Friday, May 30, 2008

I haven't heard from the concert guy since he called me. I texted him on Wednesday saying "I've been sick for 4 days straight, and I blame YOU mister!" but no reply. Few days my ass! Oh well, I'll see him on Saturday. I just don't get it. Why do I always get all these mixed signals?

Spring Showers

The day after Daniel Wesley I went to a baby shower. My friend Kristin had just had a new baby, Clayton, who is super cute.

The shower was fun, but kinda awkward. First off it was a lot of girls that I used to dance with and don't really see anymore, and they all seem super close and I feel like an outsider. Also, I just feel like I'm too young to be at these grown-up events. I'm not close to having a baby, or being married for that matter. I'm only 24!

After the shower I raced my ass out to Vancouver to work on our Table Clinics for school. Pretty much it's a glorified science project. We need to decorate a big board with pictures and information and do a little presentation. Ours looks pretty good though. It's about oral piercings and it's called "Bling Bling No-No's" I sewed a huge tongue out of a red scarf (by hand) and put some aluminum foil through it to make a piercing. It's really cool. And it took me like 2 friggin hours to sew.

While I was working guess who called me? The guy from the night before! I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him, especially the day after. We chatted for a while and he was like "I'll give you a call in the next couple of days."

Daniel Wesley

Last friday I went to the Daniel Wesley concert at Citrus. (Yes, I actually went to Citrus.) If you haven't heard of Daniel Wesley, it's ok. I didn't know who they were either, but they were actually really good. They were in the Seeds competition for The Fox last year or the year before. They sing this one song that kinda sounds like Sublime and it's like "Ooo ohh you can't look back girl, Gonna catch a wave and smoke a little ganja."

I didn't have a ticket, but it worked out well 'cause my friend Chris knows everyone and we totally bypassed the line...Even the people that did have tickets.

We got in there and had a few drinks and the concert started. The opening band was this local hip-hop group. Their own songs kinda sucked, but they did some old school stuff and we were yelling "Play something we know!"

As the night went on and the band came on my friend and I started to get a little closer. I was stoked, 'cause I'd thought he was cute for a while. We were dancing and stuff and then we ended up making out on the dance floor and slow dancing to the slow songs. (Did I ever mention that I LOVE slow dancing?) He even told me that he wants to call me and take me out on a real date. It was really cute.

He left to go to the bathroom and his friend came over and started talking to me. I should mention that his friend is cute too, really nice eyes. His friend tells me that he wants to kiss me. Uh oh! I totally would have if not for two things: I had just kissed his friend all night, and one of my friends thinks he's cute so he's off limits.

After chatting for a while I went to look for the first guy, but he was gone. I texted him and he said he was going to say goodbye, but saw me talking to the other guy and left.

After that we all went to Boston Pizza and I went home.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm Sick

I feel like I'm dying. Yesterday I started to have a bit of a sore throat around 3, and by 8 I had a full-blown cold. I went to bed at like 9:30... and stayed there until 10:30 the next morning. Yup, 13 hours. Luckily my first class was cancelled. I still had to go to school since I had clinic though.

Anyways, this is what I've put into my system today: Chai latte, 4 cold pills, 9 Cold FX, 3 Vitamin C with Echinacea, a Grapple (grape flavoured apple), a 90 calorie pack of granola bites, half a Hi-Five, a bottle of water and 2 Tylenol.

Speech Speech!!

Thought I'd share with you all a speech I did for my Professionalism and Communications class. I got 30/30 BTW.

Here is is... How To Get Free Drinks:

Who here likes free drinks? I know I do. The way I see it nothing’s better than a vodka, water, lime juice... than a free vodka, water, and lime juice. I’m a pro at getting free drinks and I’m here to help you learn how to do it too. This may be applicable mainly to the ladies of the class, but guys, you can try it out. It all comes down to the 5W’s you learned in elementary school: who, what, where, when and why.

Let’s start with “who,” because it’s the most important. It’s all about who you go to the bar with, and who you know. If you go to the bar with a bunch of girls you may not have to wait in line, but ladies hold tight to their purse strings… you need to go to the bar with some boys! Whether they have great paying jobs, or just like to show off like they do, you’ll get at least one free drink. Secondly, get to know the bartender. This is the #1 way to get free drinks (just don’t forget to tip!) If you don’t already know one, that’s ok, chat him up, ask him about his night, be friendly, and keep going back to the same bartender. A free drink is sure to follow.

