Tuesday, December 30, 2008

not-so-single danielle?

The unthinkable has happened! Well, kinda.

I had a boyfriend! Well, kinda.

It was about a month... so that totally counts right?

Anyways here are the deets:

The dude, whom I will refer to as Nick Lachey, was gorgeous. I mean super good looking in a way that every time I saw him again I was like "Sigh... Thank goodness he's as good looking as the last time I saw him." I think if he hit the gym a little more and waxed his chest he could be an underwear model. I'm not kidding!

He also had a steady job, a nice condo, a truck, was close with his family and was funny and fun.

We had an awesome first date... and then started hanging out a few times a week after that. We watched movies and had Chinese food and played Playstation. We got along really well and everything seemed to be going really great. We even went to each other's Thanksgiving dinners. His mom loved me because I brought a bottle of wine and was the only kid that offered to help with the dishes.

He wasn't that good of a kisser, but I figured he would learn.

Gradually though he started doing things that just kinda bugged me:
  • He didn't really learn (see above sentence.)
  • He decided he wanted to get a job bartending at a club... just for fun when he had never bartended before and had a good-paying job.
  • He seemed to drink and drive too much. He would say he was fine, but I think he wasn't.
  • One night he was hanging out at home drinking with his sister, who was drunk and passed out, so he went to the club by himself and did shots. Come on!
  • He told me that he steals drill bits from Home Depot.
  • We could never pick a movie to rent, because he didn't like movies with "too much talking" because he "couldn't follow the storyline." End quote.
  • He hadn't had a teeth cleaning in a few years. It just grossed me out. And I'm obviously a teeth person. Also his teeth were crooked, although I won't deny that the though of "I can get him braces when we get married" crossed my mind.
  • Him and his sister seemed to have one of those too-close relationships. Like that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel are dating the brother and sister that had tickle wars and took baths together. Something just seemed wrong.

Everything was adding up, to the point where I would start to get frustrated and take it out on him, even though he hadn't really done anything wrong to me personally. I just kept wanting things to would work out ... because he was just so good looking. And I was really enjoying having a boyfriend for once. I guess that will teach me to judge a book by its cover.

Anyways... Everything came to a screeching halt at Halloween. Read on...

Give it up buddy!

A week or two after I ditched Ky running for my life he decided that messaging me was a good idea after I'd ignored his last few texts and messages on Facebook. Here's how it went:

thats cool

how have u been how was ur weekend

school has been so well not fun yeah

ive tried texting to see what u were up to

must have been busy totally understandable u must be hahahame

me me ohh boy

and hey i never really got a chance to talk to u about things really clear the air


yes i was totally wrong for rushing into things i totally see that and have now for some time

a little to late ............... hey

i wish we could have become really close as friends first and then if that attraction was there let it go where it would go but yeah

i sprinted in instead of pacing myself i again apologize

i see how it could be too much too soon and overwhelmingit was a big mistake

i do so want to be friends with u and develop our friendship greatly as we barely even have much of one yet sooo

let me know what u think about that and get back to me when u have time and feel ready no rushing this time k dont worry i promise not to make it like that ever again k

it was soo wrong but yeah i hope ur parents are doing well and say hi maybe we could do dinner at the keg one night and ill get us a discount hey hahahahahaha but yeah ur dad could probably like that hahaah

and for you i hope school is going well and im sure someone and the right someone will find u danielle ur really a kind and very attractable person who is incredibly intelligent and beautiful all at the same time

so i hope we can be alot better friends so u too can really genuinely and me too get to know each other

Yeah. I know. First of all English please! He's not ESL or anything, but I feel like I need an English-Ky dictionary! So after some careful consideration of how to get rid of him for good while being as nice about it as possible, without leading him on this is what I replied:

Ok Ky... I don't really think we have anything to talk about, or clear the air about. We dated... briefly... and it didn't work... So we decided to be friends.

Honestly though, I had to tell you to chill out with the dating because you were a little too much... and even as friends I feel smothered. It's just too much for me to handle.

You are texting me three times a weekend to hang out... and then two or three times during the week. I don't even talk to my best friends that often.

There is nothing to apologize for... so you don't need to say sorry. We are obviously just looking for different things... and I'm too independent a person for you.

Friendship isn't something you should need to force. You don't just decide... "Hey, I'm going to be friends with that person." and then make it happen. It's something that happens naturally on its own. And this is forced.

As it is right now.... I don't want to be mean, but I just need some space. If I want to hang out I'll call you.

I hope you can respect how I feel. I think you are a nice guy, and will make some girl happy someday, it just won't be me.

Whatta ya think? To the point but hopefully not too bitchy?

Around this point he actually messaged me another message saying that he had lost his phone and all his numbers and would I please send him both my home and cell digits. Wow... sometimes I think there really is a God!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Reverse Dating Racism

Reverse racism. Well first off I don't like the word. There is nothing reverse about it. Why is it racism when it's going from a white person to anyone else and reverse racism when someone is racist against a white person? Racism is the act of judging a person based on their race, whatever it is. The way I see it, either way it's just racism.

Anyways, with that out of the way I'd like to ask why there aren't any dating websites dedicated to white people? Please see the plethora of non-white person dating sites below:

Guess what's missing from these ads? Blonde haired, blue eyed girls, that's what! But do you think I could go and invent a whites-only dating site? Nope! Racism at it's best!

Theo Tams, Canadian Idol

My sister's husband's cousin won Canadian Idol this year. His name is Theo Tams, and he's actually really good.

I know no one really watches that show and the winners go nowhere except maybe to play concerts at "Gabby's", hence they aren't even going to make Canadian Idol anymore... but he's an awesome singer, not to mention musician. He's classically trained in piano, and self-taught in guitar.

If you're one of those people who just watch the first few rounds to see all the shitty singers you may recognize him as the sweaty armpit guy.

In one of the first rounds he sang "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlan and it brings on goosebumps.

As Idol went on I told everyone to vote. I even got one of the old dentists at my school to vote... Even though she only did it because she thought he was MY cousin... Not my "cousin-in law" that I haven't actually met yet.

For the finale we had my sister's husband's whole family over to watch on our big screen and we were all screaming when he won.

I finally heard his song on the radio the other day (QMFM baby... love it!) Well, the song is called Sing, and it kinda sucks... but it's the Idol song, so what do you expect. Hopefully his CD to come will display his true talent.

Here some of his performances that don't suck:

Besides these there are a huge amount on YouTube... just search him.

He's actually pretty cute too. Even though he kinda looks like my brother-in-law. Jury's still out on straight vs gay. Well, when I say that I mean I don't know, he probably does.

The Aftermath

After Mega Keg Ky called and wanted me to stop by because he had something to ask/tell me, and it was really important.

So, I stopped at Ky's house after school and he did just what I thought he was going to do: asked me to be his girlfriend.

It was a little premature, considering that we had only gone on 2 dates, but he was cute and sweet and I agreed that although I didn't want a title yet that we could be exclusive and see where it went.

I also pointed out my TWO hickeys and told him that he gave me them and that he better not do it again. So what if that was a bit of an embellishment? It was a half-truth!

A few days went by... and I started to feel smothered. He called constantly, and always wanted to hang out. It also really bothered me that he was Mr-glass-half-full and loved EVERYTHING. He thought he was a good singer, he told me how his brother is fantastic at playing the tuba, he complimented everything I said and did, for example if I recognized a song on the radio he was super impressed, he liked every movie... even dance movies like Stomp the Yard. He would agree with pretty much everything I said and do everything I told him to. I mean, I admit I'm a bit of an attention whore, and also pretty bossy, so you'd think I'd enjoy this... but it was just too much.

That weekend I went out to the Roxy with some girlfriends and had told him that he could stop by if he wanted. He was all over me that night... by my side, holding my hand (and yet, didn't buy me one drink... must have spend it all on his $50,000 super Asian car.) I escaped for a few minutes with the girlfriend of his friend to grab a drink, where I happened to mention that it was all a lot to handle. After a while I went off to dance with the girls... He came up to me, and says "So, I hear you think I'm clingy!"

I refused to have a heart-to-heart with him on the dance floor at a club, so I dragged him into the corner and we had a chat. I told him that it was all too much for me and I was feeling smothered and needed some space etc... and he told me he would back off. Everything seemed ok.

I went off to dance with the girls again and he walked up and was like "I'm leaving!" and took off. He seemed kinda peeved, but I didn't really care.

We left the club about a half hour later and I see like 2 missed calls and a few texts from him. They were saying things like did I even want him there that night and that he deserved an explaination. I wrote back that these texts were an example of what we had JUST talked about and he was proving my point.

Then he phoned me and I had to take about 40 minutes to dump him. He just wasn't getting it. And we had only been together for like a week and a half!! It was horrible.

Word to the wise: watch the stalker signs. If he seems too into you at the beginning, RUN!


Wow... this is hard. Those postings only take us until the end of August. I really need to lay off the booze if I want these memories to be clear!

