Friday, July 31, 2009

'cause baby I'm up in my Beegees like a windy interview

Don't ask questions... just watch it:

Best quote ever: "You know you love my cock... Come on give me water dessert."

25 Hottest Hockey Players Video

Just something I came across... Some are the same ones I had on my list, some are totally different. The whole thing is sorta skewed towards the eastern teams, especially the Penguins... but they have Pyatt at least, so all is right in the world. Enjoy:

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'm R-Patz... but not as pretty.

I have two zits right now, that are smack dab in the middle of my chest.

It looks like I got bitten by a vampire.

Except shittier.

I'm thinking of buying a Costco-sized tube of body glitter and trying to "pass" until it goes away.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Saturday, July 11, 2009

At least he's not sleeping with kids this time!

As if everyone didn't already know that R. Kelly was a sex-crazed weirdo, here are a few things you should know he wants, based on tracks off his new CD Mix Tape:

I've highlighted a few of the... um... highlights.

1. To make the p-u-s-s-y cry (“P.U.S.S.Y. Cry”)

2. To give you a backrub, followed by a trip to the hot tub (“Birthday Sex”)

3. For people not to disrespect his shorty, since he likes her sex (“Disrespect My Shorty”)

4. To hit that big old [ass], even though his girl similarly has a big old [ass] (“Disrespect My Shorty”)

5. To have you scream “It hurts, it hurts!” then have you concede that his lovemaking quenches your thirst, your thirst (“Birthday Sex”)

6. To get him some of that birthday sex (“Birthday Sex”)

7. To turn this club into a bedroom (“Club 2 A Bedroom”)

8. For you not to trip; he owns the club, so you don’t gotta worry ’bout security (“Club 2 A Bedroom”)

9. To get some gratuity, and he don’t mean cash, girl (“Tip The Waiter”)

10. To make it rain like a ticker-tape parade (“Tip The Waiter”)

11. For you not to knock his dick and a half (“Every Girl”)

12. To touch booty like he’s playing it (“Every Girl”)

13. For all y’all to have his baby (“Every Girl”)

14. To have them bitches that are hating on you rubbing on you (“Every Girl”)

15. To eat the coochie of all the girls wearing Gucci (“Every Girl”)

16. For you to listen to his mix-tape, cause it’s Kells, bitches (“Every Girl”)

17. For haters to get fucked with a sandpaper dick (“Best I Ever Had”)

18. To make you say silly shit with his silly dick (“Turning Me On”)

19. To take your sexy ass home and show you how he licks it (“Turning Me On”)

20. To get up in a whole lot of ass (“Turning Me On”)

21. To protect you from a lack of sex (“Supa Dupa Man”)

22. To hit you with super-love so pleasing it’s better than any TV show, better even than HBO, so good he’ll get thumbs-up when he goes low (“Supa Dupa Man”)

23. For you to get on his lap and go-go, since the rearview mirror is saying no po-po (“Makin’ Me Wanna”)

24. To fuck every girl he sees, from the hood to the fucking industry, even the Statue of Liberty (“Every Girl”)

Monday, July 06, 2009

my sister loves this one

When I did my taxes this year instead of just doing it on the computer I needed to get a company to do it because of the Passion Parties home business. I was in Sears with my mom and decided to check out the prices at the H&R Block inside it.

The Asian tax man informed us that we'd need to speak to the man who deals with the business taxes and that he wasn't there that day. He told us the name and said to call the next day.

I asked if we could get a card with his name on it, just as my mom was asking "So just call tomorrow and ask for Chowse?"

I looked at the business card. It said Charles.

Not her fault... that's how the guy pronounced it... I'm just glad I didn't say it. Way to be mama! HAHAHA

Last Train to Awesometown

"Dude... this party has 5 different kinds of nachos!"

This one's a must-watch. Do it.

Fun Fact of the Day

Caesar salad was invented in Tijuana, Mexico.
I know... who knew?
Tacos, burritos and Caesar salad... these people are geniuses!