Now, let’s move onto “what.” When a guy asks you what you want to drink keep it simple. Guys don’t want to order you a double Grey Goose martini, shaken with a twist of lemon and three maraschino cherries. They don’t want to say it, much less pay for it. Stick to simple drinks like rum and coke or vodka and seven-up. Also, go for the $3 drink special and you’re likely to get a second.

The “where” is important if you’re trying to scam drinks off random guys. In my experience, where you stand in proximity to the bar is directly correlated to free drink proposals. You’re right there and you look good, why wouldn’t they offer? Just stand by the bar, make eye contact and smile.

Let’s talk about the “when.” Near the end of the night is the best time to get free drinks. Why? Men are more likely to spend more when they’re a little inebriated. Plus, everyone looks better through “drunk goggles” and that includes you! This is when they’re also likely to order full trays of shots or highballs that they can’t keep track of. Go ahead and grab one (or more) off the table. Someone once pointed out to me, it’s not stealing if it’s on your groups’ table! Sharing is caring!

The “why” of getting free drinks is interesting. Why would someone spend their hard earned cash on buying you a drink? Because you are hot, and you have a great attitude! Have fun, be open and talk to strangers. Don’t scowl and stand in a huddle with your girlfriends. The main reason a man will buy you a drink is because he likes you, so be likeable.

Now, with all this knowledge of how to get free drinks it’s important to use your powers for good, not evil. There are some points of etiquette you must remember:

1. Never ask for a free drink, it’s tacky! Saying “it’s my birthday” however is allowed, and is a very successful strategy.
2. Never assume you’ll get a free drink. Always have money with you and be willing to pay. A free drink is a bonus, not an expectation.
3. Be polite: Say thank you and stay and chat for a few minutes.
4. Safetly first: Don’t accept a drink that someone brings over to you if you don't know them, and don't put it down. Also, know your limits. Your free-drink-getting abilities may be greater than you know, and no one likes a drunken mess.

Now that you have the know-how go out and apply it! Go out, have fun and remember it’s all about attitude. If worse comes to worse and none of my tips work I have a full-proof plan for you. Hop the next flight to Vegas, sit at the nearest roulette table and put a grand on red. Free drinks are sure to follow, I guarantee it!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

SORRY in advance... This is gross but I had to say it

Today I took 3 poops in the period of 8 hours. They weren't little either. Probably all together they were about the length of my arm. No shit. (Pun intentional)

Sunday, May 18, 2008

WTF??!!

Man Fined for Buckling in Beer, Leaving Kid Loose
Police "shocked and appalled" after Australian leaves 5-year-old on car floor

Associated Press
Updated 5:58 a.m. PT, Tues., May. 13, 2008

DARWIN, Australia - An Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car’s floor, police said Tuesday.

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over the unregistered car Friday in the central Australian town of Alice Springs.

The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car’s floor.

“The child was sitting in the lump in the center, unrestrained,” Burnett told reporters Tuesday.

“I haven’t ever seen something like this before,” he said. “This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child.”

The driver was fined 750 Australian dollars — about $710 — for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and for failing to ensure a child was wearing a safety belt.

balance

When I was driving home on Friday this guy in the HOV gave me the wink, nod and smile.

Guess that balances out tongue-sticking-out kid!

Friday, May 16, 2008

nyah-nyah

Yesterday when I was driving home this kid stuck his head out the window of the car his mom was driving and stuck his tongue out at me.

Thanks kid. As if my life wasn't sad enough right now.

The Mission

So, Jaelene gave me a mission (should I choose to accept it.) It's Jaelene and Danielle's summer mission of finding boyfriends.

This is how it works: since we haven't met the best guys so far, we need to go where the good ones are. Downtown in nice restaurants. Where they wear suits and have good jobs and money. Most importantly... they AREN'T bartenders!!!

First mission should be Friday the 30th. I'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

JT No Mo

It dawned on me that I haven't updated everyone on the JT situation. I have a bit of new info since last time. I had pretty much given up on him and his no phone calls... but then a few things happened that made me wonder:

I went to the club one night with some friends, and he happened to be working, so I went to the bar and said hi. Then he grabbed me over the bar and kissed me right on the lips in front of everyone! I was kind of stunned... in a good way... and started to get my hopes up again...But then STILL no call from him. I was confused!