Mega Keg

A friend of mine that works for Coors Light invited me and a girlfriend, along with two other guy friends, to come out to Molson Canadian MegaKeg. It's one of those win-to-get-in parties, but apparently they like a few extra gals so it's not too much of a sausage fest.

We were supposed to take a bus from Vancouver, and the 2 boys did, but my girlfriend had to work, so we drove out to the Harrison Hot Springs Hotel ourselves, sipping disgusting energy drinks with WAY too much vodka in them. As we pulled up we saw some guys checking into the hotel who looked kinda familiar. I was like "Oh, apparently the mystery band is GOB." I would also like to mention that the front door guy was cute.

It was just PISSING rain and everyone was out back soaked and drunk. And the hotel rooms weren't ready yet... So what did we do? Well drink the vodka we'd packed of course!

We got settled and I realized that I knew one of the guys in the hotel room below us... so we went down to their room just long enough to drink their booze and eat their pizza. Yum.

After dinner and it was time for the mystery band concert. It was not great, but who cares, it was free. I spent most of the time talking to this one cute guy from Kelowna. Until my friend who had gotten us the tix showed up and then all of a sudden I was making out with him all night.

We went up to his room for a drink and hung out on the balcony, and I refused to sleep with him and he pinned me down and gave me a huge hickey. That made two hickeys I had gotten in like 5 days from two different guys. I don't know if that makes me a slut or just unfortunate.

I had totally lost my girlfriend, then found her, then got kicked out of my room so she could do it all night with one of my guy friends. I ended up sleeping in a room with the other... who was super chatty and crawled into bed with me. I waited for him to fall asleep and then slept in the other bed. I need my space!

We woke up in the morning and dragged our asses to IHOP for some breakie. The best thing was what the waitress offered us to drink, "Coffee, Coke, Beer?" Wow...

Can't wait til next year!

New guy: Ky ... yep, it rhymes.

I guess I should start with a guy we shall call Ky. We went out on a first date which was really great. We met for coffee, then headed to Wonderland (yep, refuse to call it "Castle Fun Park") to play some mini golf, then went out for a nice dinner and finished the night with a movie. It was one of those great first dates that just goes forever. At the end he kissed me once, a little peck, and told me that's all I get.

I guess it was foreshadowing when he told me he wanted to hang out the next night, but it just seemed cute at the time.

We hung out the next night and everything was great again. We watched another movie all cuddled up on the couch... and did some major making out 'til like 3 in the morning.

The next day he wanted to hang out AGAIN, but I went to a wedding (ahem JAYME shout out!) The wedding was nice and they had a chocolate fountain and my parents kept trying to hook me up with the sons of the other parents they were sitting with. One of the sons used to change my oil all the time at Great Canadian Oil Change in Abby.

I didn't see Ky for a day or two because I was busy with school (during which someone pointed out that I had a huge hickey on my neck... Great! I somehow for the wedding had not even noticed it was there, but coincidentally had done a side ponytail) ... and then I went away to Molson Canadian Megakeg.


I am offically finished school. Well about 10 days ago now. And that means I have a lot of time on my hands to actually blog. Try not to get confused... but the next few posts happened over the span of about 6 months. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the last half year of my life...

Friday, November 28, 2008

Welcome Back Me!

Well it's been just over two months now and I have been a SLACKER! I really want to get into blogging again... and I still have ramdom stuff happen all the time and I say to myself..."Me, put this in my blog!" But then I don't do it because I'm too stressed and/or tired.

Well guess what I've discovered... sleeping pills!! YAYYYYY!! I actually CAN get a normal night's sleep instead of 4 hours of tossing and turning and overthinking every detail of my life. I also have just over 2 weeks of school left (that's assuming I pass)... so after that things should calm down a bit and I can update about the last 2 months.

PS. Yes... Still single. And Yes... lots of boys to tell you about ;)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

My Video Musique

While I was on my break from school I was in a music video. No shit. It wasn't a GOOD music video, but still.

This girl I know Ayla, had been cast as the "hot girl" in a video and asked me and Jae if we wanted to come along. All we had to do was dance in the background with fake martinis (Unsweetened Koolaid... ew) but it was still fun.

I'm not sure of the names of the rappers, but it was two 19-year-olds. One of them was kinda cute. The one without the braces that is.

The name of the song is Vancity Summer and it's set to come out next summer. I guess it was kinda late in August for a summer jam.

Anyways here's a pic of us girls, and also a "Behind the Scenes" of the set. Yes, that is Metrotown. (In the video it's apparently going to be in someone's mansion.)

Behind the Scenes: http://www.new.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=22335693291

Pastor Kelly

Having our cousin Kelly, the post-pastor, come to perform my sister's wedding ceremony was really an eye opener. We were starting to get closer to him and his wife, as they'd come to stay a few times, but I never really knew how he stood on religion.

After talking to him about it though I developed a new respect. While although he obviously believes in God, he doesn't believe everything in the bible, or take it all literally. He believes that the stories in the bible are metaphors of good ways to live our lives.

He also doesn't neccessarily believe that Jesus is the divine son of God. Back in ancient times "Born of a virgin" meant that a woman got pregnant the first time she had sex, meaning she was a virgin before. So Mary may have been a virg before she boinked Joseph. Also, some of the things they call Jesus, like "Lord" and "The King of Kings" and "The Son of God" are things they used to call Casear.

He's also done a lot of reasearch about back when they put together the King James version of the bible (the one basically everyone uses today) and was telling me about the crazy killings and torture and hypocrasy that was going on, while they were writing a book about how to be "good." It's all pretty crazy.

Back when he was a pastor (he left BTW because he didn't feel right preaching what they wanted him to preach, when he didn't believe it all) he did a sermon about some of this stuff, causing some people to even leave the church. It's crazy.

I mean, I think that people can believe what they want. But I have a lot more respect for them when they think for themselves and use logic and don't just blindly follow what someone else tells them.

Nicole's Wedding

Ok so yeah, I'm like almost 2 months late... but whatever. I know Nic will kill me if I don't blog about it, and I just need to say: Nicole's wedding was awesome!

We got up at 8 in the morning to get our hair done, and then headed to Spa Utopia for makeup. We all got those mini eyelash extensions and they really made our eyes pop. Once we got back to the house though my hair was already coming out. (Yeah, that was GREAT of the hairdresser to promise me that her flat-iron curls would stay in when I told her I doubted it. Total hours it lasted=2). Anyways, I had to get the other girl to fix my hair, and it finally looked great. And felt crunchy. You know, the real bridesmaid look.

We got Nicole dressed, which went fairly smoothly, except for her busting the waist of her crinoline and my aunt had to crawl under there to fix it, poor lady.

I was super nervous all morning, and heading to the wedding, but once we were walking down the aisle everything was ok.

As I started to walk the first thing I noticed was Nicole's soon to be husband all teary-eyed... and that set me off good. I sniffled through the entire ceremony, and half of the reception.

The ceremony was short and sweet. Our second cousin Kelly (former pastor, now car salesman... go figure) performed the ceremony.

After that we headed out for pics, with only a quick stop at the liquor store, where needless to say we created a little stir.

As we pulled into the gardens for our pics we noticed one thing. Another bridal party had just shown up too, and they had almost the same colours as us. It was like the showdown of the two networks in Anchorman. We were way hotter than them though. For real. Ben was like "That is a sad day in that man's life."

After pics we headed to the reception. Dinner was delicious. The best part was the buns strangely enough. At the recpetion I also got to show off my date: Prom Ken. He's dreamy!

Then it was speeches. My dad made a short, cute speech... and then Ben's parents made a super long speech about God and blah blah blah. I was like this wedding is supposed to be about celebrating their love for each other, not for a mythical creature. Then it was time for my speech. For those of you who couldn't hear me over the crying (I could barely even read, it was all swimming before my eyes), here is a copy:

Everyone who knows Nicole knows that although Ben may be her second love, her first was, and still is television. So I thought this poem would be appropriate.

by Miss Carrie Bradshaw, or should I saw Mrs John James Preston:

His hello was the end of her endings,
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle.
His hand would be hers to hold forever,
His forever was as simple as her smile.

An ocean couldn’t prevent it.
A New York minute wouldn’t let it pass.
Does the universe decide for us,
Which love will fade and which will last.

He said she was what was missing.
She said instantly she knew.
She was a question to be answered.
And his answer was “I do.”

After that it was time to dance and drink. I wasn't too drunk, but that perfect drunk where everything is SUPER fun, but you don't barf. The other bridesmaids and I really put on a show when the Grease Megamix came on. My uncle told me it was worth the price of admission.

After the wedding (after a quick McDonald's run) we all headed home. Then Nicole and Ben got changed, opened their cards ($$$) and headed out for their honeymoon. My little sister was officially married and out of the house.


Saturday, September 06, 2008

Nic's Stagette

I had the pleasure of planning my sister's stagette party, and since she is lame and refused to go see the man-strippers it was a bit of a challenge. I decided on pole dancing. For those of you who haven't been it's super fun, but hard! It's a real workout; my legs were sore for 3-4 days after. We did pole work, and then donned some boas and did lap dances for each other.

