Sunday, March 26, 2006

crazy ppl that no speak english

So, I have a profile on "Hi5" and I get a lot of guys that message me. Some of them though, can NOT speak Anglais !! Just for fun here are some examples:


Subject: Hello Princess
Message: Hello Good Days I was in hi5 and I saw your profile and it sends a message to you if you speak a little of Spanish wirte me pleases to me to make friendships greetings from Peru Lima kisses Francisco;) add me youre hi too francisco_Redolfo@msn.com


Subject: Well
Message: here is a message for u, im not creepy and u got a beautyful smile its a pitty that im not in canada and a pitty that u look like a very gentle person and well u look nice gooooood luck


Subject: hi
Message:I wated to be one of the many men that pm'd u to say you look real pretty.


Subject: Hi Danielle
Message: hi how are you?., I am Angelo Jaguande Im from Peru Im 27 years old., and you it would like to be able mas of know you., to know since like you are., you look like to me a beautiful person., you are very happy., very enterteining., and I am charmed with it of a girl as beautiful as your., you have the prettiest look, a few beautiful and tender eyes and the prettiest smile., good my small queen I leave my email ok you it is anjaguande@hotmail.com. Kisses look after yourself very much. You know are a very beautiful woman., beautiful and very pretty and I would like to know if I will have the possibility of being corresponded to your beautiful heart and to your pretty feeling of being accepted by your great love., I like you too much and look like to myself a very good person., good slightly crazy as anyone., but that you are very good., you have the prettiest smile, a few beautiful lips and a provocative look., you are very nice., I hope that you answer me ok order you many embraces and kisses. I tell you that the Englishman does not speak very well but to be read perfectly., and to write it also., but if one would like to call you to say so many beautiful things to you as your., good I wait for your response.


Subject: hi
Message: hey u look like acool girl and very cute if i might say i am 3 months in canada now i am in london ontraio but me and my friend r going to b.c in two weeks i thought it will be nice to know somebody there that i can hang out with him so... if u r out going girl so write me back live it up amir perri


Subject: hi my name Jonathan
Message: I'm asshole when i don't get any.I gotta have my pizza or I'm an asshole o.So wants going on?

Subject: Just
Message: wanted to say you look like my dream girl... no joke believe or not...if you think that i am a creep, then you don't have to reply. if you want me to prove it to you that you are like my dream girl...holla back. I am 23m from surrey. I have everything except a girl like you. ;) -Tiger

The Prospect?

So there is this guy who I went on a date with a while back and nothing happened, but I saw him again and noticed that he was lookin pretty good (he got a haircut.) I didn't feel well that night so we left early.

The next weekend I went downtown with my friend again. We all hung out as a group and I ended up making out and such with the guy. He was very sweet, all kissing my head and my hand and stuff and not pressuring me at all... And he was like "I need to see you tomorrow!"

So the next night I went over there and we did a little kissing and watched a movie but he didn't really feel good so nothing else really happened. I didn't want to fool around with a guy that had a stomachache.

The weekend after that I saw him and he was being really nice and we sat down and started to kiss and I was like, "So, you never called me this week." And he says "OH, WAS I SUPPOSED TO?" What a dumbass! He's the one who was like "I NEED to see you."

He asks me "What do you want out of this?" and I say: (yes, something only I would actually come out and say) "Well not a fuck-buddy cause I wouldn't need to drive all the way to Vancouver to get that, I could get it in Langley!" So he laughs and tells me that he's not interested in having a girlfriend and I guess we are looking for different things. I say that that's good to know and that was about it.

Now the latest: Last night I was in Van and I was drunk so I texted him and he didn't answer.... Then right as we were leaving I wrote: "Mmm too bad you didn't answer cus I was thinking I could come over and you know..."

... Well he wrote back to that one ASAP saying "Hey I just got ur text, where are you?" and I said "Leaving Gastown" and he said "Wanna stop by?" and I said "Sorry I'm already on the way home but I'm sure I'll see ya soon" and he says "There are other ways for you to get home" and I say "I'm already on the freeway and you would have had to drive me home" and he says "too bad, I would have" and then I got home and said goodnight.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

sweep ...SWEEEEEP...HURRY HARD

Oh yes ... I went curling.

I don't even like to watch it on tv. In fact my Dad is watching it right now and I refuse to partake. It's just too boring for words....Unless you are playing it like a pro, as I demonstrated recently.

My work has an annual curling "bonspiel" (meaning?) that I decided to joing in this year. My friend, her boyfriend and his friend came with me. All in all we had a ton of fun and didn't even suck too harsh. We won won, lost one and tied one ... not too shabby.

The bad part were the bruises I had on my knees from dragging them on the ground when I threw the rock. And the good part was watching everyone bail hard on the ice. For example, me.

After curling was dinner and we won prizes. I personally got a golf shirt, a water bottle and a really ugly green sweatshirt that I would MAYBE wear camping but maybe not even.

After dinner we went to the casino and watched a Colin James concert. Yeah he's old but we had free tix and he was actually pretty good. It also happened to be my birthday weekend so I wanted to get shittered. Me 'n my friend got pretty buzzed on coolers in the concert but then they shut down the drink carts and I got sober and it sucked.

Then my stomach started to hurt (I had been feeling nauseous for like 3 days in a row) so we went back to my friend's to stay the night.

We watched Bridget Jones 2 and headed off to sleep. In the morning we had breakfast at this good place and I ate eggs!! (I don't eat eggs) so good for me!

My friend's asshole boyfriend

Ok, so remember back in November when my friend started dating that guy who I used to like? I was a little jealous and did a rant about how it wouldn't last. Well now let me tell ya, I'm glad I avoided that a-bomb.

He treats her like POOP. She is hot, blonde and has very large boobies. She should be treated nice. NICE I say!!

Now, an example of his asshole-ness:

She was supposed to go and see him at his house. She showed up and no one was there, so she phones him. He says, "I'm at the pub ... Come down." She asks why he didn't phone before she got to his house and he said that he figured she'd phone him... Well he told her not to 'cause he was gonna be taking a nap!

Anyhoo she gets to the pub and his ex is there. His ex who is a MODEL... And he is ALL OVER her, putting his arms around her waist and neck while his girlfriend watches, and they even walk away and go sit in a booth by themselves.

So at about 11:30 (the bar closes at 12) my friend is fed up and leaves with to go back to her boyfriend's house and wait for him. When she gets there she sees Coors Light bottles everywhere .. the ex had been there too! She decides to take a shower to calm down and figures he will be there when she gets out ... Wrong-o!!! He comes stumbling in at 2 in the morning!! He even tries to claim that him and his ex were sitting in the car in the driveway (where shewould have heard him) "talking." Yeah talking my ass!!

Well now you see what I'm talking about. And that is only one of the bad things he's done.

TIME TO KICK HIM TO THE CURB HONEY !!