Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Everything you ever wanted (or didn't want) to know about vaginal dilators

I was chilling at home on the couch watching The Real World when Caitlin, the post-op transsexual who used to be a dude and is now a chick, starts talking about her vaginal dilator.

WWWWWHHHHAAATTTT???

It was something I had never thought about before... but I guess it makes sense that you need to stretch it out after surgery or it will heal up... like an earring hole?

This is what I found out on the internet:

"Vaginal dilators need to be used as a post operative aid by transsexuals. Using a dilator is absolutely vital to helping the healing process and preventing narrowing or complete collapse of the newly-formed vagina. The dilation process is essential to ensuring a well formed vaginal opening and indeed to the wellbeing of the whole vaginal structure. Dilation must be regularly carried out daily or twice daily during the first year after gender reassignment surgery. Many surgeons will also advise that dilation of the vaginal cavity should be carried out on a weekly basis for life. Failure to follow recommended dilation procedures can result in the failure of reassignment surgery. "

Interesting. You always hear the jokes about chicks being too loose (the whole hotdog down a hallway thing) but never too tight. Well actually... there was a rumor that went around my high school about this one couple that was dating. She was very petite and he was a big dude and the rumor was that they could only have anal because it "didn't fit." I choose to believe the rumor because I don't like her anyways.

Back to the topic at hand... What this would really be helpful for is drug smuggling. Think about it... I could have so many free trips to Thailand...

"Hey Danielle, where's that kilo of cocaine you were supposed to bring across the border?"

"Don't worry... it's right here in my poon! I'll just stick my arm in and grab it!"

In conclusion, I saved the best for last. A picture. I chose this one because it's the prettiest. Nothing says vaginal dilation like pastels and lilies right?

PS. They have rectal dilators too. I guess in case your hamster gained a few extra pounds? That's a whole nother story.

11 comments:

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