After the pole-dancing we headed to Sammy's for some food and drinks. This one guy (whose name is actually Guy) kept buying shots for the whole table. Tequila, Blow Jobs, Jager Bombs... they kept on coming! Then he was bussing the table too.

The manager brought out a Muff Dive for my sister to do off him, which was hilarious. She was like "DON'T TELL BEN!!"

After that we headed home and hung out for a bit. I wanted to hit up the club but Nicole would rather pass out. All in all it was a pretty fun nite.

I'm Baaaack!!!

Well it's been a little over a month since I last posted... and it's been hectic. Finals, then Nicole's wedding, then starting school again... And the longer since I've posted the harder it is to make myself go back and do it. Things will happen and I'll be like "Oh, I should blog about that," and then it's so long that I totally forget. Anyways I'm back and the next few posts will be a bit of a recap of what's happened in the last month.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Thong Th Thong Thong Thong ...

Guess what the song is called that the bridesmaids are walking down the aisle to at my sister's wedding?

~ ~ Air on the G String ~ ~

I couldn't make that up if I tried.


Apparently hot friend is out. Jae wants a puppy instead of a boyfriend. Who can blame her?

Hair "Down There"

Last night my sister made a comment that you could see everything under my pajama shorts and that it was super hairy. It is NOT!!! Give me a break if I was too busy studying this week to do any hedge trimming. Not like anyone's seeing it lately anyways! And it was only a few days worth. She's a hairdresser, she should know better! And I still refuse to wear panties under my pj's.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Blast from the Past

I love Facebook. I love just how when I've given up on guys one randomly always pops into my life.

I had a friend (we're not friends anymore... we "broke up") that I used to always double date with back in high school. We went through probably 3-4 different sets of boyfriends always double dating. One of them added me to FB the other day.

We got to talking and realized that back in grade 10 we both had huge crushes on each other. Chatted for a while and he was super funny and nice. (Which was funny, 'cause I didn't remember his personality at all from back then, just his looks.) We started texting too, all day every day, and decided to meet up.

I went downtown and met up with him and we went and watched the Celebration of Light (ya, I think thats what it's called now.) We were on the Milestone's patio, which is the way to do it, I tell ya! We got along, and he was kinda cute (but looked totally different than 8 years ago.) After that we went to his place and watched tv on his computer and cuddled. On the way home he texted me that he really wanted to kiss me. I was like "haha maybe next time ;)"

We met up again with some friends on Saturday and watched the fireworks from his rooftop balcobny. It was great, there's a pool and everything and I drank a whole bottle of wine. I kinda realized that nothing was gonna happen between us, and at one point I stayed there and he went to the bar... but Jae did seem to hit it off with his hot friend. We'll see where that goes.

Newfie Update

After the date with the guy who seemed to love me and never called I was super confused. After 2 weeks I figured I had nothing to lose so I emailed him to see what the deal was. This is what I wrote:

Sooo... it's been about 2 weeks now and I haven't heard from you. I'm a smart girl, so I can take a hint but one thing is bothering me, only because I'm a super curious person that needs to know everything. That thing is why.

Was it my "anger issues?" Do you think I'm ugly? Do you think I'm a bitch? Was it because I didn't stay for a bit at your place? Did I make too much fun of you? Did you find a new gf? I thought we had a good time and you seemed pretty into me. I just really don't get it.

I kinda thought that after writing back and forth for a month we'd at least be friends. I actually miss the long-ass emails that make me sit and laugh out loud. But this isn't me trying to start up communication again if you don't want to.

I would just really for you to please tell me why, for future reference. We all make mistakes, and I like to learn from mine.

I'm a big girl. I can handle honesty.

I had no idea if I'd hear back from him or not, since guys avoid confrontation like the plague, but a few minutes later this came through:

Honestly hunny you have it all wrong!

I was actually feeling really bad about how long it's been since I've contacted you. I've been retardedly (abnormally even) busy with my birthday week (seriously, haven't had a night at home since we hung out), but even then I should have called you're right.

To be 100% honest, I was just waiting for me to find the right truck, so I'd be able to come out there and not have you have to drive in. I thought it would be like 2 days, but that turned into 2 weeks (and is probably gonna be for another week now gahhh). You sent me a message that said "so when you coming out to Langley to visit me"...so in my mind I thought that I couldn't write you back until I had, you know, AN ANSWER on that haha. Stupid I know. I should've contacted you like a day after we hung out, regardless of me having transportation.

Please consider that 100% my dumb fault. You're rad.

I think your anger issue was cute. I think you're beautiful. There were a few times when we were hanging that I felt liek I was staring so I had to stop myself. I don't think you're a bitch. I didn't find a new gf. You didn't make fun of me too much.

I will admit, I did find it rather sudden that you wanted to take off instead of hang out with me. I'm sure you just thought I was being a "guy" and wanted to try to hook up, but that's not it at all. After we had the wine at Lickerish I thought we were gonna go back to my place, hang out and then as soon as we walk in the door you're like "I'm gonna get going"...I was wondering "did I do something wrong?". I thought 100% that I was in "friend" territory there and you didn't like me at all. I mean not to be a doucheberry but I was at least thinkign I'd get a good night kiss on the cheek haha.

Please don't beat yourself up or anything, you're great. I'd love to rekindle our talking and hang out again, but to summarize, I felt:

1. that you only liked me as a friend
2. that I should be a man and be able to go out there

That make sense?

Write me back. If you can't forgive me for being a dumbass I 100% understand.

Again, I apologize, you deserve better. If you decide you wanna give me a second chance, let me know.

So yeah... I was like hmmm ok maybe I should give the guy a chance. So I wrote him again:

Well, I'm glad you wrote back. I totally understand your points but I have to say that you over-analyze things like a girl :)

I'm also glad you admit that busy isn't an excuse for not calling.

Even if you don't have a truck yet I could have come to see you again. If you NEVER planned on having a vehicle it would be different, because it's a huge turn-off having to be a guy's chauffer, or driving to see someone all the time and they never make the effort, but I can understand that you are looking and haven't found one yet.

The reason I didn't stay and hang out was that it was like 1:30 already and I was tired. If I hated you I would have been like "Ok well I should get going" a LOT earlier than that.

As for the no kiss... Well you were the one that gave me the quickest hug ever and then dissapeared. I'm pretty sure you could have gotten a cheek kiss if you had lingered a little haha.

Also... I don't really know what to say about the friend zone. You are the one that said you don't even think of a girl another way until you start as friends. All I know is that I enjoyed hanging out with you, whether its as friends or more. And I definitely wanted to hang out again, and see where it goes.

Anyways I'd like to hang out again. Gimme a call whenever and we can figure something out. But you SO owe me. I'm thinking flowers... or a massage... or both :)


ps. I like lillies and orchids ;)

After this I didn't hear from him for another week. And did he write back? No. He messaged me on that new little Facebook chat thingy. And I was kind of a bitch to him. He was like "What are you doing this weekend" and I told him I was busy studying for the next 3 weeks. He was like "Um ok talk to you in 3 weeks then" or something like that. I knew I was being bitchy, but I'd reached the point of that I had spent too much time waiting around for him and I didn't really care anymore.

I just saw his Pemberton pics though and he looked pretty cute. Oh me!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

UCLA Study

A very interesting study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Baby on Board

We all know that I spend a lot of time driving on the freeway. Well, I have a new pet peeve.

Lately there are people everywhere with "Baby on Board" and "Baby in Car" signs in their rear windshield. First off... Where are all these babies coming from? Well I know WHERE, but I mean what is this, baby boom #2?

The signs aren't what bugs me. Or the babies. What really yanks my chain (I was looking for a good way of saying pisses me off withough saying pisses me off) is that the people with these signs on their cars drive like dangerous assholes.

Yep, you should definitely cut me off, and because of the sign I shouldn't rear end you. Speeding and cutting lane to lane? Totally safe... You have a SIGN! Why warn other people to drive carefully if you are going to drive like an ass. It's YOUR baby... protect it dumbass!

Just as bad are the people who smoke with their kids in the car. Doesn't matter if the window is down. Go ahead and give yourself lung cancer, but please, please keep it away from the baby!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday night Date night

A few fridays ago I went out on a date with this guy. Well, we said it was as friends, but it was pretty obviously a date. He's pretty cute, 27 years old, went to McGill, smart, funny, is from Newfoundland. (No accent.)

I met him at his place downtown. We parked my car and then decided that since it was such a gorgeous day we'd just walk around English Bay and get some gelato and something to eat and drink. We also got the chance to watch a huge herd of people on bikes ride around. That was kinda cool.

He was a total gentleman. He carried my coat around for me, and held it to help me put it on when it got chilly. He paid for everything. He offered my his arm to link while we walked. He held doors and even my chair for me.

I thought we had a good time. We talked about past relationships, how we don't want booty calls, how Vancouver guys are useless and can't even change a tire, he even asked me what I want to name my kids. (His were Cecelia for a girl and some Edjj-a-ma-something after some sports dude for a boy... yah, worst names ever.)

