Monday, May 14, 2007

bow-chica-bow-wow

(No, my weekend had nothing to do with porn in case you were getting excited...I just needed a title.)

Friday night after work Elise came and picked me up and we went to watch her friend Danielle (aka Danielle #2) play softball. They got creamed... 20 to 5 ... I got a free beer though, so that helped ease the pain. There was this old drunk red-eyed grandpa there, and I guarantee it wasn't coffee in his Timmie's mug. The ump's son was there too and he was this total cave-boy who stood there banging stones together for a good 45 minutes... Then he started smelling them. Kids are weird.

After the game a the group of us went to Sammy's for a bit. Elise talked about poo the whole time... oh and skidmarks... great. She was completely sober too, that's just Elise. Bartender Boy was there and our waitress told me she thought he was hot... Yeah I know.

Saturday I woke up at the crack of dawn (aka 6:30) and headed into A-town for a photoshoot. I got my hair done in an updo and my makeup airbrushed on. I was so pampered! Then we all took pictures for a girl's website wearing samples from her jewellery line. It was pretty high-tech... we sat on an exercise ball in front of a sheet tacked to the roof. The girl taking the pics told me that I was good at posing and asked if I had ever modeled before. No, I've just watched every season of ANTM.

Saturday night I partied it up at the Vanilla Room with Jaelene. I was apprehensive about going there again but it was ok; I made nice with the bouncer. It was a fun night. I was making friends with a lot of random girls, which is a nice change from the bitches at the downtown clubs. In the bathroom a girl puked on the floor and a drop got on my foot. It was pretty sick but another gave me some spray-on hand sanitizer and I coated my foot with it.

At one point while Jae was off dancing I was just chilling on the couch, resting my feet (my shoes are f-ing CUTE, but hurt like a bitch) this guy was hitting on me. He pretty much used the best line ever: "Hi, my name is ____ and I believe in at least 20 minutes of foreplay before sex and at least 20 minutes of cuddling after." Points for originality there buddy!

I, of course, spent Mother's Day with my mom. She made me and my sister do some slave labour. As we were outside weeding the garden a little kid came by on her scooter and asked my sister what she was doing. "I'm helping my mom weed the garden because it's Mother's Day," she replied... to which the girl exclaimed, "It's my Mom's birthday too!" Kids.

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