I just had the best thought: next time I have sex (which let's face it, probably won't be anytime soon, but whatever) I'm going to say something really crazy to the guy.
For example: "Wow, that was soooo awesome. You are AMA-ZING! You're like the sex Terminator, you know, like a robot that came from the future to teach me what great sex is supposed to be like."
You know why: because even if he told people no one would believe him that I really said it. Think about it. I'm a friggin' genius.
If anyone has some suggestions I'm totally open to that too.