He kept telling me how pretty I was and that I had nice eyes and was like "I don't understand how you are not taken by now." At one point I was looking at him and he was smiling and I was like "What?" and he said "This is going to sound totally cheesy, but I'm just smiling because you are pretty." He also kept touching my arm and hand etc, even after he had said that he isn't a touchy person, unless he likes someone. We had also been writing each other some really long, funny, messages on Facebook, and he was like "You better keep writing me those messages, I love them!"

Later on we decided to grab a bottle of wine and head down to the beach. He gave me a hoodie to wear. (Sooo comfy and it was a snowboarding hoodie so it had these awesome thumb holes in the cuff. I'm easily impressed.) Well the liquor store was closed, so we sat on a patio on Davie and people watched.

Around 1:00 we decided it was time to go. We went back up to his place and grabbed my jacket. He was like "Are you ok to drive, you can stay here for a bit." But I was fine to drive and it was late, so he walked me down to my car and gave me a hug.

I never heard from him again. I don't get it.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

UTI ?!?

I just saw a commercial on TV for the "Universal Training Institute" or "UTI."

I don't know about you, but if I had a college I'm pretty sure I wouldn't use the same abbreviation as for a bladder infection.

Saturday, July 05, 2008


Today my mom asked me to help her put on a CD (because she is technology illiterate.)

Apparently her and my dad hadn't listened to any music in the living room for a while, because once I helped her press all the right buttons, what comes blaring out...

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comit and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen!"


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Jayme hates "The Hills"

Ladies and gentlemen... Our guest writer today is a devoted blog reader, and has always wanted a posting of her own. Please give a warm welcome to Ms. Jayme Bubel:

I work a lot and go to school so I do not watch a lot of television. Still, I have heard of The Hills and when I occasionally flip through the channels I have seen some of its “cast” on different chat shows. It's sad, but I actually see them enough to know who Spencer and Heidi are and that Heidi hates someone else named LC. I’m pretty sure that The Hills features some of the “cast” from Laguna Beach. This means that The Hills is a show about talentless, whiny, augmented young things that moved from a place called Laguna Beach to some place that has hills (Hollywood maybe?) where they continue to be talentless and whiny but actually manage to look more augmented.

Although I feel blessed that I have the power to change the channel, it still bothers me to think that these people exist, that they make tons of money, and that they are considered “cool” but some teenagers. Furthermore, it pisses me off that people like teachers, paramedics and foster parents make so little when smarmy douche bags like this Spencer guy make thousands just to show up at a club. However, if foster parents and teachers did make a lot of money and got all the thanks that they deserve, then losers like Spencer and Heidi would want to do these things instead of acting on boring reality shows and making shitty music. Although the money issue still bothers me, I am glad that these people gravitate towards the entertainment industry. I can only imagine if they had these other jobs. Heidi’s students would all be as stupid as Miss South Carolina and Spencer would request foster children with frosted tips in their hair.

Anyway, this is what made me think of these losers once again. Go Letterman!

Thanks Jayme!
I'd just like to say one thing in closing. Go team Lauren!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Nap Duos

As I was sitting at Moxies at lunch today (Aside... I invented the BEST sandwich ever. Kitsilano Chicken Sandwich, but with tzatziki instead of tomato sauce. It's grilled chicken breast, melted cheese, peppers and asparagus, with tzatziki and wrapped in a pita. I might be drooling)... Oh yes, back to the story.

I mentioned that I needed a nap, and that I hadn't taken one yesterday. Then I was like "Oh yeah. I kinda did, with Cerina."

Well of course that got the guys going. "You took a nap with a girl? Did you have a pillow fight too?"

I told them that I take naps with all my girlfriends and that it's totally normal for girls.

One time I was even in line at Save-On with Jae buying some food to make ourselves dinner. I said to her "We're running kind of late, I don't know if we're going to have time to take our nap." The elderly gentleman in front of us gave us a look like "I can't believe it, there are real, live lesbians in line with me."

I asked the other girl at our table if she took naps with her girlfriend and she said no and gave me the strangest look.

So then I asked the waitress and she said yes, she does. At least I'm not 100% crazy.

Ladies... Do you nap with your friends?


Since our friend Teddy was out of town my friend Cerina said that she'd dogsit for him. His dogs are two Shitzus named Luke and Leia (because they're brother and sister.) We were kind of running late heading over to see them, and they live all the way up the hill at SFU. I'd like to mention though, that our directions were bad. Would have been nice of Ted to mention that there are TWO Broadways we were supposed to pass!

Anyways we're chugging our way up the hill... and she's like "Don't worry Luke and Leia... Han Solo and Chewbacca are coming!" And then mentioning that she was Han... Making me of course, Chewy. There was only one thing to do. Make wookie sounds. All the way up the hill.

We couldn't breathe we were laughing so hard.


My friend Shelley's friend Jaline (pronounced the same as my Jaelene) was in Vancouver from Cangary for her birthday so we all decided to hit the town for some DRINKING... and oh did we drink.

We started the night off at this restaurant on Granville called Sanafir, which was kinda cool, 'cause instead of the usual booth we lounged and ate on a giant bed. Not the best idea in a dress though, I needed a pillow for crotch-cover. They had this really yummy taster menu and we got to try hummus, chicken satays, beef with beans, ahi tuna, these tempura sushi-type wraps etc... and dessert. Even though one of the creme brulees tasted like chicken skin. No kidding. We did convince the super-gay birthday party in the corner to give Jaline some party hats and a wand. (Don't worry, he still had his tiara and boa.)

After that we headed to the new club Tunnel. I wasn't really impressed. The bouncers were kind of a-holes to us. We got there super early at like 10, and the guy right away with attitude is like "Are you on the list?" even though we were honestly the FIRST people there, (they were just turning the music on) and there is NO line so not like it mattered anyways.

So I'm like "yep I'm on the list" and he's like "I can't find you," and then finally does, and is gonna let us in... but then they weren't going to let the one guy that was with all us girls in 'cause he's not wearing a collar, even though he's wearing dress shoes... so we all talk and we can't find him another shirt. I go talk to the guy and tell him my gf is here from Calgary and it's her b-day and he's like ok fine we'll let him in.

My friends asked me if we could get tickets to get in since we were on the list, so I asked one guy, and he's like "You need to ask the guestlist guy," so I ask the guestlist guy and he's like "I need to check," so he goes inside for a few mins and comes out and is like "No. I asked the owner and he said you need to pay."

So yeah that's about it. I guess the whole thing just seemed really disorganized and I just felt like they were giving us attitude even though I was being polite ... I wasn't even drunk and I didn't give them lip. (I'd admit if I was.) I just don't like going to a club and them making me feel like they are doing me a favour even letting me in.

We really liked one of the bartenders though. He was hot. But dumb. He messed up the computer so we had to wait for a while. At least we had something to look at.

I also wasn't a fan of the house music at Tunnel, so at 12 we bounced and headed to Tonic which was WAY more fun... And we were in the VIP section so the guys couldn't get to us (except for some 19-year-olds that managed to get in and were moshing and I was yelling "Little boys! Stop it little boys!" ... And the DJ is my friend and played Britney for me... twice. Can't beat that.

After Tonic my friend's god-brother came to pick us up and take us to I thought home, but no, we went to his buddy's loft above Gothams to drink yet more booze.

Finally we went home for a lovely 4-hour sleep before I got up and volunteered the next day. It was for the Little Mountain Community Festival... and upon coming home my sister looks at my chest and remarks: "It's funny that Danielle's wearing a shirt that says 'Little Mountains!'"

you like me, you really like me!

It's turning into PCL all over again. I've somehow become the person that gets invited to everything. From partying with the school girls last weekend, to Dawna's birthday barbeque, to Dal's birthday at the bar, to Asiya's July 1st bash.

This may sound like a good thing... and it's fun, but it's hard because I have to keep quiet about it all. People invite their little cliques (and me) and no one else and I need to keep my face shut because the other gals get mad when they find out they weren't invited. I'm not good at that! I mean, I can keep a secret (but only if someone specifially says "this is a secret") but besides that I pretty much tell everyone everything. Hence, my blog.

Man, if only I weren't so damn popular :P

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Lately there's been tonnes of Cottonwood fluff floating around in the air. Also lately it's been cold and rainy like it's December and not frickin' June.

When it's rainy and Cottonwoody I keep driving and seeing wet fluffs fly across my windshield and twice have been like "What the hell? It's snowing?"

That is all.

The Ex Files

Well people, I have some bad news. Concert guy is back with his ex-girlfriend.

It's ok though... I've started to think that dating your friends, or friends of friends in a big group isn't the best idea. Things just become awkward.

Anyhoo... I found out they were together the night of my friend's b-day bbq. We all had some food and then decided to head to the bar. He was totally rarin' to go because the girl was already there and he wanted to meet her. Well, we got there and she wasn't actually there yet... and didn't show up. We'll see how long that lasts.

Friday, May 30, 2008

I haven't heard from the concert guy since he called me. I texted him on Wednesday saying "I've been sick for 4 days straight, and I blame YOU mister!" but no reply. Few days my ass! Oh well, I'll see him on Saturday. I just don't get it. Why do I always get all these mixed signals?

