Sunday, September 13, 2009

Britney Bitch

I know this was sooo long ago (like April long)... but I don't just want to skip ahead and leave things out.

Everyone knows I love Britney. I've loved her since she first came out. Then she went crazy. I still loved her. I knew she would come back.

When she announced a concert in Vancouver I was there. At least, unlike in Grade 10, I wasn't wearing fake leather pants and a white wifebeater.

I pre-drank and had cucumber sandwiches (mmm) at my girlfriend Elise's downtown then headed to GM Place. (I had to meet my girlfriend Cerina there because she worked late.) We got there a bit late (hey, I was druuunk) and I headed upstairs to our seats to catch a bit of the Pussycat Dolls before Cerina arrived. I danced up a storm to Jai Ho before I went down to meet her.

This is where we lucked out. Someone (who I majorly owe and won't be named) managed to get us down onto the floor for the Britney section of the concert.

The concert was good... I mean nothing compares to Brit Brit circa 2002 or so, but she held her own...

Until her diva move that is. She had gone offstage for a costume change and didn't come back... for a half hour. Then a voice came up on the loudspeaker telling us that it was too smoky and a hazard to the dancers. Too smoky? Well first off have you seen the amount of shit coming out of your smoke machines? And secondly you're in VANCOUVER! These things are just a given! The first major concert I ever attended was Our Lady Peace in grade 8 and it was much, much worse.

Finally she came back on and half-assed the rest of the concert.

As she ran off the stage at the end she yelled: “Thanks Vancouver. You were wonderful. Drive safe. Don’t smoke weed! Rock out with your cocks out! Peace out motherfuckers!" At least she's good for a laugh.

The thing is though... I'm like a mama with her child. I can be mad at Britney, I can say that I don't like her very much right now, but I'll always love that little biotch.

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