Monday, September 24, 2007

A Question

Scene: You are driving in your car with your best friend.

You: Wow... check out that chick in the F150 with the short hair... is she ugly or what?

Friend: Chick? I thought that was a dude! A hot dude!

You can see what I'm getting at here: people who you can't tell at first glance if they are a man or woman. I'm not talking cross-dressers, or people who are "stuck in the wrong body." I'm talking people who just have that look where you can't tell either way. I mean I saw a dude at the pub on Saturday night with the longest, lushest hair ever... Like Pantene Pro-V hair. Why? Why?

We all know they exist... The question is do THEY know they exist? Does the chick in baggy jeans and a hat know she looks like a boy? Does the dude with the Angelina Jolie lips know he looks a little femme? If you are one of those people who people take a minute to decipher their sex do you know?

Rules of Engagement

My sister was reading my blog the other day and asked me why I hadn't written about her engagement... (Which FYI happened on February 24, so yeah, quite a while ago.) I told her that I only write about things that people care about... aka MY life.

But anyways to appease here here it is... I am letting her write a little blurb about it. Hopefully it's better than her journal. I started to read that shit and threw it back on the floor because it was so boring. So here goes:

Hi, I'm Nicole, Danielle's younger sister who is getting married BEFORE her. At least she's better looking than me, so she has that going for her... What? You think I'm too young to get married? What do you know old fart? 21 is the new 30 ok! Did I mention I asked Danielle to pop the huge-ass zit on my back today?

Ok... wait... No, that's still me. I know what she would have said anyways and that was it word for word.

Are you happy now Sis? People know you're engaged. They also know you have backne. Hope you're happy!

PS. The wedding dress is actually really nice and so are the bridesmaid dresses. I'm gonna be hot!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Aaawww

Sometimes it is nice to stop and smell the roses... Or in my case enjoy the scenery on my long, boring drives to and from school.

This morning driving to school it was foggy, and coming down the hill to the Port Mann was cool, cause it looked like I was driving into a big cotton ball.

The previous day it was super rainy... But then the weather had cleared up right when I reached the bridge... So it was sunny and rainy and cloudy at the same time, and there was a big rainbow spawning the river. The colours were: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet and Brown... Yes brown, it's the Fraser River ok!
Oh, and speaking of rainbow... For some reason that is beyong me I had the theme song to "Reading Rainbow" is my head today.... SO TAKE A LOOK, IT'S IN A BOOK... A READING RAINBOW!!

PIMP...les

The worst part about school is the stress... And the worst part of the stress is breaking out. Especially when I have been in school all summer long and have no tan. I can joke about it now, because my skin has cleared up, but last week I had some bigguns! This is what I looked like:
I know right.
I am 23 years old for Chissakes! Enough is enough!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Timber, Timba and ... Good Charlotte?

I went to the Justin Timberlake concert September 5th and it was grrrrreat!

Good Charlotte opened the show. Yeah I know... Kind of a strange combination. They weren't actually too bad though. The highlight was them singing that song: "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money," which I had totally forgotten about. That song is good damnit! I went to the show with Elise and we spent the whole opening act screaming: "Oh my God! It's Good Charlotte... Oh my God, like the lead single like totally looked at me, he like totally likes me." ... "Oh yeah right, he like totally told me that he's like leaving that whore Nicole Richie for me ok!"

Then... out came Justin... Oh yeah!
He put on a really good show with lots of dancing, which he is really good at, obviously. He also played a buncha instruments... piano, guitar, keyboard around the neck thingy.

What I really liked about the concert though is that he seemed like a real, genuine person. First off he said the F-word few times... I was like huh? Justin? Wow! Also, he was funny.... When he first came out he was like "Ok, I may be Captain Obvious here, but this is my first show in Vancouver," and talked about how he was supposed to be here in 2003 but the show was cancelled because of customs (You're telling me buddy, I had tickets for that!) Then he went on to say that it "smelled funny" in GM Place... and near the end of the concert yelled: "If you got it left, smoke it!" He also said that he had noticed something about Canadians... and did a "drinking" motion... Then got everyone to cheers him and did a shot of tequila.

Halfway through the show Timbaland came out and they did a few songs together... Then Justin took a break and Timba spun some songs... Including some Aaliyah and some The Fray. The Justin came back up and finished up the show.
All in all it was really good and I would totally go to see him again. We also had really good seats, which was great. Next up I'm going to watch the Rihanna/Akon concert in a suite for FREE on Saturday! YAY!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Oopsie Doopsie

Ok people... So you remember the "He's Just Not That Into You" guy? Well as it turns out he actually WAS sick with food poisoning, missed 2 days of work and all that jazz. Hey, I feel for him... my last night/plane ride home from Cuba was NOT fun.

He sent me a message on Facebook explaining himself, because he wasn't really impressed with me blogging about him being a liar... oops! So here it is, my official retraction: dude is not a liar.

Honestly though, it's not my fault I didn't believe him. It's like the story of the boy who cried wolf... When he actually told the truth no one believed him... See? I have been lied to so many times by guys that when one is actually telling me the truth I think it's bullshit. Wow, I am jaded... or is it bitter? No, not bitter yet, maybe in a few years.

After this whole ordeal the guy, who we will now refer to as "two-times guy" ... for the two times he stood me up ... (which I think is better than "food poisoning guy," ) and I went out for some drinks and a movie last Friday. It was actually really fun. He was pretty funny... (or was it the 5-ish drinks I consumed?) and we got along really well. Everything was great except the movie. FYI: NEVER EVER go see Halloween. It is the worst movie I have ever seen... literally.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Homosexucats?

I am still house sitting for my uncle, and it has led me to think about a certain question... Can cats, and other animals, be gay?

I recently caught one of my uncle's male cats giving the other one an RJ (you know... rim job...) while the other cat licked that cat's head. Yeah I know, it was gross... But it made me think... are they gay?

It's my personal belief that homosexuality has to do strongly with genetics, and MAYBE some upbringing. I disagree that people "choose" that lifestyle, because I don't know why people would choose a life that is likely to make things harder on themselves... So if people can be gay by some random mix of DNA, then why not our furry friends too? Think about it... But not too hard you pervert!

Also I was thinking... If I buy them some pink furry collars I have just under a year to walk them in the Gay Pride Parade next year. I'm so excited!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Shut up and Drive

I have been communting to school and/or work for a good couple years now. As you can probably figure out, it's not that fun, so I need to do things to keep myself amused. My preferred choice of self-amusement is to sing and car-dance to music... Especially music from the 90's and early 2000's. This can be a little tiring sometimes though, so I just stare out the window.

Through the window while driving you can see some pretty weird stuff, especially when you drive as much as I do... Sometimes you can see the person beside you singing along to the same radio station as you... Sometimes you see people picking their noses.... Sometimes you see them checking you out. But lately, I have seen some things stranger still:

- A dude reading a newspaper, and another reading a flyer in their cars. (Really SAFE guys.)

- A guy whose license plate is "BOX LVR." (It was on a Porche Boxter, but still... double ententre much?)

- A guy driving down 200th street on a tractor sipping on a Slurpee. (It was blue.)

- A person shaving, and a person brushing their teeth in their cars. (Yum.)

- An old lady in a driving school car and for good reason... because she was the worst driver ever. She stopped about 3 car lengths behind the car in front of her at the light, then when it changed she sat there for 20 seconds... and then gunned it. Take her licence away for good... please!

- A lady driving with a neck brace on. (In her defense she is Asian, so even if able she probably wouldn't have shoulder checked anyways.)

- Lastly, a remarkably high number of people walking with umbrellas to keep the sun off them (like 6 in one day.)