Spring Showers

The day after Daniel Wesley I went to a baby shower. My friend Kristin had just had a new baby, Clayton, who is super cute.

The shower was fun, but kinda awkward. First off it was a lot of girls that I used to dance with and don't really see anymore, and they all seem super close and I feel like an outsider. Also, I just feel like I'm too young to be at these grown-up events. I'm not close to having a baby, or being married for that matter. I'm only 24!

After the shower I raced my ass out to Vancouver to work on our Table Clinics for school. Pretty much it's a glorified science project. We need to decorate a big board with pictures and information and do a little presentation. Ours looks pretty good though. It's about oral piercings and it's called "Bling Bling No-No's" I sewed a huge tongue out of a red scarf (by hand) and put some aluminum foil through it to make a piercing. It's really cool. And it took me like 2 friggin hours to sew.

While I was working guess who called me? The guy from the night before! I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him, especially the day after. We chatted for a while and he was like "I'll give you a call in the next couple of days."

Daniel Wesley

Last friday I went to the Daniel Wesley concert at Citrus. (Yes, I actually went to Citrus.) If you haven't heard of Daniel Wesley, it's ok. I didn't know who they were either, but they were actually really good. They were in the Seeds competition for The Fox last year or the year before. They sing this one song that kinda sounds like Sublime and it's like "Ooo ohh you can't look back girl, Gonna catch a wave and smoke a little ganja."

I didn't have a ticket, but it worked out well 'cause my friend Chris knows everyone and we totally bypassed the line...Even the people that did have tickets.

We got in there and had a few drinks and the concert started. The opening band was this local hip-hop group. Their own songs kinda sucked, but they did some old school stuff and we were yelling "Play something we know!"

As the night went on and the band came on my friend and I started to get a little closer. I was stoked, 'cause I'd thought he was cute for a while. We were dancing and stuff and then we ended up making out on the dance floor and slow dancing to the slow songs. (Did I ever mention that I LOVE slow dancing?) He even told me that he wants to call me and take me out on a real date. It was really cute.

He left to go to the bathroom and his friend came over and started talking to me. I should mention that his friend is cute too, really nice eyes. His friend tells me that he wants to kiss me. Uh oh! I totally would have if not for two things: I had just kissed his friend all night, and one of my friends thinks he's cute so he's off limits.

After chatting for a while I went to look for the first guy, but he was gone. I texted him and he said he was going to say goodbye, but saw me talking to the other guy and left.

After that we all went to Boston Pizza and I went home.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm Sick

I feel like I'm dying. Yesterday I started to have a bit of a sore throat around 3, and by 8 I had a full-blown cold. I went to bed at like 9:30... and stayed there until 10:30 the next morning. Yup, 13 hours. Luckily my first class was cancelled. I still had to go to school since I had clinic though.

Anyways, this is what I've put into my system today: Chai latte, 4 cold pills, 9 Cold FX, 3 Vitamin C with Echinacea, a Grapple (grape flavoured apple), a 90 calorie pack of granola bites, half a Hi-Five, a bottle of water and 2 Tylenol.

Speech Speech!!

Thought I'd share with you all a speech I did for my Professionalism and Communications class. I got 30/30 BTW.

Here is is... How To Get Free Drinks:

Who here likes free drinks? I know I do. The way I see it nothing’s better than a vodka, water, lime juice... than a free vodka, water, and lime juice. I’m a pro at getting free drinks and I’m here to help you learn how to do it too. This may be applicable mainly to the ladies of the class, but guys, you can try it out. It all comes down to the 5W’s you learned in elementary school: who, what, where, when and why.

Let’s start with “who,” because it’s the most important. It’s all about who you go to the bar with, and who you know. If you go to the bar with a bunch of girls you may not have to wait in line, but ladies hold tight to their purse strings… you need to go to the bar with some boys! Whether they have great paying jobs, or just like to show off like they do, you’ll get at least one free drink. Secondly, get to know the bartender. This is the #1 way to get free drinks (just don’t forget to tip!) If you don’t already know one, that’s ok, chat him up, ask him about his night, be friendly, and keep going back to the same bartender. A free drink is sure to follow.

Now, let’s move onto “what.” When a guy asks you what you want to drink keep it simple. Guys don’t want to order you a double Grey Goose martini, shaken with a twist of lemon and three maraschino cherries. They don’t want to say it, much less pay for it. Stick to simple drinks like rum and coke or vodka and seven-up. Also, go for the $3 drink special and you’re likely to get a second.

The “where” is important if you’re trying to scam drinks off random guys. In my experience, where you stand in proximity to the bar is directly correlated to free drink proposals. You’re right there and you look good, why wouldn’t they offer? Just stand by the bar, make eye contact and smile.

Let’s talk about the “when.” Near the end of the night is the best time to get free drinks. Why? Men are more likely to spend more when they’re a little inebriated. Plus, everyone looks better through “drunk goggles” and that includes you! This is when they’re also likely to order full trays of shots or highballs that they can’t keep track of. Go ahead and grab one (or more) off the table. Someone once pointed out to me, it’s not stealing if it’s on your groups’ table! Sharing is caring!

The “why” of getting free drinks is interesting. Why would someone spend their hard earned cash on buying you a drink? Because you are hot, and you have a great attitude! Have fun, be open and talk to strangers. Don’t scowl and stand in a huddle with your girlfriends. The main reason a man will buy you a drink is because he likes you, so be likeable.

Now, with all this knowledge of how to get free drinks it’s important to use your powers for good, not evil. There are some points of etiquette you must remember:

1. Never ask for a free drink, it’s tacky! Saying “it’s my birthday” however is allowed, and is a very successful strategy.
2. Never assume you’ll get a free drink. Always have money with you and be willing to pay. A free drink is a bonus, not an expectation.
3. Be polite: Say thank you and stay and chat for a few minutes.
4. Safetly first: Don’t accept a drink that someone brings over to you if you don't know them, and don't put it down. Also, know your limits. Your free-drink-getting abilities may be greater than you know, and no one likes a drunken mess.

Now that you have the know-how go out and apply it! Go out, have fun and remember it’s all about attitude. If worse comes to worse and none of my tips work I have a full-proof plan for you. Hop the next flight to Vegas, sit at the nearest roulette table and put a grand on red. Free drinks are sure to follow, I guarantee it!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

SORRY in advance... This is gross but I had to say it

Today I took 3 poops in the period of 8 hours. They weren't little either. Probably all together they were about the length of my arm. No shit. (Pun intentional)

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Man Fined for Buckling in Beer, Leaving Kid Loose
Police "shocked and appalled" after Australian leaves 5-year-old on car floor

Associated Press
Updated 5:58 a.m. PT, Tues., May. 13, 2008

DARWIN, Australia - An Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car’s floor, police said Tuesday.

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over the unregistered car Friday in the central Australian town of Alice Springs.

The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car’s floor.

“The child was sitting in the lump in the center, unrestrained,” Burnett told reporters Tuesday.

“I haven’t ever seen something like this before,” he said. “This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child.”

The driver was fined 750 Australian dollars — about $710 — for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and for failing to ensure a child was wearing a safety belt.


When I was driving home on Friday this guy in the HOV gave me the wink, nod and smile.

Guess that balances out tongue-sticking-out kid!

Friday, May 16, 2008


Yesterday when I was driving home this kid stuck his head out the window of the car his mom was driving and stuck his tongue out at me.

Thanks kid. As if my life wasn't sad enough right now.

The Mission

So, Jaelene gave me a mission (should I choose to accept it.) It's Jaelene and Danielle's summer mission of finding boyfriends.

This is how it works: since we haven't met the best guys so far, we need to go where the good ones are. Downtown in nice restaurants. Where they wear suits and have good jobs and money. Most importantly... they AREN'T bartenders!!!

First mission should be Friday the 30th. I'll keep you posted.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

JT No Mo

It dawned on me that I haven't updated everyone on the JT situation. I have a bit of new info since last time. I had pretty much given up on him and his no phone calls... but then a few things happened that made me wonder:

I went to the club one night with some friends, and he happened to be working, so I went to the bar and said hi. Then he grabbed me over the bar and kissed me right on the lips in front of everyone! I was kind of stunned... in a good way... and started to get my hopes up again...But then STILL no call from him. I was confused!

Then my friend who introduced us had a lil talk with JT. He mentioned to her that he thought I might be mad at him, since he made me wait for a while the last time we had hung out, and that I had left the club without saying goodbye. I thought it all might be a misunderstanding, didn't want him thinking I was mad at him, and wanted to give him another chance. I'm not always the best with words, so I wrote him a long message on Facebook. Here it is:

Hey you... I thought I'd write you because I just need to get this off my mind. I had a lil chat with [my friend] the other day and there were a few things I just wanted to clear up with you.

I told you before that I don't really understand you... and honestly, that still stands. I just feel like I get such mixed messages and I don't know if you like me or not... so after not hearing from you for a while I just kinda gave up.