Then my friend who introduced us had a lil talk with JT. He mentioned to her that he thought I might be mad at him, since he made me wait for a while the last time we had hung out, and that I had left the club without saying goodbye. I thought it all might be a misunderstanding, didn't want him thinking I was mad at him, and wanted to give him another chance. I'm not always the best with words, so I wrote him a long message on Facebook. Here it is:

Hey you... I thought I'd write you because I just need to get this off my mind. I had a lil chat with [my friend] the other day and there were a few things I just wanted to clear up with you.

I told you before that I don't really understand you... and honestly, that still stands. I just feel like I get such mixed messages and I don't know if you like me or not... so after not hearing from you for a while I just kinda gave up.

I was never mad at you for making me wait that night. Like I'd be mad at someone for making me wait while they visit their friend in the hospital!

So I called you a few days later and we talked for a bit, but then you had to go. Which was how it was every time I called. So I decided I'd just let you call me instead... and you didn't.

I was going to give up... but then my parents left town so I threw one more text out there, something like "What are you doing weds night? Wanna come over?" and heard nothing back. That's about all the rejection I can take so at that point I pretty much assumed you weren't interested.

When I saw you at the club I was pleasantly surprised when you grabbed me and kissed me over the bar. I was like "Ok he just kissed me in public... that's gotta mean something!" I left without saying goodbye 'cause I didn't feel well and took off. But then I STILL never heard from you.

I didn't want to be crazy stalker girl who keeps bothering a guy who doesn't care so I stopped calling. I know that you are busy, but it takes 30 secs to throw a text out there just to say hi. I don't expect a lot.

Part of this was my mistake for playing games and seeing how long it would take you to call. I've come to the realization that I'm fooling myself when I try to play it cool, because I'm not nonchalant, I'm kind of intense. That's just me. I just wanted you to know where I'm coming from, and that I'm not mad at you.

If you wanna talk or hang out or whatever I'd love to hear from you... And hear what you think about this long-ass letter I just wrote. If not I'm sure I'll see you around.

xoxo Danielle

I thought it was pretty good and I said everything I needed to say.

He didn't reply.

I'm probably going to see him Saturday night when I'm out for my friend's birthday party. We'll see how that is. Maybe I'll make out with another guy in front of him. Just an idea :)

Friday, May 02, 2008

Jayme Jayme Bo Bayme Banana Fanna Fo Fayme

According to my sister one of my most loyal readers, Ms. Jayme Bubel, thought that I should pay homage to her for all the time and effort she's put in keeping up with my crazy-ass love life. Well here it is.

I was thinking about what I should say about Jayme, but her life is pretty much as boring as my sister's... except she went to Europe and hung around with a lotta gay dudes, which was pretty cool. I made use of Google Image to search for "Jayme" instead and put together a little tribute hopefully she will enjoy.

Here it is: The Totally Untrue History of Jayme Bubel:

Mere weeks after being born, Jayme's overbearing stage mother forced her into the pagent circuit where she went on to win the title of "Miss Gorilla Vacuum Shop Abbotsford" in the years 1995 through 2008. After years of dressing up as Minnie Mouse and the Care Bears though, Jayme felt that she needed to rebel. She became a porn star instead. What is she doing with those cupcakes?
Jayme's porn career ended quickly however, when she got into a car accident onher way to pole dancing class and woke up as a pomeranian.

She had one thing to say: "Rufff.... Arrrr.... Yelp... Yelppp!" which roughly translates into "Get me out of this #$%$%$ dog body! I'm trapped! Heeeelllllp!!"
Jayme's friends knew where to turn. To Jesus Mushroom Guy. He gave Jayme some of his "special" mushrooms and she turned back into a human from a dog. With one difference though: She was a 13-year-old Jew. As a Jew she had lots of money, so she immediately headed to South Beach to celebrate her becoming a woman in a Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Oy Veh!
Fast forward a few years and she got married to a cute guy whose name also happened to be Jayme. Who knew?
The End!
PS. Please check out Jayme's IMDB site. She needs some star power people! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2665833/filmotype

Thursday, May 01, 2008

A comic genious... and cute?

No people, I'm not talking about myself! But thanks for thinking of me!

I'm talking about Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy... The best cartoon ever. (Well it's tied with The Little Mermaid.)

Nicole was watching Extra the other day and he was on there doing an interview. I had expected him to look kinda Peter Griffin-esque... But he's actually pretty cute!

However, she did point out that he does bear a slight resemblance to Christopher Knight aka Peter Brady.

Hey Seth... If you see this... Call me!