy... And try not to die of cuteness overload. I don't want to get sued.

I'm Gaga for Gaga!

I had the pleasure of seeing Lady Gaga live at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in December, and to steal one of Perez Hilton's catch phrases... it was AMAZEBALLS!

At first I thought it was strange to be seeing her in a theatre I reserved in my mind for Cats and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat... but if her show isn't a Broadway musical, I don't know what is.

Our seats were in the left-middle in the 15th or so row, and were fab. It really was a great venue for this show (if you forgive them for the inability to bring drinks from the lobby to your seats, that is! Ugh... having to chug two doubles.)

Before the show started they were playing some hot Michael Jackson tunes and the entire auditorium were on their feet dancing along. Luckily I had brought a pair of gloves and my friend and I split them, one hand each. I asked the guy seated beside us if he needed some, but he had brought his own!

Now, the partons of this concert could be called "eclectic," and that would be putting it mildly. The homosexuals (God bless 'em) were out in full force, as were the freaks and weirdos. There were more sequins than a prom and more hair than a Jersey Shore episode. There were even people wearing crutches like the "Paparazzi" video.

The show started and I was blown away. It's not very often you see an ARTIST that can write her own songs, sing live, play the piano and shake her scantily-clad bootyat the same time. The background dancers were amazing, the effects were amazing, the outfits were amazing, she was amazing.

I was attending the third of three concerts in Vancouver, so she had some lovely words for us ... you know... third date, sex date! And aww... I must say I enjoy being a member of the "Little Monsters." She even had me tearing up when she was telling us to cherish our mothers and fathers because family is important.

I unfortunately didn't get tickets to her upcoming concert... so if anyone wants to take me... I'm free!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Another Fun Factoid From "Arrested Development"

When I was looking up my new fave show I also took a look at the IMDB page. This is the Hollywood database that breaks down all the characters and episodes etc.

Well, they have a spot where they put factual errors that take place in the show. This is what it said for Arrested Development:

Factual errors: A relationship between first cousins, as played out in the "taboo" relationship between George-Michael and Maeby, is not, in fact, incestuous. First cousin is the closest rank of blood relationships that is not incestuous. A relationship with anyone in the direct line (one's parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, etc.) is incestuous. In the collateral line, only the first and second degree (one's siblings and one's parents' siblings, IE, one's aunts and uncles) are incestuous. Their offspring (which would be one's nieces, nephews and first cousins) constitute the first degree of blood relation that is not incestuous, along with every degree of removal after them.

OK... What I want to know is HOW does this person know this? Maybe the person his/herself is having a cousin-to-cousin relationship? Because really, even if it isn't technically "incest" it's still creepy as hell! Funny on the show... but creepy in real life. Down with flipper babies!

Jason Bateman has "Arrested" My Heart

Recently my sister and her husband lent me the DVDs of the sitcom "Arrested Development." At first I didn't think I would like it, but that shit is damn funny. Weirdly funny, yet funny.

I also realized something else: I have a crush on Jason Bateman. Like I would totally make out with him. Maybe a little grinding on the couch too. Keep things interesting.

I was wondering how old he was, so I looked him up on Wikipedia. Well, he was born in 1969. Yep, kinda old. Not older than me enough for it to be sickening, but just enough that people would gossip when they saw a couple our ages together.

Then I realized something else. It's 2010 now, but Arrested Development came out in 2003. I don't have a crush on modern-day Jason, I have a crush on 7-years-ago Jason! So instead of him being 41, he's really 34 there.

So let's look up what he looks like nowadays:

Hmmm pretty good, a few more wrinkles but it adds character, right? Let's see another:

Red hair? Ew!
Let's try a picture of Jason a few years ago, circa "Juno":

Nope, not hot. Hitting on pregnant teenagers is just too creepy.
Let's look up 2003:

Totally a dateable age! Meow! What I need is a time machine!

Maybe not!