I was never mad at you for making me wait that night. Like I'd be mad at someone for making me wait while they visit their friend in the hospital!

So I called you a few days later and we talked for a bit, but then you had to go. Which was how it was every time I called. So I decided I'd just let you call me instead... and you didn't.

I was going to give up... but then my parents left town so I threw one more text out there, something like "What are you doing weds night? Wanna come over?" and heard nothing back. That's about all the rejection I can take so at that point I pretty much assumed you weren't interested.

When I saw you at the club I was pleasantly surprised when you grabbed me and kissed me over the bar. I was like "Ok he just kissed me in public... that's gotta mean something!" I left without saying goodbye 'cause I didn't feel well and took off. But then I STILL never heard from you.

I didn't want to be crazy stalker girl who keeps bothering a guy who doesn't care so I stopped calling. I know that you are busy, but it takes 30 secs to throw a text out there just to say hi. I don't expect a lot.

Part of this was my mistake for playing games and seeing how long it would take you to call. I've come to the realization that I'm fooling myself when I try to play it cool, because I'm not nonchalant, I'm kind of intense. That's just me. I just wanted you to know where I'm coming from, and that I'm not mad at you.

If you wanna talk or hang out or whatever I'd love to hear from you... And hear what you think about this long-ass letter I just wrote. If not I'm sure I'll see you around.

xoxo Danielle

I thought it was pretty good and I said everything I needed to say.

He didn't reply.

I'm probably going to see him Saturday night when I'm out for my friend's birthday party. We'll see how that is. Maybe I'll make out with another guy in front of him. Just an idea :)

Friday, May 02, 2008

Jayme Jayme Bo Bayme Banana Fanna Fo Fayme

According to my sister one of my most loyal readers, Ms. Jayme Bubel, thought that I should pay homage to her for all the time and effort she's put in keeping up with my crazy-ass love life. Well here it is.

I was thinking about what I should say about Jayme, but her life is pretty much as boring as my sister's... except she went to Europe and hung around with a lotta gay dudes, which was pretty cool. I made use of Google Image to search for "Jayme" instead and put together a little tribute hopefully she will enjoy.

Here it is: The Totally Untrue History of Jayme Bubel:

Mere weeks after being born, Jayme's overbearing stage mother forced her into the pagent circuit where she went on to win the title of "Miss Gorilla Vacuum Shop Abbotsford" in the years 1995 through 2008. After years of dressing up as Minnie Mouse and the Care Bears though, Jayme felt that she needed to rebel. She became a porn star instead. What is she doing with those cupcakes?
Jayme's porn career ended quickly however, when she got into a car accident onher way to pole dancing class and woke up as a pomeranian.

She had one thing to say: "Rufff.... Arrrr.... Yelp... Yelppp!" which roughly translates into "Get me out of this #$%$%$ dog body! I'm trapped! Heeeelllllp!!"
Jayme's friends knew where to turn. To Jesus Mushroom Guy. He gave Jayme some of his "special" mushrooms and she turned back into a human from a dog. With one difference though: She was a 13-year-old Jew. As a Jew she had lots of money, so she immediately headed to South Beach to celebrate her becoming a woman in a Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Oy Veh!
Fast forward a few years and she got married to a cute guy whose name also happened to be Jayme. Who knew?
The End!
PS. Please check out Jayme's IMDB site. She needs some star power people! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2665833/filmotype

Thursday, May 01, 2008

A comic genious... and cute?

No people, I'm not talking about myself! But thanks for thinking of me!

I'm talking about Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy... The best cartoon ever. (Well it's tied with The Little Mermaid.)

Nicole was watching Extra the other day and he was on there doing an interview. I had expected him to look kinda Peter Griffin-esque... But he's actually pretty cute!

However, she did point out that he does bear a slight resemblance to Christopher Knight aka Peter Brady.

Hey Seth... If you see this... Call me!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Wedding Shmedding

Last night I went with my sister, her fiance and one of his groomsmen to Moore's to pick out tuxes for the wedding. Well, was that ever an interesting night.

Her fiance showed up in a super pissy mood. He had been avoiding going for his fitting for a while because he doesn't like trying things on... Wah wah... Man up... It's one fitting for one day of wearing the tux. Then they got in a huge fight and he stormed out.

He came back like 15 minutes later and we went to the store. There was a line so we had to waste time for like an hour before being helped.

Finally we got tuxes picked out and the boys into them. They looked pretty good. They are black 3-buttons with ivory shirts and burgundy ties and vests to match the bridesmaid dresses.

Now if only the fiance would pick a 4th groomsman so they'd match up properly with the bridesmaids everything would be hunky dory!

Coffee 'n' Movie

The other night my friend and I went out for coffee and a movie.

At the coffee shop there was the biggest "hand talker" I've ever seen. He wasn't just using them for emphasis... he was throwing them around so much I was surprised he didn't hurt somebody. He was using his hands to mime out boxes, and then sticking his hand straight up and pointing like "to infinity and beyond" and then pumping both arms up and down like he's "raising the roof."

This was occuring in Starbucks... and as we sat there and watched him instead of having our own conversation (because other people's convos are always more interesting) we saw someone across the street at the Tim Hortons who was a big hand-talker too. I didn't know if it was a coincidence, or if the person at Timmy's was watching Starbucks guy and acting it out.

Also at Starbucks this guy came in and stood in line right beside our table... like super close to us... like almost sitting on the table. He was a big dad, and he was wearing sweatpants and he had a wedgie. Personal bubble please! Step off dad!

After that we took my huge candy-filled purse (of course I had Peanut Butter M&M's!) to the theatre and saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." It was really funny. Some of the best parts were when they made fun of CSI:

"They found his penis behind the AC unit."
"That's what I call a dick-sicle."

...Or something like that. Either way I reccommend it. Unless you have no sense of humor. Then you can stay home and watch Dancing with the Stars.

We also had a chat about theatre ettiquete. Like don't sit in front of someone. These people came and sat in front of me and I quickly tried to throw my feet up on the seat but it was too late and they sat there. My knees got sore from not being able to put them up the whole movie. It was kind of a bitch move I pulled though, 'cause it was RIGHT before they sat down and my friend grabbed my leg and was like "I can't believe you did that." Well believe it, buddy! We had a good chuckle over what I actually will do.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Randomest Thing EVER

One of my exes texted me the other night and was like "What's up?" to which I replied "Just got home from the pub." and he went "So what are you doing?" and I wrote "Going to bed, it's 1:30am."

Then he said "I got stabbed the other night."

WHAT the F!!??

I said "What the hell!! ... Why... Where... By who?"

He replied "so breakfast tomorrow?"

Yeah... Getting stabbed... Not a big deal at ALL. Bacon is MUCH more important!

PS. No Nicole and Jayme, it's not Matt so don't get upset!

Monday, April 14, 2008

White Rockin It

I was sitting on the patio at the OB on Saturday night, just watching the cars go by... Some of them 2-4 times. Just up and down and up and down the strip.

The best thing I saw was a guy driving a H2 Hummer... with a price tag on it and demonstration plates. Buddy!!! You are NOT cool!

The Hospital is the Place to Be!

The Wednesday after I met the cuuuute guy that I said may end the curse, I went out with the same group again. Me, my friend, his friend and him.

(If I'm going to talk about him I should probably give him a good nickname. I was thinking Bartender Boy #2, but that's kinda long... So we'll call him JT.)

Anyhoo... JT and his friend coach a junior hockey team, and they for some reason were doing a practice at GM Place. My friend and I dropped them off, and went and had some dinner before we all were going to meet up and go to The Roxy later on.

I got a phone call from JT saying to come pick them up, and fast, because his friend had been horsing around with one of the kids and accidently gave him a bad upper cut. He knocked the kid's tooth out, cut his hand and needed stitches.

We all made the trek to St. Paul's where we spent the next 2 hours sitting in Emergency. He had actually severed a bunch of the tendons in his hand, so they needed to cut the hand open farther to reach the tendons, sew them up, and then stich him. (He has since had surgery on his hand and was in the hospital for a few days... poor guy!!) Needless to say none of us were in the best mood... but his friend was a trooper and we all headed to the bar.

We stayed there for a few hours and took off to go home. On the way home JT and I had sort of a "relationship talk" where we told each other that we like each other... but I told him that I'm finding it hard to figure him out and I don't really know where he's at. I did say though that even though both of us are SUPER busy... and work totally opposing hours... I didn't want to give up on a good guy, because a good guy is hard to find... ESPECIALLY in Langley! Then we snuggled. Aww.

Since then I've talked to him a few times, and we've hung out once. I'm sorta confused though. When I'm with him he tells me he likes me, and acts like he likes me... but when I'm not around him he doesn't call or text a whole lot. It's like I'm doing all the work. Is it 'cause he's busy? Because busy is another word for "I never think about you and don't care enough to call you." I don't know!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Quotes of the Week

"I'm still a virgin... it didn't even hit my uterus." - Cece

"That chick is heavy like a first-day period." - My Dad

(With arms outstretched and hands fisted)
"What am I?"
"I dunno, what?"
"Fallopian tubes." - Again, Cece

(Upon looking at the study model of my teeth... I have a teeny mouth)
"How do you even fit a cock in there?" - For the third time, Cece

Wow... These are great if you want to think about something and laugh to yourself and make everyone wonder why you're smiling.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Cheap Dental Services

Well as most of you know I'm in my third semester of Dental Hygiene school. I've offically started cleaning "real people's" teeth and would LOVE to have people come in and be my clients.

It's a super good deal too for anyone without dental insurance. A cleaning is only $25. Bleaching, sealants and x-rays are really cheap too.

Because we are still learning the appointments are long and you would have to be able to commit to coming in at least 5 times... But the care I'd give you is amazing and detailed. We check out your entire head and mouth, gums, teeth, health history etc. We also educate you on oral health and general well being. Plus I'm a straight-A student... My report card is on the fridge if you don't believe me :)

If you'd like to come in or know anyone who would please contact me for more details. Thanks!

PS. To avoid any confusion the $25 is total... not per session.

Thanks Guys!

Ok... I don't wanna say this in a way that I'm coming off like I'm totally full of myself... But I just wanted to send a shout out to my so-called "fans." You know who you are... The people who think my teeny lil life is interesting enough to come and check out and keep up with what's going on with me. It honestly means a lot to me and hopefully the predicaments I get myself into will make you smile.

Also... The largest number of people who seem to read this are from Calgary. I don't know who you are exactly... But thanks Cow-town!

I also LOVE comments and getting a discussion going. If anyone ever has anything to say about my posts I'd love to hear it. Or advice! I think we all know I can usually use some!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


A girl at my school was eating a McRib sandwich in the lunchroom at school the other day. I 've never had one before so I asked her how it was and she said that it was really good. I was like: "Yeah, I dunno about eating a burger made of pork though," to which she replied: "This is PORK??" It was the 4th one she'd eaten that week and she thought it was beef the whole time. Awesome. Then I was like "I guess it probably just tastes the same as their sausage patties." And she's like: "Sausage is pork too?" WOW.

Friday, March 28, 2008

It's Snowing

Snow at the end of March... GREAT.
Honestly... What the hell is going on? It's supposed to be Spring!!
Good thing I kept being like "Well as long as it doesn't snow anymore this winter I'm good."

Sunday, March 23, 2008

We'll See!

OK People... There is a chance... CHANCE ... that the curse may be over. I don't wanna get too excited yet... but I met a cuuute guy on Weds and it's looking promising.

I met up with my friend at Moxies for dinner the other night, and she ended up bringing two guy friends. I hadn't gotten dressed up at all and didn't feel like impressing anyone... so I was just totally beaking one of them... Just kept bringing it. And then I was like, "You sit too close to the fire, you're gonna get burned," which everyone really enjoyed. Anyways dinner led to "Hey let's go to the bar," so at like 11 we left and ran home to get changed.

On the way home I mentioned to my friend that one of them was cute... and she was like "Oh, he said the same thing about you." So I told her that I was going to make out with him that night. And I did. At the bar she had texted him: "You're in!" but I didn't know til after. He is a good kisser, let me tell ya!

He called me the other day... and we're supposed to hang out again next Wednesday. Yay! Also my friend who works with him said that he keeps talking about me. That's a good sign too.

Man, it's like highschool. It's so much more fun when you have a friend go-between.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

SECOND Worst Date Ever

I have officially gone on my second worst date ever. Man, it was BAD.

So I'm talking to this guy on the phone and he lives in New West and I'm in Langtown (represent) so we thought we'd meet somewhere. He suggests downtown. Yeah... that's RIGHT in the middle. Then I find out it's 'cause he lost his license for 3 months because of a 24-hr. GREAT!

So we meet at his house and make the trek to the Skytrain to go to Van. On the Skytrain he says a lot of dumb shit. "When I was in Grade 12 I didn't want to be too tall... So I told myself to stop growing... and I did." Apparently he did it by not going to sleep until after 12 because before 12 while you are sleeping is when you do your growing. Well that's what his gym-teacher mom told him. I'm like "Actually they don't know why we sleep... and we grow during the day too," to which he blurts out "Where did you hear that?!?" I tell him I learned in Biology to which he assures me that yep, he took Biology 11 too. I'm like "No, university biology." Which shut him up.

So we get downtown and go for some sushi, which he didn't pay for. I mean come on, I'm NOT high maintenance and I DON'T want a guy falling all over me... But on the first date the dude should pay! Then he gets himself a free green tea from this dispenser and doesn't even offer to pour me one. Thanks. That's not even a date thing. It's a common courtesy thing. He tells me he'll buy us some dessert later. (He didn't.)

After sushi he wanted to go shopping... but he didn't know where he was going and then the mall was closed. Great.

We see that the Vancouver Art Gallery's open and it's by-donation night so we go in. He actually paid, but only because the girl at the desk was like "Do you wanna put $10 on your card for both of you?" and he was like "Mmmmm yeah, I guess so." So we're walking around looking at stuff... and he's like "Are these photos or paintings?" READ THE WALL - They were photos that were edited to look painting-like. Then he's like "No... for sure some of these are paintings!" Yep, you are the expert, buddy! Anyway after like 20 mins he wants to go 'cause he's bored. I was actually enjoying myself. First I like art... second I could kinda walk around by myself without him in there. I'd really like to go back with someone I actually like one day.

After that he suggests a movie... I'm like "No...let's go home." But I still had to take the Skytrain back and then walk back (up a huge hill) to his house. I'm like, "Wow, it's good I didn't wear heels" and he's like "Yeah... plus the sound is really annoying." Ummm OK!

On the way back he decides he needs to go pee, so we need to take a detour by his tennis club. I'm like "Just go in the bushes!" But he wanted a glass of water too. So we go to the damn club and he pees and gets some water (again, does't offer) and we walk back.

I'm like "See ya!" and get in my car and drive away. And that was it. Second worst date ever.

Da dum dum dum

I officially finished my speech for my sister's wedding, which isn't for like 4 and a half more months. It's damn good if I do say so myself. And I'm allowed to say that, 'cause I didn't write it... I stole it.

I'm actually just gonna go up there and do a Mini Wheats commerical medly. Her fiance is gonna help chime in ... "Mini mini mini mini wheats" ... "STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR."

I though maybe I could change the words to make it about them... But I thought "Nicki nicki nicki nicki's teats" ... "STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR" was kinda vulgar.

Honestly though... The speech is ready to go.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Woot Woot

I officially went to my first gay club on Sunday... and it was AWESOME. We went to Celebrities first but it was totally dead, so we went to the Odyssey insead and watched the drag show. I mean what's more entertaining than fat gay guys in dresses lip-synching?

I spent most of the night dancing with this one guy. It was hilairous. He dragged me out onto the dance floor at the very beginning, so no one was out there yet and everyone was watching us. He was so funny too... In a TOTALLY gay accent he kept being like "Oooh my god... Girl you are sooo beautiful! You look like the girl on Gossip Girl." and "I have Neeever seen a GIRL move like that!"

I swear, the only thing better than getting hit on by straight dudes is getting hit on by gay ones.

After the bar we were totally starving so we went for pizza... and then poutine. Oink!!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Shopping Fun

I got wrangled into going shopping with my Mommy today. Kinda boring, yet slightly entertaining. I also made her buy me shampoo and conditioner. SCORE!

First off... I have never seen so many motorized wheelchairs in one place. Honestly old people... You don't work!!! Go shopping on a weekday. Less people's feet for you to wheel over!

Secondly... This girl started to put her groceries into our cart and I was like "Ummm... That's ours!" She was like "I was wondering why you were giving me a weird look."

Thirdly... In the salad dressing aisle there's these new sauces called "Celebrities" or something. There are pics of total local D-list celebrities on them... And Jason Priestly! Awesome!! Speaking of that... The WB is considering doing some sort of spin-off or new version of 90210. I WILL be watching that!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

My Post-Bday

I'm finished finals! Yay!!! Say it with me now: YAYYYY!!!! Now dance! Bow-chica bow bow... Bow chica bow wow. I officially have a week off and get to actually celebrate my birthday.

It was a pain in my ass trying to get people to come out to my birthday. Honestly, I wonder sometimes why I bother. Guess what people... Langley/White Rock = NOT THAT FAR from Vancouver! No... It's NOT going to take you an hour! You aren't going to cross the bridge and be in some crazy old fashioned land where the only music is country, there's no running water and don't even THINK about electricity! I drive to Vancouver and back almost every day... during rush hour. I come out to your birthdays... I'm downtown a lot. I don't think that once a year is too much to ask.

Anyways... Thanks to my friends who did come out and I had lots of fun. We started out at a friends's house, then went to the opening of this new club called The Social. The club seems o-tay... It's nice to have an option other than V-Room if I wanna stay semi-local.

I ended up kissin' a cute boy... A cute half-Asian boy. I know right... You are like "Danielle... and an Asian! Whaaatt?" And he had cute teeth. I told him that. He prefered sexy man-chompers.

After the club we cabbed it to Denny's. I wasn't even that hungry; it was more to divert a certain somebody from going to Van with a random. I think we all know who we are! No more booze for you darlin'!

We got home at 5am. Then breakfast (again) at IHOP when we dragged our bums outta bed. Good times.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

me's getting up there

I am officially 24 years old. I know I thought I was a while back, but I really am now.

What does this mean? One more year closer to dying. One more year I spent single while my little sister and all her friends got engaged and/or married. One more year I was stuck in school.

Oh well. Once I'm 25 I'm going to be a BALLER!

oh yeah

The guy wasn't even a good kisser... drunk or sober. I should have ran for the hills. Like my heroes on Sex and the City say... Bad kisser is a non-negotiable. Also, he kinda spat when he talked. I asked for the news, not the weather, buddy!

a modification to the curse

So I met this new guy and went out with him a few times (3 to be exact) and then have barely heard from him since. He seemed really great. He was totally laid back, we spent all our time joking around and making fun of each other, he was cute, and he knows where hes going in life.

This is pretty strange. He had been calling or texting me every day, and he was the one that asked me to hang out; I wasn't even being needy or anything!

The last time we hung out I went to his house and we chilled and watched a movie and then afterwards we were just cuddling and kissing on the couch... and he's like "Wanna go upstairs?"

Well you people all know about "the curse"... So I didn't really wanna rush things. I was like "Ummm I dunno" and he totally didn't push the issue at all, which I thought was nice, and we just cuddled til I left to go home.

After that I've gotten like 3 texts from him, all really far apart. I honestly don't get it! My friend thinks that he just wanted to get some and when he didn't he gave up... But most guys wait around until they've gotten some don't they?

My curse has a new name: The Curse of the Pussy Denied!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Feelin' Good

The other day I was driving home on the freeway, stuck in traffic in the fast lane, and watching everyone speed by me in the HOV.

As I inched along a school bus drove by and one of the little girls on it waved at me. I totally remembered what a thrill it was back in the day waving at random people while on a field trip, and how excited we got when they acknowledged us, so I gave her a little wave back. She got this totally happy, surprised look on her face and turned around really fast to tell her friends.

Then more of them waved at me... And then ducked... And then waved.

As the school bus got farther and farther in front of me they kept waving... and I kept waving back. Finally just before it was out of sight the two girls in the back waved one last time... and when I waved back they high-fived each other.

If that's not gonna make you feel good about yourself, I don't know what is :)

Friday, February 08, 2008


I'm pretty damn stressed out right now. We have finals coming up in three weeks, but that part is ok... I can handle the book-learning part of school. The clinic is the part that is making me nervous.

They made us sign a contract saying that we will be finished one adult and one child patient by the end of this semester... Which is in 4 weeks. That is 8 clinic sessions to finish something that is going to take 10. Yep... It's impossible! What happens if we don't finish? Theoretically they can kick us out of school. It's not going to happen... but it could.

Also, we have our local anaesthetic practical tests coming up soon. Honestly... if there is anything scarier than needles it's getting a TEST on giving needles. YIKES!


Nope, I haven't heard from hot guy I met at the bar. I guess what do you expect when you meet someone at the bar, right?

The thing I want to know is this... Why would he say "I'll call you tomorrow" if he's not going to? I wasn't like "Call me tomorrow" ... HE said it. WHY?

Guys... I don't care if you are drunk, stoned or just mesmerized by my beauty (gag!) ... Don't LIE!


Last night I called my aunt and got a busy signal and for a second I was like "What the heck is that sound?" Honestly? Who doesn't have caller ID? I didn't even know they made busy signals anymore!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Crazy Kids

Last night my mom and her friend had a "sleepover." All the people from their work were having a going-away dinner for this guy, and since it was snowing her friend stayed over at our house so she was close to work in the morning.

It was hilarious. They were in their pajamas and we all watched House.

Crazy kids... and it was a school night too! Too funny.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Bar Star Dani - Saturday

I headed to Vancouver early to get ready at Cece's house, where I met her boyfriend for the first time. He is Korean-American and looks like Keanu Reeves. Unfortunately he talks about shooting people a lot. Like how all fat people should be shot, and all people with AIDS should be shot... etc etc. Yikes.

The group of us headed to the Joey's downtown for our friend's birthday. I tried Ahi tuna on these Ahi tuna taco things. It was good... Even though raw stuff still kinda scares me a bit. As we were looking at the menu my friend's boyfriend was like "This menu needs pictures!" HAHAHA It's not Denny's buddy!

He also realized he had forgotten his ID back at her house, so while all the girls headed to the club they went back to get his ID... only to make it back, stand in line for an hour, give up and go home. Sucks to be them.

We went to Ginger... Which is both good and bad. I really like the atmosphere there... the lighting, how people are dressed, the ambiance in general. I'm also not really a fan of house music though.

As much as I hate to admit I was a barstar this weekend, I also hate to admit that I caused some drama. There that night was a girl I got to school with, and her red-head friend. They are both 19. 'Nuff said.

Anyways... Earlier in the night I had seen this really gorgeous guy come in, but he was holding hands with a girl who I assumed was his girlfriend. They had also spotted him, and were following him around the club. To make a long story short, it turns out he's single and next thing I see is the red-head all over him, rubbing up and putting her face in his face. I walked over and after a bit us girls went to dance.

A little later I went to the bar to get a drink and saw him there alone so I started a conversation with him... which led to us talking for like an hour. As well as being totally my type looks-wise, he's 26 and a graphic designer from Kits. (Yes... LEGIT)

He kept telling me how the red-head was staring at us and looking really mad and I was like "Shit, she's gonna kick me ass!" Next thing I know she's walking over to us and trying to get me to leave the guy and go dance. I didn't want to, and she stood there looking at me really weirdly. I was like: "Sorry." and she's like: "For what?" and I'm like: "Well, I don't wanna make you mad." "She was like... Mad? For what? Do what you wanna do." I thought it was really cool of her and just as I was saying it was cool of her to the guy hes like "No way!"... because she had just given us the finger. Yep, 19.

We talked until the club closed and then he took my number and gave me a lil kiss (awww) and we all went home.

Bar Star Dani - Friday

I hate to admit it... but I was a bit of a barstar this weekend. Yes, both nights I got all dressed up and dragged my fine ass downtown to Granville street.

Part Uno:

Friday night I hit up the Roxy with my friend Kim. She is newly moved home from Texas, and fresh off a broken engagement ... young, single and ready to mingle! It's awesome going out with her because she knows EVERYONE. Sometimes I feel a bit like her entourage, following her around, but she is an awesome girl... and she doesn't drink so she is automatic designated driver.

It was like Langley blew up in the Roxy. One of the girls I used to work with at Sammy's was having her b-day there and it was packed with Langley-ites. It was nice to see them, but we don't have much in common past "How are you?" ..."Good" ... "How are you?" ... "Good." I might as well have been at Vanilla Room. Even frickin Nickelback was there... Also from Langley.

To take a break we went to Stone Temple to say hi to Jae's ex, because it was his last night working there. There were less people there than I had ever seen before. Like 15. It was weird. I did though tell him how his friend is a major hottie and how he should hook us up.

After that we stopped by Tonic for a few mins to dance and then headed back to Roxy for the rest of the night.

My "Sensual" Horoscope

Zodiac Secrets of the Sensual Pisces Woman
The Sensuous Pisces Woman has a tendency to experience love at first sight more than any other sign. Think about it. When you fall in love, you don’t just “fall,” you tumble head-over-heels.

Sensitive, Alluring, and Responsive, you’re fascinating to watch. If you are not already a dancer you surely could be because you don’t just walk into a room, you float through the door. When you smile or talk, your loving personality shines through like a bright, beaming star. This romantic radiance of yours has an overwhelming effect on people. Your energy naturally draws them to you and even makes them feel better about themselves.

If your sex-appeal were a perfume… it would be called “Sensual Surrender.”Why? Because romance is the drumbeat to your soul. You wear passion around your neck like a necklace. When others are fearful about love – you abandon yourself to it.

According to the Sensual Zodiac, no other sign loves as thoroughly and romantically as you.

And here’s another sexy secret about you: You long to be totally free in bed. You want to be swept away on a sea of emotion and lose yourself completely. You want sex that is rich in sensuality and dripping with intensity. You need a lover whose passionate kisses and caresses make you tremble with excitement.

How to seduce you? The old fashioned way where romance comes first, followed by endless nights of passionate sex. You prefer naturally romantic settings so you can let your imagination run wild.

You are the kind of lover who has to get super-relaxed before sex. The element of water is your romantic aphrodisiac… and that’s why anything that brings you deep relaxation is the best romantic ritual for you. And of the many ways you could find to relax… a long, luxurious, romantic bath always tops the list.

Most romantic places for you to make love:
• On a plush blanket, while lying on the sand of a warm, secluded beach.
• In a Jacuzzi hot tub, filled with fragrant flowers and overflowing with silky milky bath bubbles.
• On the king sized waterbed in the master suite of a private yacht.